Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by RTFQ, Sep 13, 2005.

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  1. RTFQ


    I understand that those thriving cesspits of sloth and sexual alienation known as universities are starting back up this week. Apparently they have this tradition called "Freshers Week" whereby all the virgins in the establishment are deflowered by scared looking boys who smell of marijuana. I'm appalled by this caligulan excess and as a concerned resident of the environs of Cambridge, I want to try to steer the young girls away from such temptation ans show them the inherent truth and holiness of abstinence.

    Can any of the younger arrsers hook me up with the necessary documentation to get me into the various student unions of Lucy Cavendish, New Hall, Newnham, Downing,etc - not Magdelene though, obviously - so that I, and some of my fellow concerned citizens, can attend and sell bibles to the impressionable young girls?

    Likewise, myself and General Melchett are so disgusted by the Sade-esque depravities of Oxford University, in particular the sapphic utopia of St Hilda's college, that we feel compelled to cleanse them with our own brand of christian 'tough love.'

    If anyone can help us in our noble quest, and suggest likely cover stories (I'm thinking of appointing myself as the new lecturer in Home Economics, GM can be the gardener), please contact me. The thought of all those nubile and naive young ladies fiddling with themselves and others is almost too much for me to bear.
  2. When I was at uni (mature-ish student) just after I finished with the mob I went to Exeter and on Freshers' Week, we just pitched up and went round all the stands, stalls and "socs". No disguises or cover stories necessary. There were no checks or passwords - we just wandered in. Of course, not being Oxbridge (which is I guess the point of your query) they may do things differently.
  3. yup I have attended freshers week at Liverpool uni and John Moores and to be honest the security is pretty pooh... which was good for me... ended up attending a few pi55ups in town and beasting a couple of said female stuuuuuuuuudents.
  4. RTFQ - Fresher's Week at Cambridge isn't till the first week of October, sorry. You'll just have to wait.

  5. Never saw anything like that when I was there. Of course, I was an Engineering student so it may well just have passed me by...

    About half of them you need to be signed in by a member of the college if you want to visit their bar, and the rest don't seem to care. Oh, and if you want to leave Newnham between midnight and about 8am you have to be signed out by the young lady you're visiting. Hence the queue to get out at 8am or so...
  6. As I live in that thar fair city, alow me...

    If you wan't to get into to a student bar, find a Student who is bezzering, stand in the right place and Jobs done. They can get you past the Porter's, and into the bar. That being said, most porter's are half asleep and you could probaly get past them. Or try the may balls if you like highclass totty in nice dresses. Either hjack a punt, get over a ditch, or slip the security guards £20.

    Failing all of the above:

    Cambridge Regional College is a VERY good place to pull the lower end chavette. Open enrollment, If you want a course They will take you. (worked there as a rent'a'cop... 3 years of 19 year old Ladyfreinds (me being around 25 at the time). Letching on the CCTV at the couples thinking they where safe to shag in the car park passed the time. Stabtiffy2b can confirm what I say.

    Ballare: Monday night: School night. Anyone dressed in school uniforms get's in free before 2200. So lots of pigtails, FMB's, stockings, Shot skirts and skimpy blouse's. "school uniform" is classfied as white top, and tie, and the tie can come off as soon as your in.

    Regal: half way between a club and a bar. Can be a bit hit or miss.

    Life: CLub: Fancy a pair of rug muncher's? try tuesday night. Otherwise it can be ok.

    King street run: Pub, and the raditional starting place for the so called "King street run". Run up then down king street, stopping of at every establishment you can find, and have a Drink... Gotten worse recently as the number of pubs seems to have shrunk.

    Oh and can you Nick/Vandlise/Ride the horse in the college off King street?
  7. The CSM of Cambridge OTC once got thrown out of that college (Jesus) for riding that horse after a particularly drunken OTC formal.

    Surely the St Radagund is the logical place for the start of the King Street Run? That way, you can work your way down the street, rather than having to double back...

    The Regal is a Wetherspoons, and hence ideal if you like 15 year old chavettes. Someone tell MDN.

    Monday night in Ballare/Cindies is school uniform night? No-one's ever told me...

    RTFQ - if you want a drink in a student bar, I'll stand you one.

  8. Oh fork yeah... Looks like we could be organising a Cambridge urine up here...
  9. Don't forget APU (Anglia Pretend University). They start at the end of this month and can be quite useful in terms of a warm up, even if the trade is a little on the rough side and not particularly bright.
  10. APU is A Pointless Univeristy on the whole. Full of lefties, lezzers freaks etc (although Cam and UEA have enough of them also).
    70% of the courses are now the mikey mouse sort such as media studies and art appreciation.

    But who cares eh? I am earning shed loads of dorra as is most of my Computer Science buddies... The girls are ok, no better or worse looking than the Cambridge girls, just more free time and less emotional (oh god I only have 8 weeks to do my work, row and go to parties every night).

    In summary if you want a decent shag with out a psyco b*tch choose APU girls...
  11. I don't want people associsating me with you.

    That's not a bad plan. I can 'woo' the ladies with my skills. Assuming, of course, that I can escape from the Mrs for a night out.
  12. RTFQ


    Good response, thanks to all. I have always found cambridge a bit hit and miss during the week, so the pointers on which bars/when is very handy. I like the idea of a p1ss up, but in truth I can't think about alcohol just now - myself and Cutaway had a meeting of minds last night, and I woke up laying in a field outside brightlingsea.
  13. So I would say a Monday night (For the theme night) and as we seem to have alot of Cambridge types on here. lets try for it.

    PS: Two of the Arsser's who would meet up have recently gotten engaged.. think of the night as a sort of mini-arrse stag do...