Caught Staring

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by PlasticCabDriver, Oct 28, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Was having a wander round the supermarket yesterday, when I passed a rather pretty teenager (made up, blond hair, tiny miniskirt etc) and her mum. Pretty though the teenager was, what really caught my eye was mum. Textbook MILF, about 40, shoulder length brunette, blue eyes, very trim, good bod, very nice legs, and a skirt not much longer than her daughters.

    As they went past the old motor function kicks in and I can't stop the head moving round to check out the arse on it. As I do so I lock eyes with mum who has also turned round. Nicked.

    MILF: "Excuse me, do you mind?"
    Me (innocently): "Sorry, do I mind what?"
    MILF: "You can stop staring at her like that, she's only 14!"
    Me: "I'm sorry, you must be mistaken."
    MILF: " No I am not mistaken, you were definitely staring!"
    Me: "Well, sorry about that, but you are mistaken, it wasn't your daughter I was looking at"
    MILF: "Well who were you looking at......" trails off into an embarrassed silence as realisation dawns.

    Even under the make up you could see the blush starting, she then rather mumbles "Well, it's not polite" grabs daughter and rushes off up the nearest aisle. About the funniest thing was seeing the daughter go from dying in the "Mum, you're so embarrassing" kind of way, to pissing herself when she realises that it's her mum being checked out, and she flashed me a cracking smile just before she was dragged off at Mach 1 past the cheese counter.

    And strangely enough I haven't got any pictures.

    And as this is the NAAFI, edited to add:

    And then I did them both in the stockroom. Up the arse.
  2. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    Naafi or not; 14 in the wrong un?
  3. My reply would've been along the lines of,
    "14 ... that may be the case madam, but I'd bet she's seen more stiffs than Quincy"
  4. So why does it feel so right?
  5. I would...was there any booze and snacks in the stockroom? could have partied for a week or more.
  6. At your age more like slept all weekend :)
  7. Don't suppose you clocked a ring on her finger?? She could have been gasping for a proper seeing too after months of no wet fun.

    Thats the only joy of going to the supermarket, the high density of yummy mummy's. Especially if it's a Waitrose or Sainsbury in an ok area. Lidl or Iceland in a shit neighbourhood..........forget about it

    Like that one! Will have to remember that
  8. I've passed my second childhood and am into the adolescent stage. :-D
  9. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I went to a supermarket once.
  10. :applaud::clap: haha I am well behind you

  11. Yes, but did you come away with an urge to resurrect every one of your 50 on line aliases spanning back to 2004, and to start shite threads full of lies? Or did you just leave with the milk you paid for?
  12. Or should that be did he pay for the milk he left with????
  13. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I didn't buy milk. In fact I bought nothing, I didn't realise supermarkets don't sell shovels, lime and black 'n' nasty.
  14. "14 you say? Well tell the little slapper to stop stalking me on line." would have been a reasonable response.

    Although ...

    After a recent dinner function I was outisde having a smoke when a lovely looking milf wanted to talk to me regarding something "delicate" (no it wasn't of a sexual nature nor, unfortunately, an advance). After talking for a few minutes she said; "Do you really have to talk to my breasts?"

    I was about to reply; "You wanted to talk to me, I didn't want to talk to you but I'm happy to chat with your tits" but it just came out as a very meek "Sorry".
  15. I thought this kind of despicable behaviour was tolerated olny in Shrewsbury and other far off mong like localities!