Chav slapping

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by pompey, Dec 14, 2005.

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  1. Got off a train last night in the middle of the rush hour, people all squashed and shuffling towards the exit when a group of kids came the other way, against the slow moving body of people I was in. The kids (aged 16 ish) stopped as there was clearly no way through, apart from one little chav, or rather more of a rude bwoy, kiss me teeth, you get me, know what I mean, safe, chah type, decided to barge his way through, knocking a few people off balance and pushing forward....coming towards me.
    He knocked past me and before I knew it I turned and tw@tted him round his earhole with my rolled up the crowd stood there open mouthed, he came at me, gave me a shove, shouting and asking why I did it...
    "Coz you've got no fcuking manners!"
    There was a brief stand off as he gesticulated and gave it all the act, I knew I couldn't smack him one and was telling him to do one and grow up and then this huge black security bloke turned up and grabbed the kid who started giving it "Yo blood, what ya doing...." :roll:
    I thought my work was done and turned and many strange stares from the other passengers and surprisingly a bit more room around me as we trudged towards the exit.

    It felt good.
  2. i bet it did.

    bloody good on you for standing up for common sence and decency.

    BTW the cops are after you for child assault and a public disorder offence................................................
  3. Bravo Sir, I feel at peace today, knowing people are fighting back! I hope your newspaper had a free DVD box set taped to it, with sharp edges and all.
  4. Good on yer Pompey, reminded me of the time I grabbed a little scrote off the tube during rush hour after shoving his way through and knocking some poor old biddy off her feet. Heaven forbid you touch someone intentionally on the underground - he sprouted off on one like I had just stuck my finger up his arrse and took exception when he was dumped back on the platform. Good support from Joe Public I'm sure at least one overpaid muppet made the effort to look over the top of their newspaper. It was nice to watch him mouth obscenities as the doors closed and the train pulled away. At least the old dear said thank you.
  5. Well done pompey, it's the only way to deal with these t0ssers.
  6. Thing is, most people take it....everyone did yesterday...probably in fear and the British attitude of 'Don't want to get involved or make a fuss'. I fully expected security to grab me!
  7. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    Well done, one round the ear for the Fratton massive!
  8. Nah, this was up in the big smoke...I'd think twice about cuffing a Pompey kid!
  9. woopert

    woopert LE Moderator

    I had some mates from CINCNAVEUR that included a guy called Jeff Bisirri who was a Navy Seal and built like the side of a house. One the tube at South Ken one day a group of lads started causing trouble on the platform and escaped the guards (who were a bit geriatric) by jumping on as the doors closed. Cue lots of "WHAT THE FUKC ARE YOU STARING AT" and faux-hardness and pushing people around, including jeff's wife who was standnig a few feet away from us. As they started moving towards Jeff he punched one of them square in the face laying him out and grabbed his chav mate by the throat and held him there. When we reached the next station he threw them out onto the platform.

    If more people stood up to scroats like this and did less "shuffling the newspaper" and pretending to ignore it then it would be less of a problem. You dno't even need to be built like a brick sh1t-house like Jeff is as most of them are 10-stone biffs anyway.
  10. Hey! I weigh 10 stone... :cry:
  11. Not condoning senseless violence. BUT.

    How many people these days are really going to snitch you off if they witness you putting paid to some whiny, sideways-talking little sh!t in a fake gold chain? I know I wouldn't.

    "Why no, officer, I didn't see an altercation. I just saw this wannabe rap star attacking this here upstanding member of the Armed Forces for no reason. Would you like to take me down as an eyewitness?"
  12. Well done that man!! (Those Men). Shame it doesn't happen more often.
    Reminds me of a time when I was having a quiet Pizza in one of those pizza places named after a newspaper, when a couple of louts decided to come in and create. :evil:
    The manager came up to them and asked them to leave, but they just gobbed off even more. Next thing, they start to throw food around the place, my missus getting a dough ball in the suede to much laughter and applause from said youths :twisted: . At this point i had had enough and turned into Mr Angry from Purley :twisted: :twisted: . I got up, grabbed them by an ear each and frogged marched them out into the street, where I hurled them ('woughly to the gwond centuwion') giving said ears a twist as I did.
    Got back into the restaurant to a standing ovation and a free meal to boot.....still ended up in court for ABH. :x
    Four months later, got away with it due to the other customers giving evidence on my behalf - close shave tho.... :?
  13. Well done pompey and the others.

    This puts me in mind of an incident in Austria just over two years ago. I was staying in Salzburg with my parents, and we were on our way to Vienna via the train. Being the only member of the family who speaks German, I was up at the counter getting our tickets, when I became aware of a commotion behind me. A group of Austrian schoolkids (about 14 years of age I imagine) were making a bloody nuisance of themselves, and their teacher was making no effort to control them. Austria being a rather staid place, their behaviour was causing a lot of raised eyebrows, but nothing more. It was when they started to repeatedly jump over our luggage - it was sitting on the ground - that I knew a flare up was coming. I could see from my mother's face that she was of the same mind, as she started shooting panicked glances at my father, whom we both knew was about to 'do something about this'. Seeing 'it' coming, I kept my hands by my sides and tried not to grin too obviously. My father - who served in the Irish Army for some 18 years and fought in the Congolese Civil War - at that time was nearing 69, is about 5"8, weighs some 13 stone, but is built like a prop forward. He positioned himself near where the schoolkids were, put his hands in his pockets and shoulder-charged the ringleader who went skidding backwards along the ground on his arse. This little civic disturbance then made the mistake of bouncing up and making for my father, who sent him flying back into our pile of luggage. His mates then gathered round and started gobbing-off in German at my father, whereupon I intervened with what I hope was a parade-ground perfect "HAVE YOU GOT A PROBLEM?!" to which the little chav, looking totally astonished, replied "No, I do not', which elicited a "THEN SHUT THE HELL UP!" from me. By this stage we had a nice little crowd of bemused Austrian onlookers around us, who hadn't probably seen something so interesting since 1945, and my mother was well into the second decade of the Rosary. Anyway the teacher finally remembered her job and hustled the utterly astonished schoolkids away.

    To my mother's dire warnings that my father could be charged with assault he merely replied that he had merely given the 'young gouger' a traditional Gaelic football shoulder charge.

    Come to think of it, that incident was the highlight of the holiday.
  14. Yesterday, in for my swim at the local pool, a group of 14/15 yr olds running round each other and compacted in the foyer, everyone startled.

    One, the boldest , but smallest came rather too close to me, leaning to him i brought up my elbow in to his breastbone, saying , ' Oh, so sorry.'

    'Did you see that'............ someone said.

    Things quietened down , but i kept my balance and one foot free.

    Yours, an old git.
  15. Everyone, out on the streets now! Let's reclaim our country from the oiks! :wink: