A USMC Captain was assigned to an Irish Regiment in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent and asked Sgt Paddy why the camel was kept there.

"Well, sir", answers Paddy, "As you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ..m-m-m....urges. That's why we have the camel, sir." The American Captain says, "I can't say that I approve of this but, for the sake of morale, the camel can stay."

After about a month, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges. Crazy with passion, he asks Sgt P to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a stool behind the animal, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has wild, insane sex with the poor beast. When he's done, he asks, "Is that how the men do it. Sgt?

"Uh, no sir",Paddy replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."

Mr. Rabinowitz, an elderly bachelor in a Miami retirement community, envied his neighbor, Mr. Goldberg.

Goldberg was everything Rabinowitz was not: slender, elegant, poised, popular, well-informed, a gifted player of pinochle, poker, shuffleboard, and still blessed with most of his now-graying hair.

So Rabinowitz demanded of him: "Tell me what I have to do to be popular."

Goldberg replied: "Get a camel and ride it up and down Main Street all afternoon."

Which Rabinowitz did.

He grew hot and thirsty as the afternoon dragged on. He tied up the camel at a parking meter and went into the deli for a drink.

He came out and discovered that the beast was missing.

Rabinowitz called the police. The officer who caught the squeal asked: "What color was this camel?"


"Male or female?

"How would I know? Wait a minute! It was a male.

"And how do you know that, sir?

"Because everywhere I went, people pointed and said: 'Hey, look at the schmuck on that camel!'"

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