Or, "If you were my girlfriend, I'd let you".
Hi Boss, for someone who told that freeloading female to never darken your door again, you don't half feed her well, and take some nice photo's, you big softy, good man.
Boss, you are full of shit. Like me you are probably a big ugly bugger, who talks the big man, but when it comes to cats, (pets), you can't say no. I am putty around our black furry git.The wife fed her, I just happened to walk in the kitchen phone in hand when I heard the wife talking nice to something, I knew it wasn't me!