Cant get Arrsey at work?? Come on down!

#1
Since rejoining the world of wage slavery, i have been compelled to reduce not only my Arrse input but also my Arrse investigation. So when it gets to the end of the week, I just want to off-gas in an Arrse kind of way, so here goes...

Loadsofbeer, lots of porn, my wife doesn't understand me, good drills, did I tell you about the contact i was in? More beer don't mind if I do, who are you looking at I'll screw your face open with a broken bottle you bast', Linda Bellingham or Kerry Katona? I'd rather shag Jade goody's operation scar, fecking crabs, war films, Band of Brothers - crikey look at the tits on her/him, oh bollocks he/she is a tranny well never mind its time for more loads of beer and did i tell you about the RAF nurse i had up the wrong un - Walts? Feck them all!


Ahhh...and breath...
 
#4
Cuddles ... and ... breathe!
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#5
To respond point by point, or not . . . . it may be another week before the poor bugger can get back on!
 

the_boy_syrup

LE
Book Reviewer
#6
Cuddles said:
Loadsofbeer, lots of porn, my wife doesn't understand me, good drills, did I tell you about the contact i was in? More beer don't mind if I do, who are you looking at I'll screw your face open with a broken bottle you bast', Linda Bellingham or Kerry Katona? I'd rather shag Jade goody's operation scar, fecking crabs, war films, Band of Brothers - crikey look at the tits on her/him, oh balls he/she is a tranny well never mind its time for more loads of beer and did i tell you about the RAF nurse i had up the wrong un - Walts? Feck them all!


Ahhh...and breath...
Did you live this off the back of my forthcoming book
T_B_S my story
 
#7
Cuddles, I am now having a Brandy Sour on your behalf to go with my Wobbly.

Hope this makes you feel better 8)
 
#8
heidtheba said:
Cuddles, I am now having a Brandy Sour on your behalf to go with my Wobbly.

Hope this makes you feel better 8)
I said I was fecking working full-time NOT on the bastard wagon! I've just got in having stopped for a couple of beers en route...now what will it be? Lowenbrau Oktoberfestbier, Tribute or a large GIN...with tonic. Oh or a horse's neck?

Sex with the wife is beckoning too. I wonder if she knows this? I wonder if I care?

Rugby on later. Pub at 10 for "we may be middle class but watch us blow the froth of a few wet ones and make something of it, why don't you??" :twisted:

By the way I didn't mention military history earlier, which as I am sure you are all aware is the only reason I visit Arrse!
 
#10
Yesterday I sneaked the boots into the car then popped of to "watch the rugby dear", Came home looking innocent only to discover she who must be obeyed had seen me sneaking and asked me if I had been playing. I tried to laugh it off but the black eye which had come up kind of gave me away...That exploit followed by a "very good night out" featuring bear, belly pork and masses of cunnilingus has restored my faith in my own Arrse-like qualities. I feel I can face another week of arrse-less labour...
 
#11
The very best in your new job mate. I personally have just disposed of the second bottle of Antonin Rodet Chablis at 7 Euros a throw from the Carabinieri store and also now feel able to face the world tomorrow.

And stop playing Rugby FFS and act your age. When do the aches and pains disappear? :D
 
#12
You should come and work in Higher Education, mate. Nobody gives a shit what you do at your desk. Hell, we regularly crack open a bottle or two in the office of a Friday afternoon on the grounds that the little buggers don't start pestering us until February.

July-September's a bastard, though. And the money's shite. But then, the gym does come equipped with hot-and-cold-running teenage girls in sweaty lycra. It's hell in the trenches.
 
#13
rickshaw-major said:
The very best in your new job mate. I personally have just disposed of the second bottle of Antonin Rodet Chablis at 7 Euros a throw from the Carabinieri store and also now feel able to face the world tomorrow.

And stop playing Rugby FFS and act your age. When do the aches and pains disappear? :D
I shall not! You can't make me. TFB can't make me and she has the ultimate deterrent - withdrawal of connubial relations!
 
#14
Cuddles said:
I shall not! You can't make me. TFB can't make me and she has the ultimate deterrent - withdrawal of connubial relations!
I thought that was a normal thing when you get married. The threat that is. Mine has never carried out the threat. Yet :twisted: :twisted:
 
#15
I know what you mean crabnomore. surely for a married woman the threat of withdrawing "relations" only carries a bite if she is still providing them!! :twisted:
 
#16
Cuddles said:
rickshaw-major said:
The very best in your new job mate. I personally have just disposed of the second bottle of Antonin Rodet Chablis at 7 Euros a throw from the Carabinieri store and also now feel able to face the world tomorrow.

And stop playing Rugby FFS and act your age. When do the aches and pains disappear? :D
I shall not! You can't make me. TFB can't make me and she has the ultimate deterrent - withdrawal of connubial relations!

With a serious threat of lickage privelages being withdrawn is enough to reform even the hardiest of sunday sport pilgrims, just keep goin under the wire and keep ye head down, she may not notice. :eek:
 

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