Cheap thrills?

#1
What can I do to get some excitement in my life.
Any thoughts on hobbies/pursuits that don't cost too much,are UK based and don't involve non-prescription drugs?
I am happily married,so going over the side is not required.Don't enjoy team sports,and am now quite boring in my habits.I need stimulation people!

PS; I turned 50 last June,have knackered knees and a beer belly (ironic as I don't like beer)
 
#2
If you think you can get through a CRB, how about Cadet Instructor?

You say your knees are knackered, but one of my AIs had a false leg.

Judging from some of the fat cunts I've seen in ATC uniforms, there may be hope for you.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#5
Have you thought about taking up masterbation in pulic places?
 
#6
When I was last in the UK cottaging seemed to be very popular, you must meet all sorts of interesting people whilst loitering in public toilets, not just defrocked Catholic priests and George Michael.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#7
Murdering prostitutes is both an enjoyable and community spirited hobby, if you need any tips drop me a PM. I am in the process of replacing my rape van at the moment actually, so if you need a good starter van I have one going cheap. I'll even throw in a shovel, some cable ties and a few roles of black 'n' nasty. Can't get fairer than that.
 
#8
Murdering prostitutes is both an enjoyable and community spirited hobby, if you need any tips drop me a PM. I am in the process of replacing my rape van at the moment actually, so if you need a good starter van I have one going cheap. I'll even throw in a shovel, some cable ties and a few roles of black 'n' nasty. Can't get fairer than that.
There's a bloke coming out of nick soon that will be interested. Pete's his name. Could you deliver it to the Chapeltown area of Leeds and throw in a couple of screwdrivers and a hammer.?
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#10
There's a bloke coming out of nick soon that will be interested. Pete's his name. Could you deliver it to the Chapeltown area of Leeds and throw in a couple of screwdrivers and a hammer.?
I'll see what I can do, not sure about letting him have my tools though, they hold a lot of sentimental value, the hammer especially.

I caved in my first ever Romanian street walker's skull with it, I couldn't just let it go for free.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#13
Its true. Its excellent cover for all his pervy gay bumming activities. He considers himself very lucky indeed. Its even acted as an alibi for two homosexual murders last year. In fact he was even at Barrymore's coke and death pool party but got away with it by saying he'd been at his wife's sisters birthday bash in Bridlington at the time.
You lying tosser!!!!!!!

Nobody would admit going to Bridlington.
 
#14
Start drinking heavily
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#15
Start drinking heavily
You mean he isn't already. He openly admits to admiring little boys genitals. You would have to be pissed to admit that.
 
#16
I know what you mean. I've still got the toffee hammer I used to smash Barbies up with. It hangs at the entrance to the sellar. Keeps me focused on the long-term 'street cleansing' project plan I have. Gotta know where you come from to know where you are going. Ask any screwed up ex-slave and they'll tell you sadly how true that is.
sellar!!! have you thought about doing a spelling workshop anytime soon you dozy tart?

Anyway everyone knows that hot soldering irons, clingfilm and sellotape are required when barbies are to be tormented properly. Or was that hamsters?
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#17
sellar!!! have you thought about doing a spelling workshop anytime soon you dozy tart?

Anyway everyone knows that hot soldering irons, clingfilm and sellotape are required when barbies are to be tormented properly. Or was that hamsters?
You use hamsters? Each to their own I suppose!
 
#18
When I'm really bored I walk into the reception area of the local hospital and ask:

"Is this the right place for admissions?"

Yes they always seem to say..

"It was me!" I say.

It isn't much but it gets me throught the day.
 
#19
Have crack at Muay Thai. I had a chest problem and shite for blood in the space of a couple of years and doing 6 hours a week for 6-8 months has prove dividends in getting fitness back. It's not a 'showy, screaming' type sport but in my exerience it can knack a lot if you don't stay marginally switched on.
 
#20
Crack cocaine is very good, it certainly helps you pass the time. You'll probably pass blood and most of your teeth as well, but time will fly by.
 
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