Bumper stickers

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by portlandbill, Jun 15, 2011.

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    Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death
    Conserve toilet paper, use both sides
    Don’t come knocking if the car is rocking
    Don’t Steal....The Government hates Competition
    99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name
    A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain
    All men are Idiots, and I married their King
    Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film facility
    Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies
    Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW
    I love cats...they taste just like chicken
    What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
    Why is ’abbreviation’ such a long word?
    Save Water - Take a bath with your neighbor’s daughter
    Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill
    I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car
    If you are psychic - think HONK
    I’m as confused as a baby in a topless bar
    It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats
    Keep honking, I’m reloading
    Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control
    Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else
    As long as there are tests, there will be prayers in public schools
    Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
    Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
    Honk if anything falls off
    I are proud to be a college student
    For a small town, there sure are a lot of assholes!
    "If ass holes could fly, this place would be an airport!"
    Honk to see finger!
    "Better a blow job, than no job!"
    My Otha Ride is YO MOMMA!
    Work hard, the people on welfare depend on you!
    I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.
    Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don’t have any film.
    Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an asshole.
    Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
    My Otha Ride is YO MOMMA!
    WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
    A woman need a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
    My son is inmate of the month!
    I wish I was Barbie...That BITCH has everything!
    It looks like you bought that car from Dollar General!
    It’s fun to cheat on a test but, not on people
    Honk if you`ve never seen an uzi fired out the back of a car window.
    No fat chicks...........I just got new tyres
    P.E.T.A.- People. Eating Tasty Animals
    CAUTION: Your daughter might be on board
    Hang up and drive!
    Welcome to America ..... Now speak English
    Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
    Heart Attacks...God’s revenge for eating His animal friends.
    Guys...just because you have one, doesn’t mean you have to be one.
    Don’t like my driving? Then quit watching me.
    Save your breath...You’ll need it to blow up your date.
    Some people just don’t know how to drive...I call these people: Everybody, But Me."
    If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
    The proctologist called...they found your head.
    Impotence...Nature’s way of saying "No hard feelings."
    Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.
    may be a cold hearted and a unloving bitch, but I’m damn good at it
    How am I driving? Call 1800-KISS-MY-ASS
    I’m not an alcholic
    Alcoholics go to meetings
    I am a drunk
    Dont laugh at my ride, your daughter may be in it!
    Horn broke watch for finger
    I’m not pshycotic, I cant read your mind.
    Keep staring I might do a trick.
    Chicks dig my ride.
    I found Jesus... he was behind the coach the whole time.
    I didn’t sell my soal to satan...... but we did work out a rent to own deal.
    Dyslexic satan worshipers think they’re worshipping Santa.
    I haven’t been the same since that house fell on my sister.
    Everyone has the right to be stupid but you abuse the privlige.
    I smile because I have no Idea whats going on.
    Guys: just because you have one, doesn’t mean you have to be one.
    STOPIt takes a bitch like me to love a bastard like him
    If god wanted people to be queer he would have created adam and steve.
    Your village called they said that they are missing an idot.
    Ass, gas or grass no one rides for free
    Safe Sex Sucks So Screw Someone Special
    If you’re gonna ride my ass, could you atleast pull my hair!?
    Let go of my ears, I know what im doin!
    Who Lit The Fuse On YOUR Tampon??
    Maybe you could driver better if that phone was up your ass
    All men are like dogs you must train them first or they will go into someone elses yard
    I’m PMSing so get put of my way
    If you can read this your a nosey little bitch
    FOLLOWING ME, I don’t know where I’m going
  2. HHH

    HHH LE

    I give you your due, you're definitely doing your bit to help Global Warming, by recycling so much!!