Chav neighbour

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by polar, Jul 29, 2006.

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  1. Help!

    Shes becoming a pain in the arrse. Over the years shes thrown animal crap into our other neighbours garden, hurled abuse at others, ripped windscreen wipers off etc
    Last night she was going mental at husband (she does this every time he is at home - he works away alot), then I lit a garden fire and she went mental at me (which ended up with me reporting her to the police for wrenching my windscreen wiper off).
    She has a limit to her criminal activity, which I believe means the police won't take any action. Possibly if they did it'd just make matter worse.

    I reckon we could get rid if she was renting. What options do I have (I've recorded her vandalising her own property to blame others, photos etc)

    How do I get rid of the mong

  2. Engine block, hessian sack, canal.
  3. Shag her?
  4. ha... LEGALLY although other suggestions welcomed
  5. 1 x Tin of lighter fluid

    1 x Box of matches

    1) Insert lighter fluid in her letter box

    2) Strike match and drop in letterbox

    3) whoooosh

    4) Laters bint
  6. Noooo .... The leathality of my sperm would probably give her a chavette
  7. Get your local councillor involved. By all means show him all the evidence you have collected and then tell him the local plod are being unhelpful.

    He is obliged to speak to police and get back to you with a satisfactory solution in a timely manner.

    Or just torch the chav cow.
  8. Set up some video surveilance, just a cam corder would suffice, and record her antics, especially if she is damageing your property.

    The damage she does to her own would probably not count unless it broke a specific law, ie she tampered with the gas or mains or (like one clown did near my rented out property) decided to make a water feature using the canal (The water board thought that was great when the force of water breached the side of the canel!!!!)

    I would ask at the Citizens Advice Bureaugh. Eventually when public opinion becomes loud enough she can be ASBOd to stay away or to move.
  9. Been there, mate, and I know how much it can make ya life hell. Avoid all urges to maim her, it'll just make matters worse. I ended up nearly being charged with aggravated assault after defending myself off our tw*t of a chav scumbag ex - neighbour. These barstewards know the law.

    If she's causing such an annoyance, can you get other people from your neighbourhood to testify your case with the police? The problem here is that they have no powers of eviction, best case scenario is she might change her ways but from the sounds of it she's a rajpot and to expect that would be naive.
    If you live in council owned property, get a petition going, and take that, along with video/photo evidence/diary's of her trouble - causing ways to your local estate office.

    Or talk with her husband, he must be sick of her too and may be quite understanding.

    Good luck mate.
  10. Film everything, but more importantly tell her you're filming everything.

    Just make sure you remember to turn the camera off before you bury the nine-inch kitchen knife deep into her neck.

    It worked for me.
  11. Rent boat for the day (sea going)

    Got to Focus by chickenwire and bricks

    Invite her to a day out on your new sea going boat

    Bang on head, wrap in weighted chicken wire

    Dump overboard

  12. sheldrake

    sheldrake RIP

    One word.


    Remove yourself from direct invovlement, arrange a time and make sure you are in a public place with plenty of reliable witnesses and preferably CCTV.

    It doesn't have to be terminal, just have her wrinkles kicked out.

    New windscreen Wiper - £19.99
    Contract with a shady bloke from the Pub - £200.00
    Satisfaction, peace & quiet - PRICELESS!
  13. press????
    always good for reporting random sh1t
  14. AlienFTM

    AlienFTM LE Book Reviewer

    Go on the internet and find the name and office address of the local constabulary's Chief Constable. (I believe it must be available to you by law. If you cannot find it on the www, try Town Hall or the local Police Station.)

    Go off your trolley at the Chief Constable in your letter (but make sure you remain polite, factual and non-slanderous). Having made your overall point in no uncertain terms, list an appendix of individual episodes (what she did, when you called the Police, what time - if at all - they bothered to turn up, incident numbers - ALWAYS get an incident number - if they are as incompetent as Hampshire Constabulary, see news last month, they will tell you they have seen 4 * 999 calls against your number: when you list a dozen episodes, including one where you have dialled 999 four times in one night, they begin to realise how incompetent they are).

    Make it plain that you have had enough of her criminality and his service's incompetence. They cannot call themselves a Police Force any more because it makes them sound violent. I haven't worked out how come they can call themselves a service.

    At the end of all this, you may not actually get a positive result, in which case you simply continue to bombard the CC.

    I have to point out that I never ever got feedback, though I was lucky to have a Norvern Munkey at the desk when I lodged an official complaint against her for calling me one in the street and telling me to fuck off back up North where I belong, he did take note and if it ever happened again he had enough to slap a restraining order on her.

    She eventually moved out a month or two back. Although the other 196 little chav barstewards on the estate (two killed when their unlit mopeds were coincident in the space/time continuum with a Golf in the middle of the night: poor sod had his paintwork scratched and suffered trauma; another stabbed and killed a fourth: the former is off the streets at Her Majesty's pleasure) are still on the street, it is amazing how quiet it's become since her little darling went and made love somewhere else, observing a regimental pause of "two three".

    Edited to add: If the Police still don't give you the service you demand, you can go to the Police Ombudsman.

    And if the Police fob you off with the local council, never mind, ALWAYS go through the Police and make THEM go to the Council. Just don't allow anyone to sweep it under the carpet.
  15. We had a similar neighbour in JHQ, she was a freakshow. Made my wife's life hell when I was away for 3 months. RMPs not interested, Unit Welfare Officers useless. Sheldrake has got the answer. People have mentioned all the legal moves, councils, CCTV set up, Police and many other ways but let's be honest. They all take time, effort, money and sleepless nights. I promised my wife that if we were ever in a similar situation again I would not make a single complaint therefore not be on record. Instead I would either pay someone to sort the person out or do it myself. Either way there would be immediate satisfaction. As they say, don't get mad get even. Afterall, you have to look out for yourself because no one else will and these chav neighbours only play by their own rules. You have to play by yours.