Burglar hanging upside down

#1
I would have had some fun with this guy and not felt the urge to call the boys in blue :twisted:


This is the amazing scene of a burglar hanging upside down that greeted home owner Paul Ives when he returned home from work.


Thief John Pearce had got his foot caught after smashing his way through the glass and was left hanging upside down for more than an hour, unable to move.

Eventually, he was freed when Mr Ives called police and paramedics who managed to release Pearce's shoe and hauled him down.


Now the red-faced 32-year-old thief has appeared before Dartford magistrates in Kent where he admitted burglary with intent to steal.

Paul, 44, said: "The man must be the world's dumbest thief."


Paul arrived at his terraced house in Dartford to find the burglar hanging in his window. It is believed the laces in one of his trainers may have become caught.


The intruder had a hammer in his hand and at first tried to deny he had been breaking in.


He told the householder that he had spotted someone else trying to raid the house and had decided to stop him.


"I was stopping the burglars," he told Paul.


At this point a small crowd of onlookers gathered and began to mock the intruder
while others took pictures.

Paul said: "He was hanging upside down. His body was inside the house and he was stuck in the window with his foot outside.


"The more he struggled, the more he got jammed. When I got home, he still had the hammer in his hand which he had used to smash the main window and get some leverage.


"He was screaming to get him down and we were all saying : 'I don't think so.'


"He kept saying: 'I haven't done anything. I was stopping the burglars.'"


Mr Ives' girlfriend, Angela Gloyn, 32, said: "Afterwards we had a right giggle about it."


Pearce, from Dartford, was remanded in custody by Dartford magistrates.


He will be sentenced on September 5.
 
#2
Why does he have no baseball bats bruises over his body? I'm sure they would have been easily explained by him trying to free himself.

Brilliant!
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
Someone should indeed have stopped anyone from calling the rozzers in. They could have had fun with this c0ck for ages.
 
#4
What a dirty baghead ! Check out the tin ribs and the classy footwear ! I would like to think I would have chained him to the radiator in the garage and played with his bottom for a month or two, we can only dream.
 
#5
It would be good to introduce some Spanish culture to the UK. Anyone for a game of pinata?
 
#6
If ever there waas a time to break out hte air rifle :twisted:

Or the golf balls and clubs :D
 
#9
Now that he's used to it, can we hang him by the other end for a bit?
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#11
mediumwhiteamericano said:
But if he smashed the main window wtf did he get his foot caught up there?
Smashed the top R/H window, opened it then went in head first and the frame closed on his foot. He smashed the big front window from the inside to 'gain leverage'. Damned lucky a large shard of glass didnt slice his ribs open, eh?
 
#12
I think I'd have been tempted to use the hammer to mallet a non-lubricated cucumber up the fecker's hoop before Youtubing the cnut - and then call the cops*. Bring out the Gimp!

*It's my artistic side coming to the fore.
 
#13
What a tragedy,the poor lad was obviously hungry and cold and tired.So he thought he could find shelter and warmth in the house.I hope he has had counselling for the trauma that he has suffered.
You people should be ashamed that you have mocked this poor lad.I am sure that several weeks in the sunshine of Bermuda,being looked after by social services,will make him see the error of his ways.
 
#14
TheIronDuke said:
mediumwhiteamericano said:
But if he smashed the main window wtf did he get his foot caught up there?
Smashed the top R/H window, opened it then went in head first and the frame closed on his foot. He smashed the big front window from the inside to 'gain leverage'. Damned lucky a large shard of glass didnt slice his ribs open, eh?
Oh I see. Thanks Duke.

What a fantastic opportunity to really come face to face with crime :p
 
#15
Would have had several brews to ponder what to do with him next, whilst throwing the hot wet teabags at him.

Probably would have ended up with "Do you want the courts punishment or mine".

But then again he would have gone "Courts" as he probably knows they'll do feck all with him.
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#16
Dont give him the choice!
 
#18
You should have done the right thing and cut his shoe laces and let the little Fukc drop down onto the shards of glass. But first you could have got a crowd around so that everyone could laugh at him as he bled to death.

One less scum bag then!
 
#19
How long do you reckon it would have taken the thieving little pikey gippo c**t to drip-dry if you'd taken a Stanley to his jugular?

Enough time to for the kettle to boil?
 
#20
but then you got all the mess to clean up :roll:
oh for one of those fully automatic airsoft guns scare the shit out of him and then hurt him but not enough to kill.
mind you I d just smear him in dog food and let the dogs at him :twisted:
 
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