Army Rumour Service

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Cats. Feline funnies and other stuff.

TamH70

MIA
I think it was Shadow who thought that way until he had a painful and sharp reminder of the perils of trying to muscle in on a feeding hedgehog. None of the others ever tried

A cat, after all, only has five bits that are pointy and sharp. A hedgepig has a lot more.
 
I'm saying nowt, that woman I'm married to is now leaving bowls of cat food out for the family of hedgehogs that have moved into the garden!
You might as well get it tattooed on your forehead...
 

Penguin142

War Hero
So glad I'm not a surgeon.
127449867_3489934017711136_7292778240159539487_n.jpg
 
You might as well get it tattooed on your forehead...
Luckily, it's the food these two fussy buggers turn their nose up at, so it's not getting wasted. It's bad enough with the small fortune she spends on wild bird food and fat balls for the garden. The bottom path and fence is covered in bird crap. I've told her don't expect me to clean it or waste my time repainting the fence! ;)
 
Luckily, it's the food these two fussy buggers turn their nose up at, so it's not getting wasted. It's bad enough with the small fortune she spends on wild bird food and fat balls for the garden. The bottom path and fence is covered in bird crap. I've told her don't expect me to clean it or waste my time repainting the fence! ;)
AY-EDNDBcS2tkokgVIttr61C5RhtpZzLvuiFl0e3c5LMxXUtNE0APtahEmLiJ764jIr3wp8qWZqG6kRwFZp_WWL9iwg2Cd9qKxxEhWi2STqWe0daCuqck2ltAk9fj967Vl-VqrlxfQ
 
cat quarantine.jpg
 

fv1620

Old-Salt
I'm the king of the castle!

IMG_20201128_170425a (Medium).jpg
 
Pet Diaries----------
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
* 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
* 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
* 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
* 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
* 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
* 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
* 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
* 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
* 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
* 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite
thing!
* 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow --but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...
 

Latest Threads

Top