Catching out officers

ugly

LE
Moderator
#1
We had a new OC for our stint in the Falklands in 85, he was due to command rear party as he was about to retire but was badly fitted up as our "Warry" OC went sick. He commanded QRF coy at Kellys Garden and used to have the new PLCE kit as we had it on trial and we reckoned he carried nothing. Anyway, drill on deployment from wockas was to drop bergans in a line whilst the mortar section set up baseplates. One of Mortars moved the OC's pack and found it only contained a maggot and bivvy bag. We carred on with the QRF ex and on return to the mortar line to collect packs we all ran down and grabbed whilst running onto the ramps. OC who was a short fecker (lovely bloke though) ran as fast as his little LI legs would carry him, scooped up his bergan one handed and promptly went on his arrrsse as Mortars had filled it with FOB rocks.
Laugh not much!
Did he react? Not much he could do really. He was felled as if the pack was nailed to the floor.
 
#2
As long as he laughed about it afterwards at the bar, he'd be ok in my books
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#3
in_the_cheapseats said:
As long as he laughed about it afterwards at the bar, he'd be ok in my books
Oh and he bought a round!
 
#4
Similar thing happened in my lot: two sub-units due to take part in a big Bde para jump. One Maj - too busy with admin to get his kit ready - chucks his bergan and para kit at the boys and tells them to sort his container out.

BIG mistake.

Because its a sim-45, the next time he sees his bergan is in the herc when he has to "stand up and fit equipment". Because he has also pulled rank and blagged the No1 slot, his bergan doesn't have to be passed down the a/c. First clue he has is when he's clipped it to his harness and tries to stand up..... he's still struggling when the "green" comes on, and the PJIs shove him out the door.

No kidding, he was on the ground before Nos 2 and 3 had their chutes open....... something to do with the four paving slabs and two Bedford clutch plates that had been squeezed into the bergan, along with all of the diving weights from the Regt's sports kit..... LOL
 
#5
ugly said:
in_the_cheapseats said:
As long as he laughed about it afterwards at the bar, he'd be ok in my books
Oh and he bought a round!
Bought a round - on the rocks I hope - LOL.

BT. :lol:
 
#6
4(T) said:
Because its a sim-45, the next time he sees his bergan is in the herc when he has to "stand up and fit equipment". Because he has also pulled rank and blagged the No1 slot, his bergan doesn't have to be passed down the a/c. First clue he has is when he's clipped it to his harness and tries to stand up..... he's still struggling when the "green" comes on, and the PJIs shove him out the door.
Strange how it wasn't discovered on the chalk parade which he must have been on along with his container. Then again, never let the truth get in the way of a good story!!
 
#7
Not sure I would mess with a man's gear after the JMPI was performed... probably not even before hand.

Anyway... do have a story about a ruck getting heavier although the victim was an NCO. In a US Army scout platoon the PL and PSG carry radios as well as having RTO's with them. This way they can keep tabs on multiple nets and talk to disparate elements.

SFC J., an infamous charictor in many of my tales as he was so unique, actually enjoyed ruck marching up and down the yamas in the ROK with his but the poor SPC L. who trailed behind him as his RTO was less enthusiastic about the pace. One day the young troopie got the brilliant idea of slowing his nemesis down by transferring all of his batteries to J's ruck. No dice... the man kept moving at the same rate of speed so he added rocks when the opportunity presented itself. Apparently the gesture was done in vain as the good SFC never wavered.

At the end of the end of the field problem we returned to the lovely Camp Greaves super-hooch barracks and Sergeant J. puttered off to his room to unpack. A bellow of rage then resonated throughout the building... which brought all of his squad and team leaders running. Upending his ruck he proceeded to dump six magnesium batterys, dozens of rocks, a lump of twisted metal debris, and a filled sandbag on to the floor! All of the junk had been put under his gear in the ruck so as to escape discovery by SPC L.

Needless to say, retribution was swift and our poor downtrodden specialist found himself performing an extensive PT session that evening until SFC J. was tired...
 
#8
We did it to our CSM at Brecon. I think it was somewhat overdone though as I recall that he spotted it fairly soon!
 
#9
Did it to one of my toms about 8 years ago-10 Lbs of weight,plus 320 ect,ect.He jumped with it,Tabbed with it and i only told him about it about 100 metres from our target.Oh how he laughed!
Saw the lad recently (now wears black tape over his eyes)
He hasnt forgotten....
 

untallguy

Old-Salt
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#10
I must confess to having been caught whilst an Offr Cdt at Sandhurst.

Having packed my bergan for final ex, I put it in the Pl pile for loading on the 4-tonners, not intending to see it again until Germany.

On arrival in Germany, added all the additional kit need for the insertion (radio bits, jerricans etc) that my Sect had been given and cracked on.

Spent the next nine days walking up hill and down dale and feeling knackered from Day One. Not until Day Nine, when we got some serious personal admin time in, did I discover the 10kg of free weights in the bottom of my bergan liner - cue much laughter from the guys who had been loading bergans on to 4-tonners 10 days earlier.

At a recent reunion, the story was still getting told - barstewards!
 
#12
Worry not - I seem to remember a similar dit Final Exercise in sunny Cyprus. We had not seen our bergens for any length of time since leaving RMAS, and had just tabbed in to first harbour. Scratching a bit of a sangar out of the dust, my oppo and I were in hysterics at the swearing coming from the next position.....

No one had made his bergen particularly heavier, but they had added a breville sandwich toaster and electric kettle to it!!!!!!
 

The_Duke

LE
Moderator
#13
Filled a blokes container with a couple of industrial sized tins of sliced carrots before a jump. He wondered why the rest of the blokes kept going on about favourite vegetables, how much they liked carrots etc.
 
#14
Ugly, was that the 1st 1/2 of 85 with a Welsh mob? If so I know the OC you're talking about - yes indeed, a nice chap. Happy memories of Kelly's garden, particularly winding up the wokkas crew.
 
#15
Someone stitched me on a promotion cadre,
medium sized rock hidden at the bottom of my bergan, under the liner
as if my 320 wasnt heavy enough!
 
#17
Walked up Ben Macdui one very hot September day many years ago (I was a Cpl at the time). Having finished our ascent we all relaxed in a sweaty heap to enjoy the views and I handed out cans of beer which were gratefully received by the blokes. Pl comd said words to the effect that I must be clinically insane to have humped a dozen cans of beer up the hill. "I didn't, Sir, you did. I popped them in your bergan before we set off"

Got the idea from the film "The Eiger Sanction" Worked a treat.
 
#18
Did it to a Sgt by the name of L*s Wa*lw**k on optag in 2000 whilst I was at 156 Pro Coy. He had walked round all day carrying a bergan and then I got the idea when I saw it left on its own whilst soft sh*te was getting a burger. After a bit the coaches came to pick us up and L*s made a run for for them whilst trying to sweep up his bergan whilst still running, how much did we laugh when he went arrse over t*t then stood back and looked at his bergan and wondered why it was so heavy. Being the unit joker at the time he knew it me, I denied all knowledge of course.
 

chrisg46

LE
Book Reviewer
#19
Did it to a pc many moons ago, except it wasnt a brick, or weight exactly. It was one of the yellow flashing lamps that you put on obstructions in the road, that flash automatically as it gets dark. Put it away that morning, wrapped securely in the sleeping bag. That night, secure in our harbour area, boiss gets his dossbag out and proceeds to illuminate the area...
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#20
charleyb said:
Ugly, was that the 1st 1/2 of 85 with a Welsh mob? If so I know the OC you're talking about - yes indeed, a nice chap. Happy memories of Kelly's garden, particularly winding up the wokkas crew.
Sorry Charley but it was us that relieved the Welsh boys!
 

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