Buying a commission

Discussion in 'Officers' started by bernoulli, Jul 17, 2008.

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  1. Can you still buy a commission in the British Army? The thing is, you see, I have a fair bit of coin in the bank, and I'm bored of being an Urrk.

    I also want to enjoy the opportunity to boost a higher class of flange that comes with holding the Queen's Commission.

    I am not after anything too fancy - a colonelcy in one of the less fashionable regiments will do. If anyone wants to do a nice little deal, PM me.
     
  2. Based on the 1837 price for a Lt Colonelcy, you would now need £330 867.07 for this.

    That's nearly a full tank of petrol!
     
  3. True, but you would soon claw that back by moving hashish and smack from Afghan, or antiquities and trafficked human flesh from Iraq...
     
  4. Make out the cheque to "Commissions Are So Hard to acquire" (you can use the initials if the space on the cheque is inadequate), send it to me and I will sort out the paperwork immediately.

    Do you prefer a minor Inf Bn, the Gunners (slightly upmarket), Sigs, RLC or REME? (although the latter is somewhat tiresome about professional qualifications). For £330k, the Guards won't even get out of (each other's) bed.

    Litotes
     
  5. The Gunners are slightly upmarket????!!!

    Several years ago when I was pondering which offer of a commission I should accept I turned to my brother (a ten-year more senior Household Div commission) for advice. He told me that he has lived his life by just one maxim:

    "Rather my sister a whore than my brother a Gunner!"
     
  6. Berni, you can have mine, mate.

    How about swapsy for...say...a pint and a bag of pork scratchings?
     
  7. It seems to work for all those oversee type students who turn up at the gates of RMAS after their country has deposited a healthy cheque in the MoD coffers. Of course, it helps if they're also a prince of some far off hot country where we like to train etc.
     
  8. As long as the pint is Guinness, and the Pork Scratchings are a big bag, then happy days. That'll cost you about £200 in the pub nowadays!
     
  9. You can get one in the RMP for about £40.
     
  10. The cheque's in the post;
    I love you, honest I do;
    One of my best friends is a Gunner.
     
  11. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Good news, good news indeed. I thought that was a thing of the past, and as I'm a thick cnut, I'd figured I'd never hold a commission. To find out I can buy one to go along with my peerage is just wonderful. I am now gracious enough to allow you to call me 'Sir, Sir'.
     
  12. yes but first you must master the mystical art of "soap and water"
    clouds of lynx don't really cut it :twisted:
     
  13. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    Nice one Hippy!
     
  14. bernoulli might be on to something, here.

    Thinking about the Opportunity Cost, £330k wouldn't go far in Civvy Street - perhaps a 4 bedroom, "Executive," bungalow?

    £330k invested, on the other hand, in a Lt Colonelcy gets you a nice big barracks, 24 hour security guards and oodles of minions to service your every whim.

    Add to that the free foreign travel............
     
  15. Bern, I thought you had a touch of oriental blue blood. The post of Kaptan Pasha is vacant at the moment, why not claim it.
    Go the whole hog, style yourself Kaptan Pasha Thunderbolt II, and you'll have fanny dripping off you.