On a similar note, in my younger days driving one of my old bangers, my foot was slipping on the brake pedal, panicking that I had a leak from the reservoir above it. I had a feel in the dark, it felt oily but smelling my fingers it was so fucking shitty.
I'd stepped in and smeared the slimiest of shit around the pedals
There are two things that a new officer shouldn't do when he is introduced to the mess.
a) Let off a thunderflash in the anteroom (esp when it hits the carpet)
B) Adopt a feral kitten that shits under the biggest and heaviest setee in the anteroom.
Both offences have the same results.
Firstly, the offending Officer will be invited to voluntold for as many extras as the Adj has vacancies (and then some).
Secondly, the offending officer will find his mess bill going through the roof.
Thirdly he will have to buy the mess cleaner as many bottles of Asbach as she requires, after she has rescued the mess carpet armed only with patience and a 5DM piece (and coffee taken by the members on the terrace in the middle of November) (for the thunderflash) or he will have to pay the same penance as copious amounts of cleaning fluids are used to clear up the crap and get rid of the smell.
Following 2&3 mess members will not be allowed to re-arrange the furniture as the current layout hides the holes made by the thunderflashes and the discolouration made by the bleach.
Still, it saved them £000.00s on buying new carpets and furniture.