Butcher

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by lumpy2, Apr 30, 2013.

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  1. So I went to my local butcher today, and asked him "Have you got a capon?"

    He said "Nah, I just put me apron on back to front".
     
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  2. I went to the butchers and asked if he had a sheeps head.

    "No, It's just the way I comb my hair" he said.
     
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  3. She was only he butcher's daughter, but everyone was in for their chop.
     
  4. I asked the French waiter "do you have frogs legs?"

    "Oui" was the reply

    "Well hop out to the kitchen and bring me a cheese sandwich"
     
  5. Our butcher was asked, Do you have meat balls?

    he said, "Well I'm fucking sure they're not cotton wool ones"
     
  6. I can't understand it. All these jokes yet the kids should all be at school.....?:)
     
  7. My Mum asked our butcher "Do you keep dripping?"

    He replied "Yes"

    Mum then said "Then you should go and see a doctor"
     
  8. I like the welder's daughter- she had acetylene tits.
     
  9. Or, the coal miners' daughter. Everyone had a dig.
     
  10. Or, the teacher's daughter. She made the boys do it again and again until they got it right.
     
  11. Or the fishmongers daughter, she laid on the slab and said fillet

    Or she was the the RSM's daughter but she knew what Regiment
     
  12. Glasgow joke here

    Man walks into a chinese takeaway and says

    "Do you sell tinned pigeons?"

    Chinese guy says

    "Sorry, No can doo"
     
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  13. 1. I was in a Chinese restaurant the other day and out of curiosity I asked "do you have any Chinese Jews" The young man said he would check and came back shortly and said "No, but we have Orange joos or lemon joos"

    2. After my meal he asked how it was and I said "the chicken was rubbery" to which he replied "Fang you, I tell chef - he'll be vely preased"


    Is that the racist bus? Tell them I'm on my way
     
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  14. Which is the odd one out....

    3,6,9,12, or 14?
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    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
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    3 .......all the others come with fried rice.
     
  15. A Chinese bloke and a Greek bloke had restaurants side by side in the city. Every day for months the Greek gave the Chinese chef grief about his pronunciation of 'Fried Rice'.

    "Hows the flied lice?" The Greek would say with grin every day, to the displeasure of the Chinaman.

    Determined to give the Greek a surprise, he practised saying 'fried rice' over and over until one day he nailed it.

    "Fried rice!" "Fried rice!" The little yella fella was so happy with himself and couldn't wait for the Greek to give him his ususl ribbing.

    The next day as usual the Greek and Chinaman opened their establishments at the same time.

    "How's the flied lice?" asks the grinning Greek.

    The now confident Chinaman shoots back, "IT'S 'FRIED RICE' YOU SILLY GLEEK PLICK!"
     
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