Chat up lines

#1
I was laughed at the other week by some fit, but stupid, sl*g. My line was this:
"Alright? You look like I feel, and I feel f*cking fantastic!"
What's wrong with a classic line like that? Some women just don't deserve the c*ck!
Any other favourite chat up lines? Or any funny mishaps when trying to bag off?
 
#3
The Old one's are the best:

Grab your coat you've pulled.

Here's 10pence, call your Mum and tell her you not comming home.

You're only 13 ! ?....young enough to bleed, young enough to take the seed baby.
 
#4
Get in the wheelbarrow.
 
#5
Wanna go halves on a ba$tard?

You Fancy a fcuk? No? You mind lying down while I have one?

How do you like your eggs in morning? Fertilised or unfertilised?

Can I kiss you? No? I supoose a fcucks outta the question then?


None of the above I would use but make me chuckle.
 
#6
Like Chicken?......................Then suck this, it's foul!
 
#11
Wannabe, try this mate!

photo copy (colour) about 30 twenty pound notes.

make them into a wadd.

Put your real dosh on the top of the wadd, i recommend tenners so you don't hand over dodgy dosh when pi$$ed.

Wait until the desired totty best if its a group, stand next to them, order your Stella, whip out your wadd, they will be chatting you up mate.

There is nothing more attractive to women than money. Guaranteed.
 
#12
sebcoe said:
Wannabe, try this mate!

photo copy (colour) about 30 twenty pound notes.

make them into a wadd.

Put your real dosh on the top of the wadd, i recommend tenners so you don't hand over dodgy dosh when pi$$ed.

Wait until the desired totty best if its a group, stand next to them, order your Stella, whip out your wadd, they will be chatting you up mate.

There is nothing more attractive to women than money. Guaranteed.
Worked for me in Ireland. Sadly it was real money and the bitch robbed me. I wasn't even flashing it about - she must have been a well practised wallet watcher.
 
#13
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
 
#15
If you'll be the tunnel I'll be the train.
 
#16
Post-it pad & a pen.

Out on the piss in Swansea a couple of years ago. Wander up to a lass and draw a x&o's grid. Play a quick game, in silence. Whoever wins, shake hands and walk off. 2 mins later she'll appear "What was that about?" "Hiya, I'm...." :thumleft:

Told a mate a few weeks later in LOndon, obviously didn't believe me. Borrowed pen & paper from barstaff and repeated. :thumleft:
 
#19
Do you like fruit pastilles, bet you cant put that in your mouth without chewing.

Do you like wine gums? Wine yer gums around that.
 
#20
Nice shoes... (pause) Fancy a fcuk?
 
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