Caubeen - the whole king stupid episode in 1 thread

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#42
caubeen said:
When my two soldier uncles were plucked from the beach at Dunkirk, they were each allowed one telephone call on arrival back in England.

In a similar situation, whom would you call - and why?

The assumption is either that you call the one who means most in the world to you; or the one who has the means of alerting your family & friends fastest.
Lady Margeret Hackett, naturally.
 
#44
blue_sophist said:
Wench3000 said:
What on earth is going on?
It would appear that someone is going to find a judge at 48 hours notice to address on Monday an internet grievance.
Which is amazing, considering I've just had to wait over a week just to get my brief to send a letter.

Must be his brigadier status wot dun it.
 
#45
Moodybitch said:
blue_sophist said:
Wench3000 said:
What on earth is going on?
It would appear that someone is going to find a judge at 48 hours notice to address on Monday an internet grievance.
Which is amazing, considering I've just had to wait over a week just to get my brief to send a letter.
Must be his brigadier status wot dun it.
Sh1t ... what a good brief. PM his details, that's quicker than most!
 
#46
_Artemis_ said:
caubeen said:
Mods etc - exactitude failure.

My ARRSE membership name is caubeen - all lower case.

Despite which, you and sundy others will spell it with an initial capital.

Which leads me to suspect that you live in Houses, wear Coats, drive Cars and wear Caps.

Slack, intellectually undisciplined tw@ts.
Sorry, Caubeen, what was that?

I thought "sundry" usually had an "r" in it, by the way - does that make you a slack, intellectually undisciplined tw@t as well?
I thought it came after satdy. :?
 
#47
I can see the COunty Court Judges face when handed the summons

Plaintiff: Colin Mckelvie
Defendant: Mighty Doh nut
Address: The internet

Claim: He jumped on the bandwagon when i was outed for being a big fat liar, I was a judge too, with 44 years solicitor experience, I jailed Nelson Mandela and disguised myself as Ranulph Fiennes prosthetic toe for an expedition.... to jupiter I live there, have done for 40 years, I own third moon

Sorry judge I digress...... can you tell him off and get him to pay me and tell some lies on my behalf on arrse so I don't look half the lying tit I am
 
#48
Post the fibs here so they can be caalogued and added to the WIKI for safe keeping.
 
#49
minister_doh_nut said:
I can see the COunty Court Judges face when handed the summons

Plaintiff: Colin Mckelvie
Defendant: Mighty Doh nut
Address: The internet
Case dismissed ... Defendant can't even remember his own user-name. :p
 
#50
I forgot I'd become ordained
 
#51
Well this one for Starters:

caubeen said:
Darling lads of lusty valour and stylish swank!

'Tis high time to inform all on ARRSE that I am no connection of Lt (retd) C. L. McKelvie, late the RBAI CCF and sundry vigins of that and adjacent parishes.

I am a humble retired Brigadier of Irish infantry, ekeing out my pecunious pension amid pals on ARRSE and looking forward to the fishing season in the UK.

Now - the Bushmills decanter is alarming low in level. Mulligan!!??
 
#53
Well this one got me interested

Caubeen wrote
Unlike your good self, I do not post as fact anything on ARRSE that I am not satisfied is the truth - be it about RF, Nairac, Jones VC or Collins, all of whom happen to have passed my way in a long and interesting service career.
 
#54
This puzzled me, as a Bisley person ....

And the Puxleys, the Anglo-Irish family in Knaphill?
The Pugsley family are well known ...

and ...

And the station hotel bar in Brookwood, the World's Worst Pub.
... even Pirbright trainees avoid that one. Brigadier at Bisley knows anything about it? I don't think so. The Cricketers on a bad day, the Royal Oak more likely ...
 
#55
minister_doh_nut said:
Perhaps one of the site wordsmiths can write something up for the Wiki....

Caubeen the walting Brigadier should go down in Arrse history...

For what its worth, I've called the firearms unit, Mr Mckelvie is an avid hunter it would seem and probably have access to firearms. If stored at this address (the one where the Orange phone number is registered too) I am concerend that firearms may have fallen into the wrong hands.. For this I am sure Mr Mckelive will be grateful and may thanks us here at Arrse for preventing something sinister

Better to air on the side of caution....... :D
If you get them confiscated, how will he do himself in?
 
#56
This is a whopper!


caubeen said:
Simple.

CC CCF 1964-68.

Regular Commission 1979, after postgraduate degree.

Retired in the rank of Brigadier in 2005.

Now in a MOD-linked consultancy on multinational ops which classification precludes me from divulging.
 
#58
Moodybitch said:
This is a whopper!
caubeen said:
Simple.
CC CCF 1964-68.
Regular Commission 1979, after postgraduate degree.
Retired in the rank of Brigadier in 2005.
Now in a MOD-linked consultancy on multinational ops which classification precludes me from divulging.
So, I don't have a copy of the Army Retired List ... only Light Blue one. Can't be that many Brigs who retired in 05 ... over.
 
#59
WITHOUT PREJUDICE...

Mmm, what's all this 'public domain' stuff then (and why hasn't anyone else posted it? (or maybe they have and I've missed it))...

Colin McKelvie (traquai@aol.com), August 19, 2002.

Traquai email address been used on ARRSE until v recently (currently tgarth - see below)... Oh, and look who lives at Traquai House...

COLIN McKELVIE,
Traquai House,
Culbokie, Ross-shire IV7 8JY.
July 12 2004

tgarth (the Brigs current ARRSE email)



... belongs too... Colin!!

March 05
JPJ PORTRAIT COLLECTION

I am a Scottish-based researcher and I am looking into the surviving portraits of JPJ, especially those that were done in his lifetime or shortly after his death. I note with great interest the 15 portraits shown on your web site, and I wonder if you can put me in touch with the owner(s) of this collection. I shall be extremely grateful for your advice and assistance.
COLIN McKELVIE
Tgarth@aol.com

Is this the Brig, or is it Colin, or is it Colin the Walt Brig!!



As for C L McKelvie, C is for Colin (oy, oy, don't go jumping the gun, 'C' is for Colin...), could the L be for liar, larceny, libel... who knows!!

I wonder if The Field (that august organ of the officer class) know just who they have writing for them - assuming he hasn't been dismissed for Walting there too, or tardyness...

A Review of Hitler & Churchill;

‘Andrew Roberts’s stylish, analytical and often unexpectedly amusing study of these two adversaries is a brilliant and highly readable demonstration of how Hitler and Churchill’s seemingly very different forms of greatness exhibited shared elements. Often, glorious humour leaps from the fascinating illustrations that so enliven and illuminate the author’s text. With Roberts’s light and elegant touch, and gimlet-sharp perceptions, this book is not to be missed.’

Colin McKelvie, The Field


How to spend a fortune on a best side-by-side

Money no object? Follow Colin McKelvie’s advice on how to spend, spend, spend.

So, deer(sic) Walt hunters, the case for the prosecution...
 
#60
cpunk said:
Done. No former Irish infantry Brigadiers are listed as retiring in between Jan 2005 and April 2006.
 
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