Chaps olympics - where are ours?

#2
The annual event is hosted by Chaps Magazine - the bible for traditional gentlemen who are against the vulgarity of modern culture. The opening ceremony includes the lighting of the Olympic pipe.
The annual event is hosted by the Territorial Army- the home for traditional toms who are for the vulgarity of modern culture. The opening ceremony includes the drinking of the Olympic yard of ale.

something to that effect?
 
#3
Event 1: 1500 m for those with no sense of direction. (only officers allowed to enter). Map and compass optional, but bloody pointless.
 
#4
They have a rather basic website. All good tongue in cheek stuff. Had a "Children in Tweed" day a year or so ago. Took tweed jackets, cravats, ties etc. etc. to some awful estate somewhere in N. London and got the chavs to dress up and join in! Apparantly , a good time was had by all!
 
#5
Event 2: Arrse/Elbow identification competition for relay operators. (Event could go on a while and may lead to later events being postponed)
 
#6
Event 3: Open to all - Bounty Hunting. Contestants use bow and arrow whilst chasing around the pay staff at Glasgow and local admin bods
 
#7
Kit monster tab 200m wearing webbing chest rig day sac and bergan at least 2 nonissue smocks each contestant must have at least
gizzit that they have never used and have only vagueist idea how it works .
 
#9
Event 5: Freestyle (relay operators) blaming the kit competition. All teams should include the following in their repertoire -

"Well no-one told me the light had to be on"
"It never did that before"
"Honestly, just before we got you out of bed it wasn't working"
"What you never made a simple mistake"
"How the fcuk was I supposed to know, no-one told me"
 
#10
(In addition to the Event 5 repetoire: "Thats a tech job")

Event 6: Sleeping (Tech only endurance event) longest undisturbed sleep is the winner.

N.B. Concurrent event to run alongside Event 5.
 
#11
Event 7: Senior (over 50s) drunken bezzering. Required elements include:

"Not like the operations we used to get"
"I remember when we used to have parade nights of x hundred turning up"
"Now that was a decent bit of kit not like that new (gun/radio kit/vehicle/clothing not made out of sackcloth)"
"You'll never see the things I have"
And must finish with
"Well no, I wasn't actually technically there, obviously, but I knew some people over there"
 
#12
Event 8: Surreptitious shagging in TAC. Competitiors shag the new recruit bird/bloke of their choice, whilst being hunted by comrades who are absolutely hammered from drinking too much during that weekends lock in. Competitors must be over 35 and married. Shaggee must be hanging and untouchable before 8 pints
 
#14
bazzinho said:
Event 8: Surreptitious shagging in TAC. Competitiors shag the new recruit bird/bloke of their choice, whilst being hunted by comrades who are absolutely hammered from drinking too much during that weekends lock in. Competitors must be over 35 and married. Shaggee must be hanging and untouchable before 8 pints
Extra points if event is caught on video I take it :D bring backs happy days
 
#15
event 9
Public order training
after everybody has drunk plenty get the biggest twat/walt in the building to stand behind an upturned table and then procede to hurl every piece of glass ware at the target points awarded for injurying the idiot biggest explosion points lost for hurling anthing that had any drinkable alcohol left in it
event 10
survial training eat the PSAO's goldfish
 
#16
event 10 - Endurance:

PSIs: see how long you can be in post before you call Op Wideawake.

Ooh, I feel another wiki page coming on...

msr
 
#17
Nice thread. But I must point out, however, that I have never in my life seen such a shower of faux chaps than in those BC webpages linked to at the start. Make a mockery of the whole business of chappery, frankly. I mean, for God's sake, what self-respecting chap competes?

A minion whispers: "BEE bee see pages, sir"

I know what I mean. How long has it been since the Corporation genuinely thought of itself as British, and/or acted accordingly. Eh? EH???
 
#19
Event 11

One for the more savvy TA soldier "Blame passing" Relay. One bollocking to be passed around an entire squadron until it lands back at rest at the youngest recruits door
"it was like that when I got it"
"Don't look at me I was asleep"
"I told him to do it the other way, bloody idiot"
"He obviously wasn't listening"
etc etc etc
 
#20
Event 12 on/off the bus,

who can sprint to it and get on the quickest, then get off and stand around for as long as they can endure before being told to complete another task that will take an hour in 5 mins whilst being shouted at by Snr/ruperts who's engery could be better put to use helping carry out the said task :p
 

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