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Cat

#1
My better half (future Mrs DMTW) has just been ripped off by a Waynetta Slob-like person who had agreed to sell her a cat, taken a £50 deposit from her and then reneged on the deal.

In keeping with the fantasy genocide post of late how would the good people of ARRSE-land suggest this inexcusable act be punished?
 
#2
Hmm, this is a genuine post (but I'm prepared for the piss taking).

Why don't you save money and do the honourable thing and get a cat from a rescue such as Cats Protection

You know it makes sense.

For those of you that know me. See, I do have a caring side.
 
#3
DontMentionTheWar said:
My better half (future Mrs DMTW) has just been ripped off by a Waynetta Slob-like person who had agreed to sell her a cat, taken a £50 deposit from her and then reneged on the deal.

In keeping with the fantasy genocide post of late how would the good people of ARRSE-land suggest this inexcusable act be punished?
Shame she's a slob - you just won't get your money back. If she was attractive you could have gone round and threatened to take it out on her pussy!
 
#5
PotYos said:
Hmm, this is a genuine post (but I'm prepared for the urine taking).

Why don't you save money and do the honourable thing and get a cat from a rescue such as Cats Protection

You know it makes sense.

For those of you that know me. See, I do have a caring side.
I tried adopting a cat from one of these places once. What with home checks, stipulations about facilites for potential mog, being bounced around to the 'appropriate cat place for my postcode', questions about lifestyle etc, it just fizzled out into nothing and I gave up. It wasn't as if I I was adopting an orphan from a country in Africa....
 
#7
Report the breeder to the RSPCA.

If she is a slob and breeding for money chances are shes a pikey and wont be allowed to keep the cat, then jsut follow hte can to the rescue centre and (as a favour) claim it before they have to do the paperwork!
 
#8
Top tip there Pillager - hadn't thought of that. It's certainly a pikey with a wee flat in W London and the cat caged in a bedroom. Not really a particularly pleasant location for cat hatching (they come out of eggs, right?).
 
#9
I got a mog from the Blue Cross. Mrs MW had set her heart on a grumpy-looking bugger just from the photo and description on the website. We went to "have a look" at him, and went home with him the same day. Very relaxed, they could tell we weren't mongs or fast food shop owners. Give them a bell, top people. They even insure it for you for 6 weeks.

Edited to add: Blue Cross website is http://www.bluecross.org.uk/web/site/home/home.asp
 
#10
milsum said:
I tried adopting a cat from one of these places once. What with home checks, stipulations about facilites for potential mog, being bounced around to the 'appropriate cat place for my postcode', questions about lifestyle etc, it just fizzled out into nothing and I gave up. It wasn't as if I I was adopting an orphan from a country in Africa....
Battersea Dogs Home (yes they do cats as well) couldn't have been more helpful. For £40 we got a cat, some free pet insurance, starter packs of food and access to an advice line (which we never needed but was handy to have).

They also took time to set us up with the right sort of cat (ie one that didn't need a garden) and they did such a good job she's now taken over the running of my flat!
 
#12
Firebomb the slobs gaff then as all the cats stream out of the house round them up and shove 'em in your car.

Your Mrs can keep the one she wants and you can sell the rest to help pay vets bills.

Put me down for one. Can never have enough cats.
 
#14
I despise lying, conniving cheats and sincerely hope the skiprat gets her comeuppance and the poor wee moggy finds a decent home with you or someone else. :evil:

If you are thinking of adopting from a rescue centre then maybe peruse these people Foal Farm. Having had first hand experience of them I can vouch for their no-nonsense professional approach. You can view the beasties available on line too and Biggin Hill is barely a hop and skip from London.
 
#16
Attracted to this thread by Pillagers use of the word Pikey. Take a deep breath and . . . . one flame thrower, one scrap-yard crane with big magnet on the end of the dangly bit . . ring doorbell, when she emerges, turn on magnet . . evil pikey cat breeder (being covered in chav jewellery) will then stick to it. Waggle crane about a bit and bump magnet/pikey against wall/caravan then gently play flame thrower over said miscreant until browned, turning every few minutes for even colour, using brush and dust-pan collect ashes of said pikey and sprinkle on flower beds . . and breath out.

Cats are good. Dogs are good too. Sneaky cheating chav cat-breeding scum are bad. Get new cat from 'Cats R Us'. Problem solved.
 
#17
ericthellama said:
Attracted to this thread by Pillagers use of the word Pikey. Take a deep breath and . . . . one flame thrower, one scrap-yard crane with big magnet on the end of the dangly bit . . ring doorbell, when she emerges, turn on magnet . . evil pikey cat breeder (being covered in chav jewellery) will then stick to it. Waggle crane about a bit and bump magnet/pikey against wall/caravan then gently play flame thrower over said miscreant until browned, turning every few minutes for even colour, using brush and dust-pan collect ashes of said pikey and sprinkle on flower beds . . and breath out.

Cats are good. Dogs are good too. Sneaky cheating chav cat-breeding scum are bad. Get new cat from 'Cats R Us'. Problem solved.
Slight problem, I don't think Elizabeth Duke jewelery has that much metal in it. The cat might have one of those bells on its collar though so this plan may have to evolve rather than be binned.
 

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