Burning Bush

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by MontyB, Sep 13, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. A Chav couple decide to take a last minute holiday to Benedorm.
    On their arrival that night, in their fifth floor room with a balcony overlooking the hotel pool. She says to her boyfriend I can't wait to get me bikini on and take a dip in the pool. He replies. "Yeah, get it on girl I can't wait to see you in it." She goes off to the bedroom and returns wearing a micro bikini, but she is crying. "What's the matter girl?" She replies. "Cos we came away in such a hurry I didn't have time to have me bikini line done, now look at me, all me bush is hanging out the sides and over the top." "Don't worry girl, I can shave you with me razor."
    He then attempts to remove the excess pubic hair with his razor, but it is proving to be quite stubborn. His partner starts to cry with frustration and the pain of the dull razor.
    Her partner says. "Don't cry girl I've got another idea, I have some lighter fuel, I can singe the rest off." With that he pours the lighter fuel on and sets light to her bush. The effect is that the flames take hold and she started screaming with pain. He tries to beat the flames out with no result. Unable to stand the pain any longer she dives off the balcony into the hotel pool to extinquish the flames.
    Two old pensioners are laid on sunbeds having a late night drink.
    One turns to the other and says, "George I think I just saw a Shooting Star land in the swimming pool." His mate replied. "No Fred, I think that was a Twatalight!"