CHAV IDENTIFICATION DEVICE

chimera

LE
Moderator
#1
Isn't it great that the Chavs now have to fly those red and white flags from their cars so we can tell who they are.
 
#2
Its all part the EU directive to assist those with challenged hearing.......

Those who are a bit mutton ( I'm quoting from the directive here) will not be able spot and therefore make evasive action as quickly as the rest of us, who use the usual method to spot the Chav motor from distance, the sound of a Crazy frog cd blasting from their souped up Goodman's CD, innit! 8O
 
#3
chimera said:
Isn't it great that the Chavs now have to fly those red and white flags from their cars so we can tell who they are.
that red and white flag being... the Cross of St George? I don't think the Scottish/Welsh/Irish Chavs will be sporting those for some reason. You'll find that the flag is only an indicator of potential chavvyness. If attached to a small hatchback car (about 1 litre engine) with poorly applied graphics/darkened windows/underbody lights/lowered suspension (delete as appropriate) its a pretty good chance you've found your quarry. (its therefore open season, open fire with your shotgun/rifle/howitzer)

The bloke I saw in the petrol station yesterday, who had his chauffer filling the Daimler with super plus, would have considered himself a chav. though he did have lightly tinted windows and a red and white flag.
 
#5
I am a massive footy fan and will be going over to Koln for the Sweden game, but the merchandising is getting right up my chuff. I am p*ssed off seeing it and I am as proud an Englishman as the next man.
 
#6
the_guru said:
I am a massive footy fan and will be going over to Koln for the Sweden game, but the merchandising is getting right up my chuff. I am p*ssed off seeing it and I am as proud an Englishman as the next man.
God help funkin Sweden!! 'The Guru on tour 2006' Watch out bars,women,abba fans........
Be afraid....
Be VERY AFRAID!!! :twisted:
 
#7
Didn't some bright spark work out a couple of years ago, the extra drag from those flags amounts to £5 extra petrol costs per year?
 
#8
Watch out women who look like the birds from Abba ! BTW I don't suppose anyones got a ticket......?????

Probably be better watching it in the square by the Dom anyway with the added bonus of it being right next to the Bahnhof and all those lovely East European laydees...
 
#9
does it matter? as long as we can spot the buggers we can shoot the buggers
 
#10
I'm no chav, and the first chance i get i'm gonna get one for me scooter and me house, I'm English and i love it! so feck ya, bet you think its slightly racist as well don't ya !

chavs are scum and we should be aloud to shoot them however pride in your nation is a great thing so crawl back under your mod rock!
 
#11
I was born and lived in Jockland until I was 16. I then joined up as a Brat and stayed in for almost 24 years. At my reckoning, Scotland 16 yrs, Asia & Africa 3 years, England 28 years, B.A.O.R., 14 years. My doris is English, I live and work in England, I've got the flag of St. George flying on my car. It's not that I give a rats arrse about football, but I did hear that ethnic minorities were complaining about the flags. I am an ethnic minority where I live - anyone thet does not like it can take out their mobile and call someone that gives a sh1t. :lol: :lol:

Edited to say;.......and I'm too old to be a chav!
 
#12
Don't mind the English flag being on show everywhere. But what really gets on my Tits are the ones with ENGLAND written across them. Why FFS? Do we not know what country we are in, or that St Georges cross might belong to Scotland?

Oh I get it its for the colour blind that might think London has been overtaken by Danes or Cornishmen...

I think I'm going to start burning ones with anything other than the plain cross of StGeorge as being offensive merchandising.
 
#13
I am not a Chav. I think. I have shopped in Asda though...

Last time Kev ball became an ever present reminder of the paucity of talent in English foopie, I invested in a Scottish flag for me and an Irish one for the Fenian bride. I fly it on my shed during parties and the like. I also have a papal one in case the pope mobile breaks down at the cross roads...
 
#14
the_guru said:
I am a massive footy fan and will be going over to Koln for the Sweden game, but the merchandising is getting right up my chuff. I am p*ssed off seeing it and I am as proud an Englishman as the next man.
Am I alone in wanting to make an observation of how English the next man is? - going by the pic, anyhow....
 
A

Airmans_Son

Guest
#15
the_guru wrote:
I am a massive footy fan and will be going over to Koln for the Sweden game, but the merchandising is getting right up my chuff. I am p*ssed off seeing it and I am as proud an Englishman as the next man.

Am I alone in wanting to make an observation of how English the next man is? - going by the pic, anyhow....

Trojan, are you referring to the avatar that the_guru has chosen?

Danny John-Jules is just as English as I assume the_guru is.

Or is it the colour of his skin that you're referring to?
 
#16
Chav is an illness and we should make every effort to treat it. Chav mobiles will be exchanged for a volvo 240 estate. Burberry and other chav clothing will be burnt and soon to be ex-chav taken to Marks and Sparks for a wardrobe makeover. Elocution lessons will be given so that they can speak correct English. Lastly their record collections will be confiscated and replaced with such artists as Val Doonican, Roger Whittaker and selected other bland balladeers.

This must be done now! Otherwise we will end up with chav pensioners on tarted buggies tearing round the shopping precincts trying to score with chav grannies with such lines as "oi oi darlin, wanna rub some cream into my piles?" or "Ey darlin, wanna get me 'ands into yer incontinence knickers"

Shudder!

Failing that round them and harvest servicable organs, then gas the lot of them.
 
#17
gundog said:
Chav is an illness and we should make every effort to treat it. Chav mobiles will be exchanged for a volvo 240 estate. Burberry and other chav clothing will be burnt and soon to be ex-chav taken to Marks and Sparks for a wardrobe makeover. Elocution lessons will be given so that they can speak correct English. Lastly their record collections will be confiscated and replaced with such artists as Val Doonican, Roger Whittaker and selected other bland balladeers.

This must be done now! Otherwise we will end up with chav pensioners on tarted buggies tearing round the shopping precincts trying to score with chav grannies with such lines as "oi oi darlin, wanna rub some cream into my piles?" or "Ey darlin, wanna get me 'ands into yer incontinence knickers"

Shudder!

Failing that round them and harvest servicable organs, then gas the lot of them.
Sorry, how old are you?
 
#18
B_G_L said:
Don't mind the English flag being on show everywhere. But what really gets on my Tits are the ones with ENGLAND written across them. Why FFS? Do we not know what country we are in, or that St Georges cross might belong to Scotland?

Oh I get it its for the colour blind that might think London has been overtaken by Danes or Cornishmen...

I think I'm going to start burning ones with anything other than the plain cross of StGeorge as being offensive merchandising.
I claim dispensation for having England written across my flag.

I live in Germany and you would not believe how many people think the Union Flag is the English one.

I have actually been asked by people "What flag is that then" or even worse "Are you part of the Red Cross"* when they see the unadorned small St George flag sticker that I have on the back of my car.

*Honest guvner no word of a lie I have been asked this a couple of times by the locals :roll:
 
#19
Themanwho said:
gundog said:
Chav is an illness and we should make every effort to treat it. Chav mobiles will be exchanged for a volvo 240 estate. Burberry and other chav clothing will be burnt and soon to be ex-chav taken to Marks and Sparks for a wardrobe makeover. Elocution lessons will be given so that they can speak correct English. Lastly their record collections will be confiscated and replaced with such artists as Val Doonican, Roger Whittaker and selected other bland balladeers.

This must be done now! Otherwise we will end up with chav pensioners on tarted buggies tearing round the shopping precincts trying to score with chav grannies with such lines as "oi oi darlin, wanna rub some cream into my piles?" or "Ey darlin, wanna get me 'ands into yer incontinence knickers"

Shudder!

Failing that round them and harvest servicable organs, then gas the lot of them.
Sorry, how old are you?
How old do you want me to be daddy?

The answer will be a sharp pair of fangs in the nads. Unless you own first copy originals then we shall crack open a jug of 'shine and howl at the moon.
 
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