bus stops I have known and loved

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by scrofula, Dec 9, 2008.

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  1. This subject came to me this evening whilst I was huddled amongst a pack of clothed monkeys waiting for my chauffeur-driven transport home. I suppose one of my personal faves was in Sheffield ( exact locatioin long since forgotten, sorry fans) where I got a quick but satisfying shag......
  2. in_the_cheapseats

    in_the_cheapseats LE Moderator

    A well loved one (once upon a time) was outside the Sally Gate of Fort George.

    Many a member of the guard has got his leg over there in return for a run back to Inverness in the duty transport......... :D
  3. Really Scoffycnut. Posting on forums is like using sellotape. Less is more.
  4. Being a Londoner I have lived my life, and will die by the Bus Code.
    I will die before I ever run for a bus. If you can't get to the bus without a leisurely stroll the you get the next bus or the one after that.
    When I first moved to Hull I met a girlfriend and we set off to go to town. I suggested a minicab but she, being a typical Yorkshire Lass (tight as fcuk) said no, we'd take the bus. We just got to the corner of her street and a bus passed the end. Quick, run she said. Yeh, right I laughed (it was so obvious to me that this was some sort of manhood test, she wanted to see if underneath the steel muscled warrior there was someone a bit uncool) and continued to stroll along, round the corner and the bus stop was maybe 15 yards ahead with the bus still there. C'mon she said let's run. Again a laugh, who does she think I am? The bus left and she was a little miffed. I just said relax, we'll get the next one. They only run every 2 hours you Cockney Wanker!
  5. The only one for me.

    Attached Files:

  6. Only gyppos travel by bus.
  7. On a positive note, at least some smart arsed twat can't accuse you of regurgitating old threads, or not using the search function. If this has been done before, I'll eat my cock.
  8. Clothespegs is it you want, or your fortune told?. I often have my fortune told here on buses. I can ask the person next to me whether I am going to have to suffer the smell of stale industrial alcohol, garlic and cabbage farts for the rest of my life...they ask me what name my destination is, and then tell me, accuratelyish, when the phenomenon will stop. Kin amazing.
  9. Scrofula, i don't know whether you are insane, on drugs or just a very good wind up merchant.

    However, to stay on thread, there is a stop in London (sadly gone due to the new shitey things) where i received my first hand job when i was a young Blackrat. Who said romance was dead. I used it as a toilet quite regularly as well.
  10. Ord Services Viersen, go out of the back gate, turn right (go under a bridge?) there was a bus stop there.

    05:00, Mess Kit, drink, needed a sh1t.

    That was a handy bus stop.
  11. Blackrat: all of those and more! I'll pm you the draft of my autobiog if you like. A Central European typed it by ear just to make it more interesting......and no, you can't depress keyboard keys by using your ear. You can only depress them by showing them a stenograph.

    To stay on thread, one of my fave busstops was in deepest. darkest Wales. Not a busstop really, just a piece of mud near a gate to a field eternally full of grass and nothing else next to a main road. The lovely thing was to be there when the hourly bus came. The indication that you were not one of God's chosen was to crest the hill from the village only to see the charabang departing. I know what you are thinking. An hour to kill, field, Mid-Wales. Why do you think I said the field was full of grass and nothing else?
  12. I don't know what the hell you smoke. Is it legal over here.
    I don't have a favorite bus shelter, but I do remember a certain bustop between Voss and Bomoen(spelling??) camp.
    After getting kicked out of the local nightclub and walking back to camp, I was caught short. I curled one down in the corner of a bus shelter.(More accurattley I splattered one out. Norwegian beer played havoc with my guts)
    I always wondered the next morning, if the local population blamed the afore mentioned frozen shoite on drunken squaddies or just put it down to shoite happens.
    You will be happy to know I survived that night, but it was a close run thing.
  13. Smoke strange stuff? Me? Ah, let's be honest, if it is plied I wont refuse. A very strange busstop story about that. One autumn night in Warsaw, having had a few of the honey vodkas with orange slices that were popular with my friends at the time, and smoked a bit of their version of North East London therapy cigs, I decided to embark on the maybe 4 k stroll home. After about 2 k I heard the familiar sound of a bus, and I happened to be right by a.... you guessed it. The bus stopped, there was no-one else on except the driver and a mate who was chatting up front. It got me home, and no, before you ask, they didnt do despicable things to me. The trouble is, according to the number of the bus, it should never have been there at that time of the morning. Luck? Smoke? Vodka? It happened and I don't care if anyone disputes it. Beyond the power of any substance lives a higher one, made of lard by the Ghurkas apparently.

    Well, even us dope addicts have to sleep, see ya chaps!
  14. I remember turning my ambulance into an improvised bus service in Voss. Used to go to a nightclub which had a Russian band playing, numbering amongst them three seriously tasty Russian birds.
  15. Please hole this thread!