Cake Help!

I never ever ever bake, so for this Valentines day I decided to bake a cake for the wife, and there's been a disaster. So I now have some 90 minutes to save the situation with weird baker magic and tricks that I have no idea about.

I picked the wife's favourite cake, and found a simple recipe online, and followed it to a fault.
As an added touch, I only deviated from the recipe by getting a pair of heart shaped 20in baking tins. I think you can spot where this is going, as the recipe calls for 20cm tins. Now I have two wafer thin, for want of the better word, Pancakes, in a very ragged heart shape (why have the bloody baking paper), a huge mound of whipped cream along with the cherry sauce. If I try to turn the cakes out they start to flex and are going to fragment instantly.

As another foul up, I've just realised I don't actually have anything in the house to stand the completed thing on. At the moment I'm wondering if it might be an idea to slice each cake in half and have a four layered cake. That I hope would make the cake easier to handle and less likely to break.

Note: I fully accept that I will get mocking for this, and it was a time up between here or the NAAFI.

So, advice (and/or laughter)?
 

Mr Tweedy

Old-Salt
Make it into a Black forest flavoured Trifle type desert. Get a big bowl (glass one if you have it will look nicer), break up the cake (it's going to break up anyway by the sound of it), and layer it with the cake at the bottom, then the cherries, then put some custard on (if you have it) and then the cream. Might be OK without the custard.

A Voila! A black forest trifle. "It's how it was meant to be , Honest!"
 
Make it into a Black forest flavoured Trifle type desert. Get a big bowl (glass one if you have it will look nicer), break up the cake (it's going to break up anyway by the sound of it), and layer it with the cake at the bottom, then the cherries, then put some custard on (if you have it) and then the cream. Might be OK without the custard.

A Voila! A black forest trifle. "It's how it was meant to be , Honest!"
Now we're talking!

Won't the base be a bit on the dry side?
 

Fake Sheikh

War Hero
Lidl or Aldi if nearby or Waitrose/M&S as you do not want to poison her, yet.
 

pigdog

Clanker
Have you used plain flower instead of self raising? If it called for plain did you add baking powder?
 
Have you used plain flower instead of self raising? If it called for plain did you add baking powder?
Flower- a daisy is quite a plain flower or was it plain flour
 
Well its all gone wrong. She came home early and there's me juggling slivers of cake.

Thanks for the help though.

She found it highly amusing, now I'm only going to have to suffer a life time of comments about mistaking Inches for Centimetres.
 

Imago

Old-Salt
She found it highly amusing, now I'm only going to have to suffer a life time of comments about mistaking Inches for Centimetres.
Doesn't this rightly belong under 'How bone is your er ... bloke ...?
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
I would've helped but I am to cakes and pastries as Kate McCann is to babysitting. All that pastry stuff is too fiddly for me, I just buy them.
 
Well its all gone wrong. She came home early and there's me juggling slivers of cake.

Thanks for the help though.

She found it highly amusing, now I'm only going to have to suffer a life time of comments about mistaking Inches for Centimetres.
Never mind - its the thought that counts . . . :)

(just keep telling yourself that every time it gets dredged up over the next 15-20 years!)
 
Well its all gone wrong. She came home early and there's me juggling slivers of cake.

Thanks for the help though.

She found it highly amusing, now I'm only going to have to suffer a life time of comments about mistaking Inches for Centimetres.
On the plus side, at least she'll be able to clear up the mess to her satisfaction.

It's the thought that counts. She'll be pleased that you haven't screwed up her diet. Nip down to the chippy as a consolation - it's what she would have preferred anyway.
 
She found it highly amusing, now I'm only going to have to suffer a life time of comments about mistaking Inches for Centimetres.
Just tell her that she should be grateful that yours is measured in inches and not centimetres.
 

Mr Tweedy

Old-Salt
Now we're talking!

Won't the base be a bit on the dry side?
Ooops. Yep. Forgot to say, soak the base in something suitable. Schnapps, Cherry brandy, Asbach. Whatever, as long as it's a boxhead booze (it is a Black Forest Trifle....). The juice from the cherry sauce might soak into the cake, but without booze it is NOT a trifle.
 

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