Caravans - Time for a rant

#1
I know it's been done before, but, it's that time of the year again for the towed abomnations to reappear on the roads.

Caravans.

I hate them. I hate them. I FÛCKING HATE THEM

They trundle along at 30 or 40mph clogging up the road in their pishy little mini convoys along with all the other geriatric pipe smoking, sandal wearing cûnts. All you want to do is get home or to wherever - but you just can't get past them. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

I have just endured my crappiest journey of the year, so far, returning from Glasgow on the A9, this afternoon. Anyone who's ever been up the A9 will tell you that its a SHITE road at the best of time, so it's magnified when these turd pullers are holding me up by going along at snails pace.

Imagine my relief to see a bit of dual carriageway coming and thinking "YES!!!! I can get past them and put the foot down a bit!"

Only to have it dashed by some TOSSER and his towed turd pulling out on you, as you try to hoof it past them and making you slam on the anchors and nearly catapault you through the windscreen, and overtaking another towed turd at the glacial pace of....................................................45mph!!!!

Sorry rant over. :oops:

But does anyone else want to add?
 
#2
Hitlerwasabitnaughty said:
I know it's been done before, but, it's that time of the year again for the towed abomnations to reappear on the roads.

Caravans.

I hate them. I hate them. I FÛCKING HATE THEM

They trundle along at 30 or 40mph clogging up the road in their pishy little mini convoys along with all the other geriatric pipe smoking, sandal wearing cûnts. All you want to do is get home or to wherever - but you just can't get past them. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

I have just endured my crappiest journey of the year, so far, returning from Glasgow on the A9, this afternoon. Anyone who's ever been up the A9 will tell you that its a SHITE road at the best of time, so it's magnified when these turd pullers are holding me up by going along at snails pace.

Imagine my relief to see a bit of dual carriageway coming and thinking "YES!!!! I can get past them and put the foot down a bit!"

Only to have it dashed by some TOSSER and his towed turd pulling out on you, as you try to hoof it past them and making you slam on the anchors and nearly catapault you through the windscreen, and overtaking another towed turd at the glacial pace of....................................................45mph!!!!

Sorry rant over. :oops:

But does anyone else want to add?
Err no Hits, I think you've got it well and truly covered in that rant. Do you want to rest your head on my shoulder for a while. I don't mind seeing a grown man cry! There, that's better isn't it?

Ice :D :D
 
#3
Ice_and_a_Slice said:
Hitlerwasabitnaughty said:
I know it's been done before, but, it's that time of the year again for the towed abomnations to reappear on the roads.

Caravans.

I hate them. I hate them. I FÛCKING HATE THEM

They trundle along at 30 or 40mph clogging up the road in their pishy little mini convoys along with all the other geriatric pipe smoking, sandal wearing cûnts. All you want to do is get home or to wherever - but you just can't get past them. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

I have just endured my crappiest journey of the year, so far, returning from Glasgow on the A9, this afternoon. Anyone who's ever been up the A9 will tell you that its a SHITE road at the best of time, so it's magnified when these turd pullers are holding me up by going along at snails pace.

Imagine my relief to see a bit of dual carriageway coming and thinking "YES!!!! I can get past them and put the foot down a bit!"

Only to have it dashed by some TOSSER and his towed turd pulling out on you, as you try to hoof it past them and making you slam on the anchors and nearly catapault you through the windscreen, and overtaking another towed turd at the glacial pace of....................................................45mph!!!!

Sorry rant over. :oops:

But does anyone else want to add?
Err no Hits, I think you've got it well and truly covered in that rant. Do you want to rest your head on my shoulder for a while. I don't mind seeing a grown man cry! There, that's better isn't it?

Ice :D :D
Yes I got to agree, I absolutely detest them, hate being stuck behind them and yes they should have a tax slapped on them!
 
#4
How can anything our wonderful foreign secretary endorses be a bad thing?

Was on M4 and M5 earlier today, luckily heading east in the afternoon rather than west - they were everywhere

How about them being made fair game for chavs with baseball bats?
 
#6
Towed caravans are a road scourge, but the people who own them are thoroughly loathesome. I work with a few of these tossers whose sole conversation revolves around the weekend and the caravan.

All you can do is sit in it and look out the f*cking window at every other sad c*nt who's doing the same thing in the caravan lot. If you want a holiday, go to Spain. Stop playing at being a gypsy at the weekends, you sad c*nts.

Phew, got that off the chest :evil:

*edit for spelling*
 
#7
I like many other "normal" road users was trapped by the barstards on Tuesday this week one of the TA Gypsie twats decided to park his home from home
in the side of a lorry on the M1 at junc 15 which conveniently closed the whole fecking road south bound. Which turned a nightmare 5 hour drive into a shite of a 9hour kids whinging wife blaming me! trip into country side hell! i hope you all die you road hogging monkeys!
 
#8
eSeL said:
Towed caravans are a road scourge, but the people who own them are thoroughly loathesome. I work with a few of these tossers whose sole conversation revolves around the weekend and the caravan.

All you can do is sit in it and look out the f*cking window at every other sad c*nt who's doing the same thing in the caravan lot. If you want a holiday, go to Spain. Stop playing at being a gypsy at the weekends, you sad c*nts.

Phew, got that off the chest :evil:
Are caravanners just Walt Gyppos? They buy the kit, chat about it to people who don't care but don't have the guts to start theiving and smashing anything they can reach.

CW
 
#9
A bloke i used to work with used to hitch his tin box onto his car every weekend and go off to some seaside place with his missus...to sit all weekend inside the bloody thing reading!! :x
Good weekend Roger? yeah i got through 4 novels and caused tailbacks of miles!!
 
#11
Come the glorious revelution when Cpls rule the world and TA have Charlie2s, those in amour will have free reign to ammo bash at will and go hunting this little fcukers! As RTR have a regt full of west-country(caravan heaven!) armoured farmers, my monies on them for being Kings of the turd-pulling kills...... (can anyone else hear banjos???)
 
#12
Hitlerwasabitnaughty said:
I know it's been done before, but, it's that time of the year again for the towed abomnations to reappear on the roads.

Caravans.

I hate them. I hate them. I FÛCKING HATE THEM

They trundle along at 30 or 40mph clogging up the road in their pishy little mini convoys along with all the other geriatric pipe smoking, sandal wearing cûnts. All you want to do is get home or to wherever - but you just can't get past them. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

I have just endured my crappiest journey of the year, so far, returning from Glasgow on the A9, this afternoon. Anyone who's ever been up the A9 will tell you that its a SHITE road at the best of time, so it's magnified when these turd pullers are holding me up by going along at snails pace.

Imagine my relief to see a bit of dual carriageway coming and thinking "YES!!!! I can get past them and put the foot down a bit!"

Only to have it dashed by some TOSSER and his towed turd pulling out on you, as you try to hoof it past them and making you slam on the anchors and nearly catapault you through the windscreen, and overtaking another towed turd at the glacial pace of....................................................45mph!!!!

Sorry rant over. :oops:

But does anyone else want to add?
you want to try living in lincolnshire mate we dont have that many streches of dual carrigeway so you are pretty much stuck behind the feckers your whole journey tractors i dont mind cuase it is there job and they tend to turn off the roads into there place of work and are usually only on the roads really early in the morning or late in the evening once saw one of those jcb fast track jobbys overtaking a corpse driving his nissan and caravan on the A16 funny as feck with the farmer boy giving the old codger the agincourt salute as he went by
 
#13
OK,this really does it!!
Now i really gonna put a sticker on my pikeyvan that says: ARRSE CARAVAN CLUB
www.arrse.co.uk

While i drive through England.
Just to tick you lot off :twisted:
 
#14
The bloke that lives opposite me had his caravan dealt with by a match and a gallon of unleaded. The sight got my lad off his PSP!.
Silly git has bought another one; I've bought a toasting fork :D
 
#15
just come off a great ride about the dales (i live in N Yorks) and ive come up with a solution how about putting a MILAN line in on the bridge at scotch corner as that's where the caravan club of GB seem to congregate to rid the world of this scourge only a suggestion.
 
#16
Only one thing as bad as being stuck behind a caravan & thats being stuck behind a funking cycling club!! 40 odd middle ages tossbags in pink lycra riding 3 deep side by side who are oblivious to anything else aroud them!!
 

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#17
Technically 2 answers to this one Hitler:

Version 1:[hr] If you’re still driving that thing that breaks if someone sits in the back seat.

Get a decent car that may actually have the oomph to overtake a caravan you tight bugger

Version 2: [hr] If you aren’t still driving that thing that breaks if someone sits in the back seat.

Agree totally. Going anywhere in a tin box and pissing in a bucket (for fun) should be punishable by a shot to the back of the head (for a first offence) ;)
 
#18
Sixtyfootdoll said:
Technically 2 answers to this one Hitler:

Version 1:[hr] If you’re still driving that thing that breaks if someone sits in the back seat.

Get a decent car that may actually have the oomph to overtake a caravan you tight bugger

Version 2: [hr] If you aren’t still driving that thing that breaks if someone sits in the back seat.

Agree totally. Going anywhere in a tin box and pissing in a bucket (for fun) should be punishable by a shot to the back of the head (for a first offence) ;)

Smartarse.

Vauxhall Vectra 2.2 - same engine as the VX 220. And I knew which direction I was driving it in.
:p
 
#19
Hitlerwasabitnaughty said:
Sixtyfootdoll said:
Technically 2 answers to this one Hitler:

Version 1:[hr] If you’re still driving that thing that breaks if someone sits in the back seat.

Get a decent car that may actually have the oomph to overtake a caravan you tight bugger

Version 2: [hr] If you aren’t still driving that thing that breaks if someone sits in the back seat.

Agree totally. Going anywhere in a tin box and pissing in a bucket (for fun) should be punishable by a shot to the back of the head (for a first offence) ;)

Smartarse.

Vauxhall Vectra 2.2 - same engine as the VX 220.
But 4 times as heavy as the vx220, a rep mobile and goes wrong constantly (if it's anything like a normal vectra) so get yourself a proper car. Oh and I drive a 1.4 civic so can hardly talk but either sit there mincing away minding my own business behind said caravan or take it to 7000rpm and get past (if I'm in a real hurry)
 
#20
As the owner of a Range Rover towing a 30 foot double axle luxury job, I say if you can't beat us thhen join us!!! W*nkers!!!
 

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