Call of ARRSE- Pub Warfare

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by CDT gruntfuttock, Dec 27, 2012.

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  1. Recently I went to an OSB up in Trentham, and after it had all finished, we were invited to the officers mess for a slap-up tea and a couple of cheap pints.

    As I was talking to a few of the younger candidates, I found out that a good proportion of them based their ideas about the army off modern video games, a fecking terrible prospect for the Army.

    As I'm a poor sod, I don't tend to play such things, but I had an idea..

    What if we could make a 'real' modern warfare game, 'Call of ARRSE-Pub Warfare'. With such challenges as:
    Bollockings- Battle your way through basic training with nothing but sheer terror and being shouted at by a large Maori sergeant- This may be achieved by installing said indigenous person in the living room and having him demand you lift heavy things at regular intervals

    Boot polishing- This needs some thought, and the detestable Wii controller springs to mind, 'Your hand IS the bootbrush!'

    Rain- This will need a shower head interface, with waterproof console and lead boots to simulate that perennial favourite, MUD!

    Pubs!- This will require a portable console of some sort, where you head along to the local pub in the god-forsaken hole the army puts you in, and pay the barman fifty quid every half hour as he pours cold soup down the front of your best clothes.

    Any other ideas chaps?
  2. Yeah

    Stick to rugby.
  3. Fair enough.