Castles - Who lives in them?

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by ghost_us, Nov 13, 2007.

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  1. I was poking around google earth and noticed a bunch of castles in and around dover that looked like cars parked.

    Are they mainly tourist attractions or do people still live in those things?
  2. Ghosts.
  3. Boogie men and moths!!

    Don't you know anything?

    Bloody hell!!
  4. Haggard old butlers named Coleman.
  5. I have a couple of friends who own castles. A couple in Scotland (more large keeps to be honest) with about 20 bedrooms apiece and several hundred acres of land (mostly trees, cliffs, midges and bogs).

    Another few friends of mine brought castles in Czech Republic and Slovakia a couple of years ago. One was sold for 3,000Czech crowns (about 20 quid), on the proviso that he spend 1.5 million EUR on renovations and employed 20 locals. As he had just sold his computer company to Oracle for 40million quid, he did the place up nicely. As it is only an hour from Prague (where he makes his cash) he lives in it all year.

    Castles are great to live in for short holidays and when you have boatloads of cash coming in. The moment you have to live of a family trust or try and make a profit on the castle you are struggling. The heating bills are horrendous, as are maintenance costs (if a listed building you cannot postpone these), etc, etc. For a big and prestigeous castle be prepared to spend 500,000 quid a year on maintenance and bills. Even for a reasonable Scottish keep in the middle of nowhere the heating bill can be 50,000 quid a year.

    Best advice is not to buy, but treat them like luxury boats and jets: rent them and not have the bother of maintenance, depreciation, insurance, things going wrong, getting trashed, stolen, etc, as well as having the moral responsibility of looking after the household staff and heritage.

    After all, the odd are if you are still working (e.g. you have 10mill in the bank but want 20) then how much time per year are you going to get to use it? What will you do when it is empty? The bills will keep racking up, and do you want to rent out your home?
  6. Ive got a trailer tent. Castles are over-rated.
  7. Hmmm. I don't think I'll bother.
  8. Tommy Two Shits!!!!!
  9. Most castles have a large tower where a young virgin princess lives waiting for her prince charming to turn up, rescue her and kick her back doors in.
  10. She isn't waiting anymore.
  11. In the off-chance that this is not a Waaahhh!

    The Queen lives in Windsor castle as do/did certain familly members and many workers/staff.

    Use your Google Earth to check on Windsor Berkshire UK. It is pretty damned big.

    EDIT to add: It is the castle that is big, not the town.
  12. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Dover's in Berkshire now? Never knew that.
  13. You'll be hard pressed to find a virgin in Windsor castle these days :D
  14. I was responding to the thread topic. But you knew that didn't you?

  15. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes