Cats. Feline funnies and other stuff.

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Evenin' all. An enjoyable eveing it has not been as I have a colonoscopy tomorrow and have thus had to take something to loosen the bowels.

While I was donating the contents of my stomach to the local sewerage system, the door creaked open (having not had time to close it before the quacking of my guts turned into full flow) and there was the b@stard cat staring at me. With something that looked suspiciously like a smirk on her calico face.

I have informed her that finding my situation amusing will result in immediate withdrawal of rations. As she's a cat she will naturally ignore me and find another way to wind me up.

Ruddy cats!
 

Slime

LE
Evenin' all. An enjoyable eveing it has not been as I have a colonoscopy tomorrow and have thus had to take something to loosen the bowels.

While I was donating the contents of my stomach to the local sewerage system, the door creaked open (having not had time to close it before the quacking of my guts turned into full flow) and there was the b@stard cat staring at me. With something that looked suspiciously like a smirk on her calico face.

I have informed her that finding my situation amusing will result in immediate withdrawal of rations. As she's a cat she will naturally ignore me and find another way to wind me up.

Ruddy cats!

Well done to the cat.
Sounds like she needs extra treats for getting one up on you :)
 

Londo

LE
Evenin' all. An enjoyable eveing it has not been as I have a colonoscopy tomorrow and have thus had to take something to loosen the bowels.

While I was donating the contents of my stomach to the local sewerage system, the door creaked open (having not had time to close it before the quacking of my guts turned into full flow) and there was the b@stard cat staring at me. With something that looked suspiciously like a smirk on her calico face.

I have informed her that finding my situation amusing will result in immediate withdrawal of rations. As she's a cat she will naturally ignore me and find another way to wind me up.

Ruddy cats!
Good luck tomorrow with the probe
 
Evenin' all. An enjoyable eveing it has not been as I have a colonoscopy tomorrow and have thus had to take something to loosen the bowels.

While I was donating the contents of my stomach to the local sewerage system, the door creaked open (having not had time to close it before the quacking of my guts turned into full flow) and there was the b@stard cat staring at me. With something that looked suspiciously like a smirk on her calico face.

I have informed her that finding my situation amusing will result in immediate withdrawal of rations. As she's a cat she will naturally ignore me and find another way to wind me up.

Ruddy cats!
Hope it's all ok tomorrow
 

Slime

LE
Evenin' all. An enjoyable eveing it has not been as I have a colonoscopy tomorrow and have thus had to take something to loosen the bowels.

While I was donating the contents of my stomach to the local sewerage system, the door creaked open (having not had time to close it before the quacking of my guts turned into full flow) and there was the b@stard cat staring at me. With something that looked suspiciously like a smirk on her calico face.

I have informed her that finding my situation amusing will result in immediate withdrawal of rations. As she's a cat she will naturally ignore me and find another way to wind me up.

Ruddy cats!

Forgot to add, god luck with the probe…………..
But avoid watching the film ‘Fire in the sky’ until after you’ve had it done :)
 
Good luck tomorrow with the probe
Cheers matey. Not exactly looking forward to it. My old man had a bowel cancer scare earlier this year, and given it tends to be inherited I thought I'd get checked out just in case.

Anyway....

 

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
I have a colonoscopy tomorrow

It will go well tomorrow I can assure you.
Let's just hope the results are totally acceptable.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
Ginge is feeling the toll of the collar of shame, he can't sleep properly and 2 of the other cats are scared stiff of him, one is a little wary and one just follows him around, washing him as soon as he stops as obviously he can't.
20210723_214442.jpg
 

tiv

LE
Evenin' all. An enjoyable eveing it has not been as I have a colonoscopy tomorrow and have thus had to take something to loosen the bowels.

While I was donating the contents of my stomach to the local sewerage system, the door creaked open (having not had time to close it before the quacking of my guts turned into full flow) and there was the b@stard cat staring at me. With something that looked suspiciously like a smirk on her calico face.

I have informed her that finding my situation amusing will result in immediate withdrawal of rations. As she's a cat she will naturally ignore me and find another way to wind me up.

Ruddy cats!
Bin there and it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Got tea and biccies when ir was all over.

Hope it goes well.
 

PFGEN

GCM
Evenin' all. An enjoyable eveing it has not been as I have a colonoscopy tomorrow and have thus had to take something to loosen the bowels.

While I was donating the contents of my stomach to the local sewerage system, the door creaked open (having not had time to close it before the quacking of my guts turned into full flow) and there was the b@stard cat staring at me. With something that looked suspiciously like a smirk on her calico face.

I have informed her that finding my situation amusing will result in immediate withdrawal of rations. As she's a cat she will naturally ignore me and find another way to wind me up.

Ruddy cats!

Had one of these last year. Wheeled in and the spelunker introduces himself in a German accent. Every film I'd ever seen about zee chermans extracting information under torture flashed through my mind. He then asked mr what music I'd like to listen to in order to relax. I suggested he chose something that made him relax!

Anyway it was quite an interesting experience looking at my guts on a 52 inch high def screen. The colonic assault provided by the little pills and litres of gut cleaner had left everything squeaky clean. It was a bit like watching one of the old Jacques Custard films. Here we zee a little lump in its natural environment. We approach gently so as not to disturb him and then knack him with tongs to investigate later. Said deep colon mollusc turned out to be a left over bit of cheese.

All that is just to say don't worry and enjoy the surreal experience. The bowel loosening before hand was by far the worst part.
 
Had one of these last year. Wheeled in and the spelunker introduces himself in a German accent. Every film I'd ever seen about zee chermans extracting information under torture flashed through my mind. He then asked mr what music I'd like to listen to in order to relax. I suggested he chose something that made him relax!

Anyway it was quite an interesting experience looking at my guts on a 52 inch high def screen. The colonic assault provided by the little pills and litres of gut cleaner had left everything squeaky clean. It was a bit like watching one of the old Jacques Custard films. Here we zee a little lump in its natural environment. We approach gently so as not to disturb him and then knack him with tongs to investigate later. Said deep colon mollusc turned out to be a left over bit of cheese.

All that is just to say don't worry and enjoy the surreal experience. The bowel loosening before hand was by far the worst part.
I probably shouldn't be laughing, certainly not as much as I am, it was the leftover piece of cheese that finally did it. Thank you, i needed that
 
Cheers matey. Not exactly looking forward to it. My old man had a bowel cancer scare earlier this year, and given it tends to be inherited I thought I'd get checked out just in case.

Anyway....

Had one of these last year. Wheeled in and the spelunker introduces himself in a German accent. Every film I'd ever seen about zee chermans extracting information under torture flashed through my mind. He then asked mr what music I'd like to listen to in order to relax. I suggested he chose something that made him relax!

Anyway it was quite an interesting experience looking at my guts on a 52 inch high def screen. The colonic assault provided by the little pills and litres of gut cleaner had left everything squeaky clean. It was a bit like watching one of the old Jacques Custard films. Here we zee a little lump in its natural environment. We approach gently so as not to disturb him and then knack him with tongs to investigate later. Said deep colon mollusc turned out to be a left over bit of cheese.

All that is just to say don't worry and enjoy the surreal experience. The bowel loosening before hand was by far the worst part.
This piece of advice sums the experience up perfectly.

You'll be fine.
 

Londo

LE
Cheers matey. Not exactly looking forward to it. My old man had a bowel cancer scare earlier this year, and given it tends to be inherited I thought I'd get checked out just in case.
Yup ! Just to be checked and be on the safe side .
It's not pleasant but not painful .
When I had about four years back they just had to snip a couple of small polyps and all was well .
 

Londo

LE
Had one of these last year. Wheeled in and the spelunker introduces himself in a German accent. Every film I'd ever seen about zee chermans extracting information under torture flashed through my mind. He then asked mr what music I'd like to listen to in order to relax. I suggested he chose something that made him relax!

Anyway it was quite an interesting experience looking at my guts on a 52 inch high def screen. The colonic assault provided by the little pills and litres of gut cleaner had left everything squeaky clean. It was a bit like watching one of the old Jacques Custard films. Here we zee a little lump in its natural environment. We approach gently so as not to disturb him and then knack him with tongs to investigate later. Said deep colon mollusc turned out to be a left over bit of cheese.

All that is just to say don't worry and enjoy the surreal experience. The bowel loosening before hand was by far the worst part.
In my case the fluid I had to take to clear my guts did not work so good thing I was on a low residue diet at the time .
Anyway after my little rest as I was called in for a little debrief and tea and biscuits I felt an urgent need for a huge fart so asked them to wait while I used the loo as I didn't want to pass wind during our little chat .
Good thing I did as I sat on the pan and never ever have I had an ass explosion like it .
I won't say I filled the pan but wasn't far off it .
That was a very near miss that day .
 
In my case the fluid I had to take to clear my guts did not work so good thing I was on a low residue diet at the time .
Anyway after my little rest as I was called in for a little debrief and tea and biscuits I felt an urgent need for a huge fart so asked them to wait while I used the loo as I didn't want to pass wind during our little chat .
Good thing I did as I sat on the pan and never ever have I had an ass explosion like it .
I won't say I filled the pan but wasn't far off it .
That was a very near miss that day .
One for the ShartRep thread!
 

Londo

LE
One for the ShartRep thread!
Not seen that thread before . Thanks I'll have to have a read .
But honestly it was a good thing I did visit the bog or I would have not only needed a new pair of shreddies but trousers , socks and shoes too . Plus the hospital staff would have needed a new office .
 
Had one of these last year. Wheeled in and the spelunker introduces himself in a German accent. Every film I'd ever seen about zee chermans extracting information under torture flashed through my mind. He then asked mr what music I'd like to listen to in order to relax. I suggested he chose something that made him relax!

Anyway it was quite an interesting experience looking at my guts on a 52 inch high def screen. The colonic assault provided by the little pills and litres of gut cleaner had left everything squeaky clean. It was a bit like watching one of the old Jacques Custard films. Here we zee a little lump in its natural environment. We approach gently so as not to disturb him and then knack him with tongs to investigate later. Said deep colon mollusc turned out to be a left over bit of cheese.

All that is just to say don't worry and enjoy the surreal experience. The bowel loosening before hand was by far the worst part.
Interesting. Over here it’s usually done with a general (propofol) and you just wake up in the recovery room.
 

Londo

LE
Interesting. Over here it’s usually done with a general (propofol) and you just wake up in the recovery room.
Here you can have that option if you really need it .
Bloke that was after me came out asleep . The softy .
 

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