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Channel 5 News tomorrow

#1
Channel 5 just announced that on tomorrrow's show they will be speaking to the soldier who spent 4 months on bomb disposal duties in Iraq.

What is the story? Genuine interesting story, short-toured or a Wedge Walt telling his story.

QMan - please look away at 7pm
 
#4
Herrumph said:
Channel 5 just announced that on tomorrrow's show they will be speaking to the soldier who spent 4 months on bomb disposal duties in Iraq.

What is the story? Genuine interesting story, short-toured or a Wedge Walt telling his story.

QMan - please look away at 7pm
He wont be watching TV, he going to see a couple of dogs! :wink:
 

qman

War Hero
#5
18 hair raising years as Petroleum Operator have left Generals in somewhat of a conundrum. Qman has ensured that cars and stuff get their fuel no matter what.

84 times the father of 1 has taken his life into his own hands to ensure that that the 4* gets through to where it's needed most. He often has to fight his way to the issue point and start the Hamworthys himself.

He is so good at his job, that terrorists on BOTH sides of the RLC divide (Chefs and AT's) have put a price on the head of the slightly balding wrinkly old git.

Now in his action packed book "AT's Chefs Stackers and Trogs" you can read how one Pet Op saved the entire RLC from disaster. A true literary master piece of courage under fire from those he fought for.

Cold urine was staining his pants, Qman was lying in his pit staring at a half eaten kebab with a fag end stuck in the middle and a Lance Jack was at the door of his corrimec relaying the info that Qman had been praying would never come. "Qman, I'm really sorry but there is a tanker on the point and he wants 30 cube". Qman had been on tour for 18 weeks. He'd left behind a wife and child (they weren't his -that's why he left them) he didn't want to go to war, but it was his job and someone had to do it. Bosnia 1998 was no place for cowards and the pressure had been building for weeks.

Now on a fresh September morning all his training would be put the very highest of tests and only he could get himself and his men (and to a lesser extent his women) out of this situation. A tanker with a trog at the wheel had pulled onto the BFI and was demanding fuel. At first everything was ok but then it started to go wrong.

This was his 2718th tanker of the tour. It started out like all the others NSP's QQG's Bond Connect Select etc etc there were smiles all round but everyone knew there was something about this tanker. "It just didn't seem right" said Qman. I knew it, the lads knew it (some of the girls had an idea that something was wrong - but not all them). The issue continued as normal for a while then all hell broke loose.

Someone noticed that the battery isolation switch hadn't cut off the battery as normal. Qman screamed at the lads to take cover. The tanker was stationary on a point on the BFI next to the Fabric tanks which were holding the Army's entire stock of diesel. The tanker had live electrics. This is a situation which would have H&S Reps apoplectic with rage and indignation. 27 cubes of fuel settling on a tanker with live electrics.

The lads had sprinted 300 metres away and were busy emploring the crowd to get their cameras out etc. Qman had a choice he could either walk away and leave it to chance or he could grasp this sitauation by the balls.

Tick followed Tick followed Tock followed Tick (he now has a new watch)(digital mind).

Very slowly he tippy toed his way across the BFI to where the tanker was stood. He now had to make a choice. The consequences of getting it wrong at this stage just don't bear consideration. He could either try the remote cut off or he could try the manual switch on the side next to the battery housing. Qman summed up the sitauation and chose to do something new. An untried method that he was sure would work and work safely. Grabbing a wooden tool box he quickly stood on it to get away from the earth and deftly whipped out his trusty leatherman (which he was wearing on an issue green belt -not his Corps belt) He selected the plier attachment and in particular the wire cutting bit at the start of the jaws. Now all he to do was decide Red or Black? Red or Black? He tried to think what others would do but in the end just did an eenie meenie mynee mo. Red it was.

Exactly 6 hours 34 minutes and 23 seconds Qman had managed to hack his way through the battery cable and rendered the vehicle safe.

He has never been thanked for his efforts and to this day has not even talked about his experiences. Now you can buy the Book and marvel at the in depth descriptions of life as Pet Op in the RLC.

AT's Chef's Stackers and Trogs is available from the Billy Bollox Press for £34.27p
Not just AT' making the papers these days!!!!
 
#7
Outstanding Qman, I always knew you had the balls to pull it off and the modesty to say nothing!!!!

Can I have a signed copy of your book please!!!!
 
#10
qman, Oil AVTUR buy your book, HEL it made me laugh, I don't KERO much it costs!

When DFOC are you going to write a sequel, ISGOTT to make you a wealthy man.

HAZMAT approached you yet from Pen and Sword?


For those who don't know. :wink:

AVTUR = Aviation Turbine Fuel

HEL = Higher Explosive Limit

KERO = Kerosene Military

DFOC = Defence Fuels Operation Centre

ISGOTT = International Safety Guide for Oils Tankers & Terminals

HAZMAT = Hazardous Materials
 
#13
WRAPJOBAGAIN said:
strima said:
WRAPJOBAGAIN said:
Moon_Monkey_Spunk said:
That is class QMAN, I raise a glass of Diesal in respect to your smelly trade, take that ATs!
nobber.
No need for that was there, Bell-End!!!!
every need you tool!!!!!
Did you catch an old and trusted friend ******* your mug today and feel the need to be a keyboard hard bastard to make up for your short comings in the trouser department????
 
#14
strima said:
WRAPJOBAGAIN said:
strima said:
WRAPJOBAGAIN said:
Moon_Monkey_Spunk said:
That is class QMAN, I raise a glass of Diesal in respect to your smelly trade, take that ATs!
nobber.
No need for that was there, Bell-End!!!!
every need you tool!!!!!
Did you catch an old and trusted friend ******* your mug today and feel the need to be a keyboard hard fatherless to make up for your short comings in the trouser department????
if its was my mug. what dos it look like and i will answer your question.
 
B

Bottleosmoke

Guest
#15
WRAPJOBAGAIN said:
Moon_Monkey_Spunk said:
That is class QMAN, I raise a glass of Diesal in respect to your smelly trade, take that ATs!
]nobber.
Please. If you're going to give your 2 pennies worth. I wonder if you could at least have the good grace to at least SPELL IT RIGHT................Knobber.
 
B

Bottleosmoke

Guest
#17
Aaaah. Our little boys all grown up...........................Or not as the case may be.
 
#19
Herrumph said:
Channel 5 just announced that on tomorrrow's show they will be speaking to the soldier who spent 4 months on bomb disposal duties in Iraq.

What is the story? Genuine interesting story, short-toured or a Wedge Walt telling his story.

QMan - please look away at 7pm
Quality :D :D

In no way shape or form an Inferiority complex :roll:
 

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