Can anyone translate this drivel?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by custard_war, May 16, 2006.

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  1. This got sent to a mate of mine by mistake earlier... can anyone understand it?... Is it English?

    If you hate "Text Speak" Then read no further

    I can't make head nor tail of it and it makes my eyes hurt trying to work it out.

  2. How are you? Hope you are ok. I just thought that I would chat because I am on my own in school because I've been kicked out of science. I've just pissed my pants. Hope that you text back because I am very bored.
    Love you lots, like Jelly totsxxxxx

    -Corrected the Grammar and punctuation for free.

    What a boring person.
  3. translates roughly to: "hiya how are you? hope your ok. jst thought i could chat because i am at school and have been kicked out of science. pms (prob means she is using pre-menstural tension for being a pain in the arrse) hope you text back because i am sooooooooooo (meaning she is really really) bored, i'm off love you lots like jelly tots xxxx (sort of school girl poetry)

    hope that helps!!
  4. DR you are either a cunning linguist or from the Staines massive...

  5. "Hiya, how are you? Hope you're ok. I just thought I'd chat because I'm on my mobile in school because I've been kicked out of science. Pi**ing myself laughing!! Hope you text back because I'm so bored. Laughing my a** off. Love you lots, like Jelli Tots....."

    Duh...How could you not know what that meant?? :)
  6. Maybe s/he got slung out of science because s/he insisted on licking the windows!

  7. right my chav speak isn't that great but I think it roughly translates as:

    Hello there my dear chap, how are you? I do hope you are ok. I just thought I would have a conversation with you as I am on ******** (untransatable) because I have been removed from my science class, laughed so hard I urintated! I do hope you text me back because one is a tad bored that I have laughed by behind off. I love you a lot, little jelly tots kiss kiss etc.

    Now please excuse me I feel dirty
  8. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Any chance of posting a 'Not safe for those who value their eyesight' in the thread title first please, C_W?

    Jesus, they're still painful.
  9. I'll have a go...

    Greetings of the most enthusiatic kind. May I inquire as to your heath? I do hope that everything is fine and dandy. It occured to me to send you this sms as I am unfortunately alone in my educational establishment, having had a difference of opinion and been asked to leave the lecture on the combined subjects of chemistry, physics and biology. It is making me urinate with hilarity! I sincerely wish you to reply to this message as I am at rather a loose end and unentertained. May I also express my undying desire for you - it is as great as my desire for a certain sugar coated jelly type sweet, kisses.
  10. Yes. Ive just run it through a very powerful computer and it comes up with the following;

    Hope this clears it up for you.

    (It wasnt from pentwyn/doctrine was it?)
  11. The key to it is to think 'what would I do if I was a sponging burden on society, who's probably pregnant'.

    Squinting at the words helps too.
  12. Squinting doesn't help. I think I've gone cross-eyed
  13. You'll use any excuse to shoot her in the face these days Flashy.

  14. I think the clips of that are now available on bit torrent.
  15. Could we reply back with some message that they'll never understand? i.e in english?