Chat up lines

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by wannabe_civvy, Mar 6, 2007.

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  1. I was laughed at the other week by some fit, but stupid, sl*g. My line was this:
    "Alright? You look like I feel, and I feel f*cking fantastic!"
    What's wrong with a classic line like that? Some women just don't deserve the c*ck!
    Any other favourite chat up lines? Or any funny mishaps when trying to bag off?
  2. Even Brad Pitt would be laughed out of the club with that. Back to the drawing board for you me thinks lol.
  3. The Old one's are the best:

    Grab your coat you've pulled.

    Here's 10pence, call your Mum and tell her you not comming home.

    You're only 13 ! ?....young enough to bleed, young enough to take the seed baby.
  4. Get in the wheelbarrow.
  5. Wanna go halves on a ba$tard?

    You Fancy a fcuk? No? You mind lying down while I have one?

    How do you like your eggs in morning? Fertilised or unfertilised?

    Can I kiss you? No? I supoose a fcucks outta the question then?

    None of the above I would use but make me chuckle.
  6. Like Chicken?......................Then suck this, it's foul!
  7. "So you're in the OTC? I'm in the TA."
    In the sack within 10 minutes!
  8. "It puts the lotion on its skin..."
  9. ''Have you got a mirror in your knickers cos I can see me in em''

    Not wearing them though!
  10. Ha! Almost spilt me brew after picturing someone doing that.
  11. Wannabe, try this mate!

    photo copy (colour) about 30 twenty pound notes.

    make them into a wadd.

    Put your real dosh on the top of the wadd, i recommend tenners so you don't hand over dodgy dosh when pi$$ed.

    Wait until the desired totty best if its a group, stand next to them, order your Stella, whip out your wadd, they will be chatting you up mate.

    There is nothing more attractive to women than money. Guaranteed.
  12. Worked for me in Ireland. Sadly it was real money and the bitch robbed me. I wasn't even flashing it about - she must have been a well practised wallet watcher.
  13. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
  14. Brace yerself
  15. If you'll be the tunnel I'll be the train.