Burying Bad News This Weekend

This weekend is clearly going to be the weekend for the government to bury anything they don't want us to hear about as the many millions of TV watching eyes out there are stuck with viewing the NOTW scandal.

So I'd like to take this opportunity to confess the following.

1. It was me who didn't flush the toilet thus leaving a 9inch bum snake standing proud in the bog on wednesday in work.
2. Jeff. It was me who scratched your car door when you left it outside Vimy the night before Tesex in 2002.
3. I have no intention of watering your plants when you go away next weekend. They're fcuking plants and its only 2 days.

I feel better already and who's gonna notice this weekend?
Earlier today my stepdaughter asked what I wanted in my packed lunch for tonight's night shift. " Something interesting please", says I, and left her to it. Now, some hours into the shift and on tea break, I fancy a snack and open the lunch box.
A bottle of pink nail varnish, a clothes peg, a screwdriver and a Indian cookery book. No fecking food though, so I rang 'er indoors. " Was it interesting enough?" she asked.

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