Carpet munching for blokes

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Fireplace, Jun 29, 2013.

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  1. It has also been found that the reason am an has a bulbous knob on the end of his cock is to stop his hand coming off when hes having a wank.
     
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  2. ^ Yes. I read the investigative findings on that research some time ago. Who would have guessed?
     
  3. "mate retention tactic"??? I do it cause I like the taste!

    Fireplace I'm not going to forgive you for wasting the last 5 minutes of my life reading that tripe.... Who picks up the tab for this 'research'?
     
  4. ^ Bill Porridgeun for it. If not for him, I'd have included how-to photos with the article.
     
  5. It's in the Mail, so next week they'll be telling us that fanny juice gives you cancer.
     
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  6. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    ^a tuna sandwich is less hassle though.
     
  7. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    gives you allsorts of nasties as half the stuff which makes our cock explode has no female symptoms
     

  8. I found a bit of scrunched up bog roll in a tuna sandwich once, go figure...
     
  9. Analingus is where's it's at, and to be fair some of the women I've been with the back end smelt better than the front end!
     
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  10. You lot are abunch of cockhungry benders. What right-minded man has any problem at all with flange-worship?!
     
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  11. I keep that shit in my beard for weeks. Pure nectar.
     
  12. Like that, too. I but the stuff in four pound tins from Costco.
     
  13. [boring head on] I reckon it's more to do with protecting your own sexual health and thus reproductive potential. You're more likely to detect a minging minge with your taste buds. Giving a girly the big "O" could just make her more cock hungry, and not just for yours. I site the muzzie fundamentalist practice of female circumcision as supplementary evidence.

    The second bit about sperm retention has some merit, but it relies on the hypothesis that you'd be willing to lick it until your tongue drops off after you've shot your load - not a particularly credible theory surely?

    I did know a girly who died of cock sucking cancer, a tragic loss that still haunts me. You should advise your daughters to spit, not swallow.