Can't Jump

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Aspirant, Jun 6, 2011.

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  1. My life's ambition is to become a paratrooper.

    However, at the swimming pool today I could not bring myself to jump off the 10m board. I just stood there trembling and all my mates laughed at me.

    What would happen if I could not bring myself to jump out of a 'plane.

    Any advice would be much appreciated.
  2. That should be the least of your worries. The horror of covering hundreds of miles on foot at the double with a huge load on your back while being beasted by PTIs etc should distract you nicely... if you even make it that far.

    Cheery bye!
  3. That component of the course will present no problems at all as I have already served in a "tough" light infantry unit of the SADF.

    My concern relates to the parachute component as today could not bring myself to jump from a diving board.
  4. the_boy_syrup

    the_boy_syrup LE Book Reviewer

    You're obviously

    A) A poof whose got no hope
    B) A wind up thats started badly and can only go down hill from here

    Best thing to do is climb up on a table or something similer
    Tie a saftey rope around something high up
    Attach the safety rope round your neck
    Jump - the safety rope will break your fall you won't feel a thing
  5. What would happen?

    The dispatcher would kidney-punch you and hurl you out as you writhed in agony. Your descent would end before you could collect your wits and release your container. The ensuing piss-poor landing would render you a paraplegic, thus forcing you to attend both your court-martial and the rest of your life in a wheelchair. Hope this helps.

    Shit wind-up, BTW.
    • Like Like x 2
  6. fok jou, Sit jou kop is die koei se kont en wag tot die
    bul jou kom holnaai!
  7. Of course, I forgot, the SADF pisses on the Paras' fitness standards. Oh, you should do very well, unlike a few of the other Seth Iffricans I've seen (self proclaimed combat hard cases) who lasted about a heartbeat.

    On the upside, we did have a SA guy who kept a doberman pincher named Kruger who he trained to bite the crows who fell out on a tab. We liked that, alot.

    Have a look at this about 2.47. If you can never, ever see yourself doing this, then don't try. YouTube - ‪P.COMPANY CHANNEL 4 PART 2‬‏
  8. You'll drop out on the first tab having overestimated yourself, and won't get near the trainasium, let alone parachuting before you are binned and end up as a clerk in the AGC.
  9. Just remember that no matter how far you fall, only the last foot or so can hurt you, and anyone can jump a foot or so!

    Wimping out on a high board is fairly tragic though, little kiddies jump off them all the time. Some of them will jump only once though, that shows promise I think, a capability to learn.

    I made my first static line jump as a teenage civvy, a charity fundraiser from the local boozer, they got the good looking women to jump first. Of course we then had to follow, that or hang our heads in shame for all of time. Once you've had that adrenaline rush, you're hooked for life.
  10. Try jumping from progressively higher things. Start small, jumping off a chair for example, before moving on to garden walls, trees etc. Then continue to work your way up to jumping out of aeroplanes.

    Eventually, if all goes well, you could try using a parachute.
    • Like Like x 2
  11. With the cut backs an' stuff we'll be lucky to get a plane anyone can jump from anyway
  12. Dig a hole, cover yourself in leaves, sit in the hole for 10 years eating toads to survive.
  13. We all have fears. I suspect that, rather than any fear of heights, as you looked down from 10m into the water you were overcome by your ablutophobia. This is a common problem in some African states but one that can be resolved in phase 1 training with bass brooms and bleach.
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Gaan kak in jou ma se moer
  15. Have you considered the Royal Air Force Regiment?