Chav safari

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by scrofula, Oct 25, 2008.

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  1. People of a nervous disposition should fcuk right off now because some pictures we may show will actually be of YOUR children.

    Forgive me for whispering, but now I am with a police sniper team, hidden in a village pub miles from the nearest city centre, and they're all sound asleep. If I say anything, except the codeword " Whose round?", apparently a reference to bullets, they may spring into action. The use of of codewords now is all-important. The owner has just warned of terrorist movements by using an international code which I have been assured is now OK to print because it is changed daily' fcuk off you arrsewipes and don't come back". I even have a personal one " As for you, I'll kick yer head in ". Fascinating. THere has obviously been a reaction. In the car park now, I am given a special code word...I can't tell you it all, but one of the words was "off". I'm watching the dust settle now as the unmarked police cars fade into the distance, along with our car as well. We are in for a long wait.....
  2. Best av another pint then
  3. what are you dribbling on about???
  4. on the end of an all night drinking session are we?

    i wonder how long this thread lasts untill its in the......................

  5. Perhaps some kind soul who is good at the Mensa type stuff or even crosswords can re-arrange the original post and re-post it so I can understand it. I hate missing out when things go straight over my head

  6. I'm sorry, that's noo an Ass
  7. I'm really quite offended. Obviously no-one understands the work that goes into sculpting a piece of literature like that. God, what a waste of time. Can someone get me some marmalade, please?
  8. Are you a gentleman Sir?
  9. Being the operative.
  10. Now look, you've nearly made me spill my tea. Gosh, that's almost, how can I put it? Outrageuos?
  11. You are a genuine fcuktard aren't you?
  12. What?
  13. I can't believe I wasted a minute of my life reading that shite. Eat my salty discharge you greasy fcukstick.
  14. W ..hemm hemm, W..hem, W.... Fcuck it Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

    Edited to say, yes, I know it wasn't strictly a wah, it was indeed an attempt to plumb the depths of The Hole. My mum fed me on crisps until I was 10 and her new boyfriend discovered the kebab shop.I am sorry.