Chaps olympics - where are ours?

Discussion in 'Army Reserve' started by bazzinho, Jul 14, 2006.

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  1. The annual event is hosted by the Territorial Army- the home for traditional toms who are for the vulgarity of modern culture. The opening ceremony includes the drinking of the Olympic yard of ale.

    something to that effect?
  2. Event 1: 1500 m for those with no sense of direction. (only officers allowed to enter). Map and compass optional, but bloody pointless.
  3. They have a rather basic website. All good tongue in cheek stuff. Had a "Children in Tweed" day a year or so ago. Took tweed jackets, cravats, ties etc. etc. to some awful estate somewhere in N. London and got the chavs to dress up and join in! Apparantly , a good time was had by all!
  4. Event 2: Arrse/Elbow identification competition for relay operators. (Event could go on a while and may lead to later events being postponed)
  5. Event 3: Open to all - Bounty Hunting. Contestants use bow and arrow whilst chasing around the pay staff at Glasgow and local admin bods
  6. Kit monster tab 200m wearing webbing chest rig day sac and bergan at least 2 nonissue smocks each contestant must have at least
    gizzit that they have never used and have only vagueist idea how it works .
  7. Event 4: Obstacle course, must find a way through using as little effort as possible (Techs only)

    N.B. Half assed attempts also acceptable
  8. Event 5: Freestyle (relay operators) blaming the kit competition. All teams should include the following in their repertoire -

    "Well no-one told me the light had to be on"
    "It never did that before"
    "Honestly, just before we got you out of bed it wasn't working"
    "What you never made a simple mistake"
    "How the fcuk was I supposed to know, no-one told me"
  9. (In addition to the Event 5 repetoire: "Thats a tech job")

    Event 6: Sleeping (Tech only endurance event) longest undisturbed sleep is the winner.

    N.B. Concurrent event to run alongside Event 5.
  10. Event 7: Senior (over 50s) drunken bezzering. Required elements include:

    "Not like the operations we used to get"
    "I remember when we used to have parade nights of x hundred turning up"
    "Now that was a decent bit of kit not like that new (gun/radio kit/vehicle/clothing not made out of sackcloth)"
    "You'll never see the things I have"
    And must finish with
    "Well no, I wasn't actually technically there, obviously, but I knew some people over there"
  11. Event 8: Surreptitious shagging in TAC. Competitiors shag the new recruit bird/bloke of their choice, whilst being hunted by comrades who are absolutely hammered from drinking too much during that weekends lock in. Competitors must be over 35 and married. Shaggee must be hanging and untouchable before 8 pints
  12. Great!!! The only event I can enter so means shagging recruits half me age.....
  13. Extra points if event is caught on video I take it :D bring backs happy days
  14. event 9
    Public order training
    after everybody has drunk plenty get the biggest twat/walt in the building to stand behind an upturned table and then procede to hurl every piece of glass ware at the target points awarded for injurying the idiot biggest explosion points lost for hurling anthing that had any drinkable alcohol left in it
    event 10
    survial training eat the PSAO's goldfish