Caribbean holiday with extras!

#1
How many can come back from their Caribbean holiday and announce:

"My slashed penis will soon be back in full working order"

The British tourist who had his penis slashed on a Caribbean holiday has been reassured it will soon be back in 'full working order'.

But his fiancee has insisted today that he was not attacked but that he may have cut himself on razor-sharp coral.

Ellie Rotherey, 21, found her fiancee Alan "Chad" Reed, 43, covered in blood and semi-conscious on the bed when she returned to their hotel room after they became separated on a night out in the Dominican Republic.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/li...ews.html?in_article_id=520388&in_page_id=1811
 

Attachments

#2
So he was found unconcious on the bed with a slashed co*k....and the GF reckons it was 'razor sharp coral' WTF do they normally sleep on, was this some S+M holiday?

Perhaps the truth is a little bit more like.....

He pulled a local and she rolled him and her pimp slashed him up for being the tw4t he is!

But 'Mummy and Daddy' wouldn't like that story being in the paper!!

:wink:
 
#3
I think that 'became separated on a night out' really means that she was disappointed by the stamina of someone twice her age and he became emotional and decided to cut off the beastly thing. But it is reasonable that you could go swimming and not notice that tou had cut an insenstitve part of the body like the penis.
 
#5
Mr Reed said: "I wasn't drunk, but may have suffered amnesia because of the shock of what's happened.

"The doctors have said that because there are scratches on my back as well, my injuries could be consistent with a fall on rocks."
The coral out there must be so aggressive to scratch his back and slash his pride and joy. Take note divers, forget sharks, it's the coral you need to watch out for.

And bless him, amnesia. Thank goodness he remembered his room number and didn't stagger into someone else's as has been known to happen after a drink or three :wink:
 
#6
charlotte-the-harlot said:
So he was found unconcious on the bed with a slashed co*k....and the GF reckons it was 'razor sharp coral' WTF do they normally sleep on, was this some S+M holiday?

Perhaps the truth is a little bit more like.....

He pulled a local and she rolled him and her pimp slashed him up for being the tw4t he is!

But 'Mummy and Daddy' wouldn't like that story being in the paper!!

:wink:
Charley my dear I think you're approaching the truth, I was think along those lines myself.

Lots of Rum Punch, mrs cops off with a large Hunky local whose a "Rastitute" with "De Big Bamboo", whilst she's getting sorted behind the hut, the old fellows little fellow takes over and he goes looking for a bit of local and he gets rolled and scarred. Rum Punch takes away the pain and he comes round when his bandy legged missus crawls in.

Sorted
 
#7
Chad is very adventurous and sporty,
bwwwaaaa haa haa haaa

police in the Dominican Republic said they had made several arrests over the incident.
they have arrested the coral???

quality reporting here, unless I've read it wrong.

Alan "Chad" Reed, 43
and later in the story he is

The 33-year-old plumber from Paddington
 
#9
The Mirror is taking a much more serious view of the matter

Did thugs try to cut off British tourist's willy?
In the line up so far we have
 

Attachments

#10
Hang on, if he is 43 and she's 21, there's hope for me yet! Lucky git as well! (Although clearly not if he can't use his chap anymore).
 
#11
Looking at the photos, he's clearly batting well above his average with her the lardy fat (and lucky) git
 
#12
Bit of an extreme way to get rid of an STD...... or was he trying to loose weight
 
#13
mac5543 said:
Looking at the photos, he's clearly batting well above his average with her the lardy fat (and lucky) git
So lucky that when he goes on holiday he gets his knob half cut off..
 
#14
Maybe it was a local girl called Coral...
 
#15
She married him for his money. He got drunk. She figured she could do away with him and collect all his estate. She started the job, chickened out and made up some cock and bull story about how she came back and found him like that.
 
#16
Dog-faced-soldier said:
She married him for his money. He got drunk. She figured she could do away with him and collect all his estate. She started the job, chickened out and made up some c*** and bull story about how she came back and found him like that.
I'll buy into that!

Litotes
 

Similar threads

New Posts

Latest Threads