Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Porridge_gun, Sep 14, 2009.

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  1. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    Some time ago I started shaving my anus, scrotum and armpits.

    This developed into spending all day in a 'Buffalo bill' type stance, with my rod tucked away and hidden (Not because I was ashamed, but because I liked it probing at my own rosebud) Then came cross dressing, applying make up, fingering myself and parking terribly.

    I've decided to come out. I'm not gay, although I do enjoy the company of an educated gentleman with a staff like a pan handle, but from here on in I want to be a lady.

    I demand you all accept me, and I demand you hold doors open for me, grab my arse and make lewd comments about jizzing on my head.

    If anyone has any lady garments, preferably slutty and are 6'3 and size 10.5 in high heels I'd be grateful.

    After this thread:

    I bought these, and have worn them out


    Then came the make up, hair peace and the slaggy outfits.


    Any other party slags out there that like to put on heels and ladies undergarments, do the splits and talk about tapestries and Americas next top model

    Gimme a call, lets hook up and look like someone set about us with a lipstick gun
  2. Thank f uck I'm pissed !
  3. It was on orders at my last unit that we were no longer allowed to go out dressed as women or get naked while on the lash. Boring feckers!

    Tragic how many sets of clothes were binned over the next few days. (I'm a fat midget so none of my stuff will fit you!)
  4. Git yer t*ts oot, girl!
  5. and I've decided masterbating with lube is the BEST, it only takes as long as you want it to be and its controlled
  6. PG, I didn't want to, and it took an enormous amount of effort, but I have just wanked off to your two photos. If one day I meet you at a piss-up I will automatically have one over you.

    In my head you sounded like the tranny in the silence of the lambs. I might go back for seconds tomorrow.

    Edited because in the glow of after wank bliss my grammar went out the window
  7. A hint of a black eye as well, almost perfect. Tease x
  8. Nice kitchen units.
  9. It's only worth shaving your anus if you bleach the * it as well. I've got nothing to do tonight anyway. Give me a call and I'll sort it out for you with a bottle of Asda orginal bleach and a toilet brush.

    It's more esthetic and it'll increase your chances of getting a rim job from one of the guys on here.
  10. Tiles are shite though.
  11. If I was p1ssed....really'd get it PG. Ive done worse. Bit of a miserable looking bint though.
  12. Fcuk,thought I recognised it,that's my kitchen,woke up yesterday with a salty taste in my gob, after taking a stunner home the night before after drinking eleventeen pints of wife beater.And there was a fiver on the pillow. :oops:
  13. Dorothy? I knew it was you at the clinic, you saucy temptress you!
  14. And you need to sort out your split ends.They are a disgrace.
  15. Why is it that TV's can't dress like Hayley from Corrie resembling stifled dowdy librarians with a habit of sensible Laura Ashley twin-sets, instead of slutty garish clothes that would suit a Thai whore or incrediably a Liverpudlian Landlady?

    PG do have you a similary evocative femme name like Raquel, Monique or Jasmina? Or is Shazza or Tracey that flicks your switch? :roll:

    PS. Personally I think the Kitchen is very rustic and looks great, don't listen to those philistines. :D