Can you tell BJ expertise just by looks

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by essexbob, Oct 7, 2005.

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  1. Discussion with colleagues this morning, following on from last night in the pub discussing the landlords wife, Agent Provocteur underwear sans panties, tattoos on thighs and preferences of trimmed shaved or natural, leading to our custom no longer being required.

    Can you tell if a woman will give a good blowie just by her looks?

    We have discussed the obvious candidates:
    Abi Timuss, Kirsty Wark, and the receptionist at one of our offices in London.

    My contention is you cannot tell until their lips engulf your rigid member. Others state they can tell by the amount and use of lipstick, something to do with full pouting lips signalling availability, remember Diana Dors?

    I would value your opinions as we need to continue this debate, the try using flowers and chocs to get back in the pub at lunchtime.
  2. I've pulled birds that I thought would have been good, but it turns out that they aren't. So therefore the answer is no. :cry:

    However, I've been rejected by loads of birds that I thought would have been able to suck a golf ball through a hose pipe and imagined that they were awesome. :oops:

    That's probably more important :D
  3. RTFQ


    BJ Prowess is a case of nurture, not nature, so it's something she learned along the way and it's not something she was predetermined to be good at. Unless a congenital defect left her without an epiglotis. It is therefore difficult to tell by looking if she's a good chewer or not, unless of course you are looking at her chomping on your oppo during a "One F uck, Seven watch" session in a seedy berlin whorehouse. You can get an idea during the boring talky bits of courtship by poking her in the face with wandom objects, like bananas, bicycle pumps and those little telescopic unbrellas. If she reacts well to these, she may be worth a face fcuk.

    Obviously most fat birds are good at them because a successful blowie is largely the result of the gusto with which it is applied. And munters have gusto.
  4. 8O 8O
    Eh? :lol:

    Surely the lip thing is a factor worth consideration? Nice plump lips versus teeny weeny ones. I'd imagine the nice plump ones feel better, so I have been told. Or maybe that was a line to get me to perform...

    I feel so used......

  5. Flowers: Your lips are so plump.
  6. Surely a large glob of Billy Dunk dribbling out the corner of the mouth is a reliable indicator?
  7. You just can't tell by looking at the girl, even the ones who are obviously game and up for it when required to perform the service can be monumentally inexpert to the point of annoyance ("oh for fecks sake what ARE you trying to do").

    I of course when dining at the Y provide excellent service, I have however noticed that with advancing years my neck isn't what it was and I now have to employ pillows / cushions etc to prevent me blacking out.
  8. :D Had a similar discussion with two others in the week - and it was the first time I heard this! Excellent!

    From this lady's perspective, I agree - the answer's no. Give her a McDonalds milkshake or something similar and watch. If she has trouble gobbing that, walk. :wink:
  9. RTFQ


    And once she's done, throw your own over her face to see if she's also good at bukkake
  10. Black girls every time, and posh birds too. Strange but true..
  11. It would be a handy skill to have. As I recall, I used to spend a fair amount of time openly weighing up ladies in the pub and trying to guess whether they'd let me bugger them and then beat them about the head with a piece of 3 by 2. Invariably, I would stake money on the fact that certain ladies would be 'up for it' but when the question was finally put to them in the throes of passion it always ended in tears, bloodshed and a night in the cells. It may be an acquired skill but it's definitely not in my armoury.
  12. Any posh black girls out there?
  13. Girls with long hair I find are best. Grab a handful of hair in each hand, pull down and behind your buttocks then sit down on it. Now she has no choice!
  14. You don't accept no for an answer then?
  15. I can see why lips would be appealing, bigger lips being better than thinny lips - but isnt it all in the tongue action?