Can single Mums go through basic!!

#1
OK!! i am prepared for the normal torment but if there is one or two people out there who might have a genuine answer then i'd greatly appreciate it!

The background: I am a 26yr old, single mum, just getting divorced and just about to trade in the TA. Been in 7 months and have not missed a weekend. Have won various squadron awards and now i am at university. the thing is i always wish i had the guts to join the army when i was younger but never thought i could do it! Since christmas i've lost 5 stone and realise that if i put my mind to something i can do anything! My 3 yr old tho is my pride and joy, i do not wish to leave him and do not have the support of my family for TA let alone help with my basic.............. so does any one have any ideas if its possible to be done with child moderately in tow!!

Awaiting abuse.............. :)
 
#2
blueflossy said:
OK!! i am prepared for the normal torment but if there is one or two people out there who might have a genuine answer then i'd greatly appreciate it!

The background: I am a 26yr old, single mum, just getting divorced and just about to trade in the TA. Been in 7 months and have not missed a weekend. Have won various squadron awards and now i am at university. the thing is i always wish i had the guts to join the army when i was younger but never thought i could do it! Since christmas i've lost 5 stone and realise that if i put my mind to something i can do anything! My 3 yr old tho is my pride and joy, i do not wish to leave him and do not have the support of my family for TA let alone help with my basic.............. so does any one have any ideas if its possible to be done with child moderately in tow!!

Awaiting abuse.............. :)
MDN runs a baby sitting service. PM him.
 
#3
blueflossy said:
OK!! i am prepared for the normal torment but if there is one or two people out there who might have a genuine answer then i'd greatly appreciate it!

The background: I am a 26yr old, single mum, just getting divorced and just about to trade in the TA. Been in 7 months and have not missed a weekend. Have won various squadron awards and now i am at university. the thing is i always wish i had the guts to join the army when i was younger but never thought i could do it! Since christmas i've lost 5 stone and realise that if i put my mind to something i can do anything! My 3 yr old tho is my pride and joy, i do not wish to leave him and do not have the support of my family for TA let alone help with my basic.............. so does any one have any ideas if its possible to be done with child moderately in tow!!

Awaiting abuse.............. :)
That just says it all. Why on earth would you want to leave your kid? It's probably possible to do it, (Iron will let you know that) but why would you want to? Have you posted this in Rear Party? You will probably get better advice, and less slating, in there. www.rearparty.co.uk.

Squeeky.
 
#6
blueflossy said:
OK!! i am prepared for the normal torment but if there is one or two people out there who might have a genuine answer then i'd greatly appreciate it!

The background: I am a 26yr old, single mum, just getting divorced and just about to trade in the TA. Been in 7 months and have not missed a weekend. Have won various squadron awards and now i am at university. the thing is i always wish i had the guts to join the army when i was younger but never thought i could do it! Since christmas i've lost 5 stone and realise that if i put my mind to something i can do anything! My 3 yr old tho is my pride and joy, i do not wish to leave him and do not have the support of my family for TA let alone help with my basic.............. so does any one have any ideas if its possible to be done with child moderately in tow!!

Awaiting abuse.............. :)
I think you just answered your own question.
 
#7
Thanks for the kind words Squeaky hopefully after a torrid of abuse MDN will move it into the training wing.

But yes you can get into the Army having a child and being single but be prepared to have to spend a lot of time from your kid. Questions you will be asked by your caring recruiter and the PSO at the ADSC along the way will be if you get through your application.
a) can you cope with spending at least the first 14 weeks of basic training away from the child (not being able to see them until at least week 6)
b)How will you cope with having to go away on six month tours and being away from home.
c) will you have childcare (grandparent etc) to look after child whilst away and when your working 7-5 everyday at normal work nd exercises / OPS.

Realise you wont be entitled to a MQ straight away during training but I believe will probably be entitled after that.

Its quite a hard time but it is possible, once moved Ill try and answer any other questions I can, but there are plenty of other single parents who manage with lots of support from family.

Now expect incoming
 
#8
What is the TA not providing you?

msr
 
#9
Why not wait?
Your son is only 3. Wait for a few years if life is so good.
 
#10
OK i appreciate whats been said so far and am surprised its not as bad as i was expecting(as of yet)

Sparkysteve! Hell yeah i'm a minx!

I enjoy TA and wish it was something i had always wished i'd done! a happy mum equals a happy child! i just have a feeling that i will have to wait til he's a lot older! i beleive i have time to wait! i'm only 26!


but it leads me to ask another question................................ Is there a way to join regs from TA with no need to do basic! for example 7 years down the line and after several pormotions! I'm just reviewing all possibilites!

Awaiting incoming...................... :)
 
#11
msr said:
What is the TA not providing you?

msr
Not everyone takes it seriously and its something that i think should be! its a serious thing! i think that annoys me slightly and that is what makes me want to do it for real and not PLAY like my family think i am doing!!! :x
 
#12
blueflossy said:
OK i appreciate whats been said so far and am surprised its not as bad as i was expecting(as of yet)

Sparkysteve! Hell yeah i'm a minx!

I enjoy TA and wish it was something i had always wished i'd done! a happy mum equals a happy child! i just have a feeling that i will have to wait til he's a lot older! i beleive i have time to wait! i'm only 26!


but it leads me to ask another question................................ Is there a way to join regs from TA with no need to do basic! for example 7 years down the line and after several pormotions! I'm just reviewing all possibilites!

Awaiting incoming...................... :)

NO
 
#13
blueflossy said:
OK i appreciate whats been said so far and am surprised its not as bad as i was expecting(as of yet)

Sparkysteve! Hell yeah i'm a minx!

I enjoy TA and wish it was something i had always wished i'd done! a happy mum equals a happy child! i just have a feeling that i will have to wait til he's a lot older! i beleive i have time to wait! i'm only 26!


but it leads me to ask another question................................ Is there a way to join regs from TA with no need to do basic! for example 7 years down the line and after several pormotions! I'm just reviewing all possibilites!

Awaiting incoming...................... :)
Not at the moment, but 7 years down the line? Who knows?

So you are getting a degree, hopefully a reasonably well paid job off the back of it, you can do all the Mil Trg that you can through the TA - why go regular?

If you are that keen to do an Op Tour - get into your boots into your PSI's intray.

msr
 
#14
msr said:
blueflossy said:
OK i appreciate whats been said so far and am surprised its not as bad as i was expecting(as of yet)

Sparkysteve! Hell yeah i'm a minx!

I enjoy TA and wish it was something i had always wished i'd done! a happy mum equals a happy child! i just have a feeling that i will have to wait til he's a lot older! i beleive i have time to wait! i'm only 26!


but it leads me to ask another question................................ Is there a way to join regs from TA with no need to do basic! for example 7 years down the line and after several pormotions! I'm just reviewing all possibilites!

Awaiting incoming...................... :)
Not at the moment, but 7 years down the line? Who knows?

So you are getting a degree, hopefully a reasonably well paid job off the back of it, you can do all the Mil Trg that you can through the TA - why go regular?

If you are that keen to do an Op Tour - get into your boots into your PSI's intray.

msr

msr
That poses a good question. its something i will think on! although i have been thinking of this for at least the last year! thats why i joined TA first! I do wish to do a tour! but i was gonna wait til after uni and then my son would be a lot older! i suppose the way to go as i have time is to do a tour first and then decide if i wish to join regs!

Thanks for answering my questions. must admit not the slaughtering i was expecting.

Thats that then! will wait a few years and go from there!

x :D
 
#15
Joking apart: At three years old, how will it affect your child to be seperated from you for a significant amount of time? I would have said that a child that age is too young to understand where you are going or why, and it will simply be a very cruel abandonment with bad emotional consequences for the kid, especially if there is no father on the scene......
If you chose to bring a kid into the world that kid is your first obligation.
 
#16
Jesus and his saints, lads, it's the NAAFI! Where are the tales of garrison bikes, the abuse, the dubious offers of 'looking after' the child? I weep, I truly do.

My basic, we had several single mums go through the training platoon. One unfortunate in my section was smitten and insisted on banging on about the new love of his life. Unfortunately he related his sexual exploits once too often in front of the PC, a tall rather sarky QoHldr.

"Pte. McClumpherty, one swallow does not a summer make."
 
#17
Can all of basic go through a single mum? :D
 
#19
Going to jump in here. Blueflossy you are going thru' a divorce, you have a 3yr old child, your at Uni and are away with your TA unit. You now want to go Reg and get an operational tour under your belt.

I am a bit wiser and older in the tooth. I think that moms in the Armed Forces are great. I do not have a problem with maternity leave. As a father and protector and and provider I believe that a moms role is to be with the wee ones in their formulative years. Be a career mom but at night and at weekends be full on with your kid. Recruit Training is tough for new entrants. If your child is ill can you miss a few days to be at home ? I know that Employment Law has to be PC. However I do not believe that morally we should allow a single mom to abandon her child to grandparents to follow a whim. Different kettle of fish if a single female soldier joins up marries a Tom and goes on maternity with a stable marriage and returns to work thats grand.

Your first obligation is that of a mom. They need that bond & love. When your on basics at zero dark thirty on an exercise you need to be 120% focussed on that. Not getting texts that wee Johnny has earache or a cold. Your peers in the depot will not want to see you do a dirty dash home on a Thursday night and get a buckshee Friday as the child is ill.

You have a lot going on. Just pursue the TA career.
 
#20
Why be separated from your rug-rat?

The caring sharing Army of the new millenium now encourages small children and cuddely animals to be taken on military training and ops due to the positive impact that it has been shown to have on morale. Government lawyers have reviewed this policy and so long as they don't actually fire a weapon, it doesn't fall foul of the Child Soldier guidelines.

Child-carrier type rocket-packs are available through the system, talk to your QM.

Hope this helps,
PB.
 

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