God had just created the world and was sat back admiring his work. He took Adam up high to view the world.
âYou see the world I have created it has balanceâ said God,
âWhat do you mean?â asked Adam.
âWell every thing is spread according to balance; you have equal distribution of weather and wealth, of beauty and poverty, of deserts and junglesâ
âI Still donât Fcuking get itâ Said Adam
âOkay! What I basically mean is, look at these Countries in the North, the Weather isnât so nice, but they shall be wealthy. Move to the south these shall be poorer Nations but the weather will be nice, get it? Balance you see.â Explained God
âWhatâs that small Country with all the good stuff in?â
âThatâs Wales; it will have the best looking people, the nicest land, the finest pubs, and the best of everything. It is my special project. The finest of all the countries. It will be the perfect place.â
âWhat! Thatâs not fair, I thought every where had to have balance, and Wales is perfect.â
âYou wait till you see the Wnakers Iâm putting next door.â
At least you're trying S_R.... I booked myself onto a Welsh course "to better understand the lads", and was promptly taken aside by a softly-spoken NCO who explained a couple of key points I had missed:
1. It was South Welsh I would learn, which among many North Welsh is worse than English. Yes, the "English" army that torched Gwynedd is often said to have been mainly French and South Welsh...
2. Welsh is a code. It is a code designed to identify friend from foe, ie Welsh from everyone else. They (at least in the north) don't WANT you to learn it if you're from the "everyone else".
3. I should just move back to England and fcuk off out of it, cos they were sick of training nights being in English on account of me and one officer. Point taken. Thanks, Corporal V.
At least it's still legal to shoot a Welshman after dark within the city limits of Wrexham. (provided you use a longbow, etc.).
Apart from that, I had a lovely time in Wales, you know!