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Can a Para round 50 y/o answer some questions please, I think I've been waltzed...

Afternoon all. Met a gentleman whilst on my round at work ( No, I'm not a paper boy) who proudly showed off his electric heated bodywarmer. Quite impressive for £50.00. Says I "That would have been perfect in a previous job, quite a lot of waiting around in the cold."
"What job?"
"Infantry"
"Ah, I was one of those things that fell from the sky and wasn't bird shit...."
He went on to say that when he was in 1 Para, you had to do 25 jumps a year to stay qualified, but now that's been reduced to 15. He also said that the Paras are different, and that a Para platoon is bigger than a company. I was 'surprised' at this, and so he went to say that the paras are organised as one coy to a chinook, and that weapons are different to personnel. And loads more improbable shit. I'd say he was early 50s.

25 jumps a year is one per fortnight Does crab air have the capacity for that? Wouldn't that cost 10% of the ddfence budget?
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
You danced with him?

How did you manage to socially distance?

Wouldn't a tango have been more romantic?
 

The_Duke

LE
Moderator
Jumps to stay current changes fairly frequently, but over that timeframe would have varied between an aspirational 2 per year to one every two years (rules changed to meet aircraft availability!).

I wouldn't say Para platoons are bigger, either. I had some short runty blokes in mine, but they seem to have been raised on a diet of cheap fags and Irn Bru so I can't say they were wildly different from their mates who joined other units.
 

XPara Mugg

War Hero
He also said that the Paras are different, and that a Para platoon is bigger than a company. I was 'surprised' at this, and so he went to say that the paras are organised as one coy to a chinook, and that weapons are different to personnel. And loads more improbable shit. I'd say he was early 50s.
I think we can do a little maths on that one.

He sais: A para platoon is bigger than a company. Let's estimate about 110 all ranks then.

I'm assuming he still thinks 'triangular', so three 'platoons' would be 330 all ranks, or thereabouts.

Now, did he tell you just how big this Chinook was?

'Improbable', I think so.

Remember, if you want real information on all thing Parachute Regiment ask a real Para.



I understand there's one in every pub.;)
 

RTU'd

War Hero
He's gen.
Probably done more soldiering than you have.
Para's are 2nd only to the SAS in staying power in EVERYTHING or so the SAS say.
He will have got more medals than Ebay.
And parade only at times of war.
 
Remember, if you want real information on all thing Parachute Regiment ask a real Para.
I understand there's one in every pub.;)

I wonder what all the walts are doing during lockdown (apart from the ones hanging around waiting to tell Stainmaster their bizarre military fantasies)? Are they all at home bullshitting to their wives and kids?


Boris is going to have to open the pubs again, before they bore their families to death. It's a safety issue.
 
Met a gentleman on your 'work rounds' you say? Did his shaft taste salty or cheesy? If so, he's not gen - Paras dicks taste of male feces. The only blokes with clean tasting knobs are booties due to their insane dobie regimen.
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
I wonder what all the walts are doing during lockdown (apart from the ones hanging around waiting to tell Stainmaster their bizarre military fantasies)? Are they all at home bullshitting to their wives and kids?


Boris is going to have to open the pubs again, before they bore their families to death. It's a safety issue.
Many post on Arrse! :)
 
Gentleman, thank for your replies. Glad to know my bullshit-o-meter is still functioning. He was working on an old landie defender that had a snorkel made from white UPVC rainwater downpipe. he also said that the amount of guys who could be moved in one drop depended on if you wanted to go more than 150 miles. he surrounded very authoritative. If they are flying from Brize, that means things will be tricky if any thing kicks off west of Plymouth. those Cornish are a chippy lot, so you never know...
 
Met a gentleman on your 'work rounds' you say? Did his shaft taste salty or cheesy? If so, he's not gen - Paras dicks taste of male feces. The only blokes with clean tasting knobs are booties due to their insane dobie regimen.
COVID stole my sense of taste and smell. It's marvellous. My utilities bills have plummeted for the lack of showering. I've also been able to use much cheaper ladies of the night, as their personal hygiene levels are no longer an issue.
Everything smells of diesel. The fossil fuel, not the aftershave.
 
Jumps to stay current changes fairly frequently, but over that timeframe would have varied between an aspirational 2 per year to one every two years (rules changed to meet aircraft availability!).

I wouldn't say Para platoons are bigger, either. I had some short runty blokes in mine, but they seem to have been raised on a diet of cheap fags and Irn Bru so I can't say they were wildly different from their mates who joined other units.
That explains their reputation for aggression.
I did hear that Italian paras were on a giant bungee, so they could jump back up if there was resistance on the drop zone.
 

Auld_Sapper

War Hero
Met a gentleman on your 'work rounds' you say? Did his shaft taste salty or cheesy? If so, he's not gen - Paras dicks taste of male feces. The only blokes with clean tasting knobs are booties due to their insane dobie regimen.
Fcuking utter rubbish. The best smelling dicks in the military are Sapper dicks. Sapper dicks either smell of fanny fat (when available) or a soothing hand cream whilst we lie back and have a "waste some time wank" whilst the Para mongs, Bootie mongs and everyone else mongs wander about going "Hoo Ra, First In, Last Out, We Am Heeroes" and the members of the CRE, whilst coming in their general direction, say, "No you fckuing weren't"
Ubique Ya Bass
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
Fcuking utter rubbish. The best smelling dicks in the military are Sapper dicks. Sapper dicks either smell of fanny fat (when available) or a soothing hand cream whilst we lie back and have a "waste some time ****" whilst the Para mongs, Bootie mongs and everyone else mongs wander about going "Hoo Ra, First In, Last Out, We Am Heeroes" and the members of the CRE, whilst coming in their general direction, say, "No you fckuing weren't"
Ubique Ya Bass


I admire your research into penis smells. I dare not ask about your data collection techniques.
 

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