Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Sorry if these have been done before.

    Q: What do you call a Chav in a box?
    A: Innit.

    Q: What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
    A: Sorted.

    Q: What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
    A: Safe.

    Q: What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
    A: Innuinnit.

    Q: Why are Chavs like slinkies?
    A: They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of

    Q: What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
    A: The bride.

    Q: You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try
    not to hit him?
    A: It might be your bike.

    Q: What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
    A: One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

    Q: What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
    A: What you lookin' at?"

    Q: How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
    A: Paint three stripes on it.

    Q: Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
    A: The police.

    Q: What do you call a Chav with 9 GCSEs?
    A: A liar.

    Q: What do you say to a Chav with a job?
    A: Can I have a Big Mac Please?

    Q: What do you say to a Chav in a suit?
    A: Will the defendant please stand.

    Q: Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
    A: A Nova seats 4.
  2. Good try mate but not funny
  3. What do you call 1000 dead chavs?

    A start.
  4. *grabs coat and calls a taxi*
  5. They weren't funny 20 years ago when Bernard Manning told 'em, substituting 'Chav' with 'N*****'! :roll:
  6. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    A chav walks into the jobcentre.
    walks up to the bloke at the desk, and says 'I'm looking for a job.'
    the bloke at the desk looks at him, and says 'great..... what qualifications do you have?'
    'well, what skills do you have then?'
    'well, have you got any work experience at all?'
    'no, I've never had a job.'
    bloke says 'hmmmm...... well, we have got one position available. no experience needed, no qualifications required.... it pays £100,000 a year to start, eight weeks holiday, you start at ten in the morning, a two hour lunch and you're finished by three. and you dont work fridays. how does that sound?'
    the chav says 'f*** me, that sounds ace.' then he frowns. he says 'hang on, are you taking the p**s?'
    bloke behind the desk says 'well, you started it, you cnut.'
  7. lmao.