Celebrity Government

After seeing the mess the present Liabour government has got the country in, which self obsessed celebrities do you think could do the job better and what could they bring to the government? Could Simon Cowell with his straight talking take over from Cyclops Broon? could Jeremy Clarkson walk into the role of Transport Minister? Arrsers, it's over to you :wink:
Chubby Brown as Foreign Sec.....Charles Bronson as Defence Minister....Clarkson for Broons job!!!!
Chancellor of the Exchequer: Carol Vordeman
Lord Chancellor: Ian Hislop
Secretary of State for Defence: Joanna Lumley
Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs: Brian Blessed (just to confuse and scare johnny foreigner)
Secretary of State for Transport: Clarkson obviously
Secretary of State for Wales: Tom Jones
Secretary of State for Scotland: Gordon Ramsey

...and Norman Wisdom for PM, oops my mistake he's already got the job.
Chief Whip: Cynthia Payne
Minister for Women - Geoff Boycott.
Chancellor of the Exchequer = Ken Dodd.
Boris johnson gotta be PM
Clarkson for transport minister
Hammond for road safety minister
Maggie T to commonwealth office
Lumley for MOD
Chubby Brown equality minister
Mr Bean Health & Safety office
Bob Spour media relations office
I'd like to see a Tsarship consisting of James May, the bods from Coast and Timeteam to act as mentors for our schoolchildren. They get me interested in stuff I don't really care about, so no doubt they will get our yooves interested.
We could have the chuckle brothers in charge of immigration, one look at the irritating tw@ts would be enough to convince johnny foreigner to move elsewhere! ;)


Book Reviewer
Freddie Flintoff - Minister for Youth - he sets such a good example
Viscount Rothermere - DWP - he contributes hardly anything in taxes so at least he'd be independent
Lord Ashcroft - Minister for Non Doms
Lord Mandelson - Immigration Minister with special responsibility for South American males
David Beckham - Minister for Education
Hattie Jaques and Joan Sims - Jobshare as Ministers for Health - oooh yess Matron
Rupert Murdoch - Minister for Communications - another tax dodger who can be guaranteed independence
Bono - minister for not giving any more taxpayers' money to foreigners who have nuclear programmes or space programmes
James May - minister for housing - if he can make a garden out of plasticine, he can do anything!


Book Reviewer
This lot should bring about a general improvement, and may even make Labour more electable in the coming elections:

Ronald Reagan - PM
Jade Goody - Culture Minister
Alan Clark - Foreign Secretary
Harold Shipman - Health Secretary
David Caradine - Sports Minister
Bob Kennedy - Northern Ireland Minister
Kurt Cobain - Development Minister
Arthur C Clarke - Science Minister
Fred West - Education Minister
Theo Van Gogh - Communities


Book Reviewer
Jeffrey Archer - Justice Minister
Tony Blair - Prisons Minister (from the INSIDE)


Book Reviewer
James Shortt to run the House of Lords,

and of course the Armed Forces,

and National Security,

and all the Walter Boards.......
Bagpuss and the Mouse Organ should be able to take care of things quite nicely.

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