Caught other people shagging...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Airborne_Aircrew, Aug 12, 2007.

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  1. There has to be a few of these from this group.

    What is the funniest time when you caught someone else shagging.

    Mine was on SPTA. There were 3 4 tonners full of us arriving at the DOP, a strip wood that went about 1/2 a mile back off the road with a single track through it. It was about 0700 so you have to figure the place will be deserted.

    We get there to find an apparently deserted estate car with a dog wandering around. We debus and there's nothing quiet about the arrival of 3 4 tonners and their associated troops but there's still no-one about. A couple of guys start playing with the dog when all of a sudden a pair of ankles become visible in the back windows of the car. It all went quiet and the ankles became more and more animated until one bright spark yells out something utterly inappropriate :clap: . The ankles stopped and disappeared and a mans head came just above the frame and went back down. Then, as if she didn't believe him, a female face came up, looked around and the eyes went like dishplates as her head disappeared. You could see frantic activity as they re-dressed... Then they slid into the front seat, started her up and away they went looking the other direction as if there was something really interesting to look at.

    We saw them turn onto the road and start off along it before the brake lights came on and it threw a Uey... Yep, you guessed it... They forgot the dog... Poor little bugger... He was all forlorn looking having tried to chase the car when it left and failed...

    That was the ultimate "drive of shame". Sixty plus squaddies standing there on either side of the track so they can't turn away applauding and cat-calling as they drove up past us, 'cos one of our number was holding the dog by it's collar at the other end of the line, (just so it wouldn't get away, you know ;) ). When they got to the dog the back door was sheepishly opened and the dog jumped in. I swear they were doing seventy back down that track to the road... :D :D
     
  2. Not quite on topic but was home on leave back in the 80's & met up with my ex-bezza who was sp coy 3para. I had a young filly at the time who was gagging for cock & one romantic evening we were getting jiggy when my bezza knocked on the door looking for some booze & blokes night in. Not wanting to feck him off & be a twat i let him in much to the lasses dismay.

    I got my revenge later when he fell asleep with his head next to us while we all watched some shite video. She got my knob out & after smoking the pole & waking the mighty beast she proceeded to jerk me off & sprayed my man fat all over my mates hair. I feckin pissed myself when i saw where she was spraying it & he woke up suddenly with the spatters of jizz hitting his forhead.

    He chased me all over the house & battered me black & blue while i couldn't defend myself cause i was in tears laughing. Couldn't even pull my skiddies up so had a lob on while he was trying to beat me to death. The lass who did the deed was pissing herself too. Still makes my sides ache when i remember it. Told some civvy mates a few years ago at work & you could have heard a pin drop. Miserable fukcers. Don't get a decent story them lot.

    Always used to call him cum 'ead from then on. Poor fucker could never tell anyone why either!!

    pete
     
  3. I once caught a girlfriend of mine shagging my mate.

    I didn't think it was amusing in the slightest. :x

    Hopefully they are both dead now. :twisted:
     
  4. Ex wife and someone who at the time was really good mate in my bed. 8O

    How I laughed. :x
     
  5. A mate of mine caught his best friend shagging his wife.

    I asked him " What did you say to him?"

    " You bad, bad dog" was his reply.................
     
  6. I'm stealing that! :D
     
  7. ladies mile beach akitori(shite spelling) execlent for OP work onto shaggers, doggers, and old saliors knocking one out???!!!???

    will require NVDs
     
  8. So did he...
     
  9. Caught best mate who was on rear party shagging my wife while my young daughter was asleep on couch in front room (about 2years old at the time). Ex best mate ended up re-decorating bedroom with red stuff
     
  10. caught my (then) step-father, oh how i enjoyed telling mum about that cnut. "yes mum while you was away for the weekend, i caught him in YOUR bed with some blonde woman"

    the tw*t is still a 'family' friend, when i say family friend i mean he wont go away. but doesnt like me to much :twisted:
     

  11. and I'd have got away with it, if it wasn't for you pesky kids....
     
  12. not a lot done Tuesday afternoon as couple on flat roof opposite office started shagging in full view :twisted:
     
  13. not a lot done Tuesday afternoon as couple on flat roof opposite office started shagging in full view :twisted:
     
  14. On task in Scotland somewere I recovered a munition that required to be moved somewhere safe to be destroyed. The Police knew of a quarry that was ideal.

    As the 3 Police cars and one Bomb Van entered the quarry we noticed a car having its suspension exercised. They never noticed us until the loud bang of the munition being destroyed and then they only sat up to wave to us.

    Perv No2 wanted to deploy the wheelbarrow to have a closer look.
     
  15. I forgot these two...

    Near Bishops Court in NI is a "lovers layby" that cuts behind a line of small trees and is half way down a gentle hill so you can cruise up to the top of the hill lights out and turn off the engine and do a run through. If there was one there the landrover would be stopped, we'd debus and hit them with the Shark Eyes. We soon discovered that a sixty year old man and his 50ish girlfriend, (and married neighbour), would be there most thursday(?) evenings. I got to the point where the old boy would have bother their ID's out and wouldn't get off...

    But the best was across the road from the local nightclub was a track that went up to a monster statue of Jesus or someone. It was also a well known knocking spot on a Saturday night after the club kicked out. So there's the four rocks, (I wasn't there for this one but a mate was), "patrolling" up there when he hears panting and the like from ahead. Some guy was really going at it... lots of moaning and the like - she's getting really worked up down there in the grass with 4 rocks surrounding her. Someone gives the signal and on come the Shark Eyes and torches. He swears, they were all on for a second, then went off then came back on again - like a perfect double-take... It was a pair of lezzers 69ing like they hadn't eaten in a week... and did they have foul mouths when they got up - not just taste/smell foul either... :rofl: