car crash

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by hallveg, Jul 24, 2006.

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  1. Now before i start i would like to say i don't want this turning into a mong thread, ok?

    I was driving down the A1 last night and was warned of an accident by one of those overhead sign things, so being a law abiding fella i slowed down to about 80 :wink: and prepared for the upcoming carnage. after about 1 mile I came to the following scene;

    1 police car about 150m up from the scene with his lights on, the officer putting out cones.
    1 police car at the scene with his lights on stood by his door talking on his radio.
    1 civie car parked in a shallow ditch with its tail sticking up and out at 90 degrees to the road.

    now this sounds so far like a perfectly normal accident until you here this bit,

    the passengers of the vehicle are stood/sitting at the side of the road comforting each other, one of them is in a wheel chair and definitely has some sort of motor issues(i.e. is unable to control his head and left arm, cos there both waggling around like a fish on a hook) and the other passenger is a mong!

    I drove by doing my best not to rubber neck but as you can tell by the detail above I’m a nosy barstuard and can't help it, then i had the thought,

    Who the feck was driving?
    And what were they expecting to bloody happen?

    The longer i thought about it the more i giggled to myself, i was picturing them fighting over who was driving and then them blaming each other after the accident.

    p.s. i hope nobody died cos that would make me feel shocking for laughing at them.
  2. It wasn't a car crash but I was stuck in traffic on Saturday afternoon when one of those Citroen Berlingo car/van thingys pulled up alongside me. It was when I noticed the car had in the back a mechanised infantry mlarrr mong in his wheelchair going batshite that I started pissing myself with laughter. Cue one very pissed off driver/carer staring at me for AGES.

    I'm going to hell and I'm fully prepared for it.
  3. Hallveg & the_matelot......both of you will not be going to heaven 8)

    Mocking the afflicted.....what next :? :?

    Well done men :lol:

  5. Hallveg wrote: The longer i thought about it the more i giggled to myself, i was picturing them fighting over who was driving and then them blaming each other after the accident.

    I would have blamed the guy in the wheelchair.... :D
  6. Thank you, bastards, I am trying to sit here and control myself whilst imagining driving past a "mong going batshite."

    I have visions of it being something like the boy from the Frosties "it's gonna be great" advert, but played at 8 times normal speed.
  8. lol... the one in the wheelchair was at fault coz the "Real" driver ran off pi55ing himself laughing knowing what it would look like to the old bill :D
  9. I would have wedged him behind the steering wheel whilst still in his chair.... :twisted:
  10. Reminds me of an old sick joke I once heard:

    A Bus Full of Spastics has crashed on the M1.

    It took the fire brigade 6 hours to cut the coach from the wreckage...
  11. This did occur to me and i did check the high ground as i went, with the hope of seing a bloke lying in the long grass grinning evily but alas he was not there or i didn't see him/her.
  12. I'll have you know that both the helpers died in that accident and were laying cold and stiff on a slab when you rubber necked past. You heartless b@stard. The poor unfortunates were later killed too when they pulled over an Ice Cream truck, driven by a Kosovar who stopped on the inside lane and was hit by a truck carrying a load of Ball Bearings and Chinese Immigrants. Carnage and melted Mivi's everywhere.
  13. Is that one of them cway mwore mines, :D :D
  14. These things are always destined to end in tears. Mong drivers have a tendency to smash into things under the erroneous belief that the passenger side air-bag is a giant balloon.