Butlins post Christmas, anybody else suffered this fate?

JAD

LE
My In laws paid for a big family get together at Butlins 27-30 December. (Note to self to email my thanks to them). Christ, has anyone else suffered the human zoo that is our wondrous society bunched together at a holiday camp? More mobility scooters per square inch than there are thieving politicians in Westminster. My Christmas over indulgence paunch, which is already subsiding by the way, was missing in action, due to the BMI busters wobbling around Skegness in fake designer gear and replica footy shirts. The march from accommodation block to breakfast and back looked like the retreat from Moscow, with plenty of casualties on route, the full half mile walk to/from was a killer for some. Minibuses were laid on for some less mobile punters. Bless 'em.
Butlins advertised entertainment for all the family, top of the bill performers and entertainers from off the tele. I missed all of these for some reason, although I did look (everywhere). To be fair the female red coats were easy on the eye but all looked a little jaded,due to living Christmas every day since September. Some had developed a nervous twitch every time Slade/Roy Wood et al cranked up on the PA system. Has anyone got tales of fun times had at Skeg, Minehead or Bognor?
 
My In laws paid for a big family get together at Butlins 27-30 December. (Note to self to email my thanks to them). Christ, has anyone else suffered the human zoo that is our wondrous society bunched together at a holiday camp? More mobility scooters per square inch than there are thieving politicians in Westminster. My Christmas over indulgence paunch, which is already subsiding by the way, was missing in action, due to the BMI busters wobbling around Skegness in fake designer gear and replica footy shirts. The march from accommodation block to breakfast and back looked like the retreat from Moscow, with plenty of casualties on route, the full half mile walk to/from was a killer for some. Minibuses were laid on for some less mobile punters. Bless 'em.
Butlins advertised entertainment for all the family, top of the bill performers and entertainers from off the tele. I missed all of these for some reason, although I did look (everywhere). To be fair the female red coats were easy on the eye but all looked a little jaded,due to living Christmas every day since September. Some had developed a nervous twitch every time Slade/Roy Wood et al cranked up on the PA system. Has anyone got tales of fun times had at Skeg, Minehead or Bognor?
Hell on earth..... I almost feel sorry for you!
 
Could have been worse, it could have Butlins in Glasgow.
 

Muleteer

Old-Salt
I must have been about 13 or 14 when I caught a fleeting glimpse of the Butlins camp at Ayr. I swore then that I would never set foot in one of those places,and I haven`t.
 
My In laws paid for a big family get together at Butlins 27-30 December. (Note to self to email my thanks to them). Christ, has anyone else suffered the human zoo that is our wondrous society bunched together at a holiday camp? More mobility scooters per square inch than there are thieving politicians in Westminster. My Christmas over indulgence paunch, which is already subsiding by the way, was missing in action, due to the BMI busters wobbling around Skegness in fake designer gear and replica footy shirts. The march from accommodation block to breakfast and back looked like the retreat from Moscow, with plenty of casualties on route, the full half mile walk to/from was a killer for some. Minibuses were laid on for some less mobile punters. Bless 'em.
Butlins advertised entertainment for all the family, top of the bill performers and entertainers from off the tele. I missed all of these for some reason, although I did look (everywhere). To be fair the female red coats were easy on the eye but all looked a little jaded,due to living Christmas every day since September. Some had developed a nervous twitch every time Slade/Roy Wood et al cranked up on the PA system. Has anyone got tales of fun times had at Skeg, Minehead or Bognor?

The only fun time I had at Butlins was when I was in my late teens and worked the bars , never stopped shagging , both staff and holiday makers , rebellious young girls and single mothers on holiday ,top times.
 
Come the revolution, I'll be turning all Butlins locations into concentration camps.

It'll save a fortune on transport costs as undesirables will make their own way there in a convoy of uninsured cars and filthy coaches from council estates all over the country.

We'll also save on gas, as a week without heroin, beer or daytime TV will finish most of them.
 
Not "post Christmas" but the grandkids nagged me into taking them about 14 years ago to the one in Bognor.
I'm pleased to say they never asked again. A most hellish week. Highlights were the pool being closed because someone had crapped in it, unable to use the "beach" because it was all stones and watching a load of pissheads puke over the bar floor at 3 in the afternoon. Fortunately, we didn't take the meal option as the lardarses were blocking the doors 30 minutes before it opened. And if the cleanliness in the dining room had been anything like our "luxury chalet" we'd have probably come down with something very nasty.
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
I see your holiday horror and raise you 'south coast caravan park' with 'uncle Nazi'

Every year my wifes family do a reunion, one year that I couldn't weasle out of was held at a caravan park near chichester at 'Uncle Nazi's' caravan. He's basically Alf Garnett without the comedy value or irony.
I don't know why, but none of my in-laws realised just how much of a racist he is. He actually uses words like 'nig nog' and 'darkies' thinking that's ok as he's not calling them gibsons dog.

Thank goodness there was alcohol.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
When my sister was a kid she used to be in majorettes, which is like cheer leading but shit.

We went to the national majorettes championships at Butlins.

It was ace. I was one of about 10 or 15 teenage males in the place surrounded by around 500 teenage girls.

I did lots of fingering.
 
When my sister was a kid she used to be in majorettes, which is like cheer leading but shit.

We went to the national majorettes championships at Butlins.

It was ace. I was one of about 10 or 15 teenage males in the place surrounded by around 500 teenage girls.

I did lots of fingering.
Ahhh the lost art of fingering.....have a like !
 

Latest Threads

Top