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Can anyone translate this drivel?

#1
This got sent to a mate of mine by mistake earlier... can anyone understand it?... Is it English?

If you hate "Text Speak" Then read no further


iyaaaaaaaaaa.owa u?ope ya kk.a jst fort ad chat cos am on ma bil in sku cos a bin kikd owt ov science.pmsl!!!!ope ya tb cos am sooooooooooooo bord,lmao
lv ya lots lyk jelli totsxxxxx
I can't make head nor tail of it and it makes my eyes hurt trying to work it out.

CW
 
#2
How are you? Hope you are ok. I just thought that I would chat because I am on my own in school because I've been kicked out of science. I've just pissed my pants. Hope that you text back because I am very bored.
Love you lots, like Jelly totsxxxxx

-Corrected the Grammar and punctuation for free.


What a boring person.
 
#3
translates roughly to: "hiya how are you? hope your ok. jst thought i could chat because i am at school and have been kicked out of science. pms (prob means she is using pre-menstural tension for being a pain in the arrse) hope you text back because i am sooooooooooo (meaning she is really really) bored, i'm off love you lots like jelly tots xxxx (sort of school girl poetry)

hope that helps!!
 
#5
"Hiya, how are you? Hope you're ok. I just thought I'd chat because I'm on my mobile in school because I've been kicked out of science. Pi**ing myself laughing!! Hope you text back because I'm so bored. Laughing my a** off. Love you lots, like Jelli Tots....."

Duh...How could you not know what that meant?? :)
 
#7
right my chav speak isn't that great but I think it roughly translates as:

Hello there my dear chap, how are you? I do hope you are ok. I just thought I would have a conversation with you as I am on ******** (untransatable) because I have been removed from my science class, laughed so hard I urintated! I do hope you text me back because one is a tad bored that I have laughed by behind off. I love you a lot, little jelly tots kiss kiss etc.

Now please excuse me I feel dirty
 

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#8
Any chance of posting a 'Not safe for those who value their eyesight' in the thread title first please, C_W?


Jesus, they're still painful.
 
#9
I'll have a go...

Greetings of the most enthusiatic kind. May I inquire as to your heath? I do hope that everything is fine and dandy. It occured to me to send you this sms as I am unfortunately alone in my educational establishment, having had a difference of opinion and been asked to leave the lecture on the combined subjects of chemistry, physics and biology. It is making me urinate with hilarity! I sincerely wish you to reply to this message as I am at rather a loose end and unentertained. May I also express my undying desire for you - it is as great as my desire for a certain sugar coated jelly type sweet, kisses.
 
#10
Yes. Ive just run it through a very powerful computer and it comes up with the following;

Hello. I am a moron with the mental ability of a disabled picnic table and should have been thrown into the Manchester Union canal at birth. My parents are hill billie chavs and have appeared on Jeremy Kyle, Trisha and are hoping to travel to the United States of America to appear on Jerry Springer. My ambition is to have three kids of my own by the time I am 12 years old, one of each colour, each fathered by different glue sniffers. I am a cunt and should be shot in the face.
Hope this clears it up for you.


(It wasnt from pentwyn/doctrine was it?)
 
#11
fish-head said:
DR you are either a cunning linguist or from the Staines massive...

Booyahkasha!!
The key to it is to think 'what would I do if I was a sponging burden on society, who's probably pregnant'.

Squinting at the words helps too.
 
#17
I Just checked back through it. There's only two words with more than one syllable and only one of them is spelt correctly!

This got me thinking.. what sort of person would send this. I've got an image of a Vicky Pollard-esque chav lass with a slight tendency to lick the nearest window/transparent object.

CW
 
#18
The Lord Flasheart said:
Yes. Ive just run it through a very powerful computer and it comes up with the following;

Hello. I am a moron with the mental ability of a disabled picnic table and should have been thrown into the Manchester Union canal at birth. My parents are hill billie chavs and have appeared on Jeremy Kyle, Trisha and are hoping to travel to the United States of America to appear on Jerry Springer. My ambition is to have three kids of my own by the time I am 12 years old, one of each colour, each fathered by different glue sniffers. I am a cunt and should be shot in the face.
Hope this clears it up for you.


(It wasnt from pentwyn/doctrine was it?)
ROFLMAO! I am actually crying! :lol:
 

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