bullying

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by sunflower, Nov 30, 2005.

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  1. I am not on about recent events in the press.... This is closer to home. The news this week said that bullying in our schools was dropping, yet they seem to be more vicious. Take the young girl who was recently slashed across the face with a small blade.

    I My case is not that severe and hope it will never be as it concerns my 7 year old daughter! I have never used the word bullying until recently, because some kid play rough and they can all have a rough and tumble like the next kid, but when your usually bright child starts to cry unconsolably in her sleep, acts unruly at home and school and is not the special little girl that normaly brightens up your day.... then something needs to be done. I have to give her teacher 10/10 for recognising instantly my daughters work and behaviour changes at school and that helped me realize that her behaviour at home was linked.

    My daughter and i have a good relationship, but i put her few days of misbehaving down to a heavy cold and not sleeping well and on having a mummy/daughter chat she said that one of her teachers told her to 'play nice and not worry!' which she thought was the thing to do.

    I have to say that reading your childs body language and spending time listening can quash what could turn out to be a VERY frightening and life changing experience for a young child (and adult in some cases)

    Thank you for letting me vent this worry
     
  2. I would suggest a short period of Rocky 4 style training for your daughter.

    Rigorous exercise with a heavy rock soundtrack will enable her to go from wimp to supergirl in approximately 3 minutes.

    She will then be equipped to conduct a protracted scrap with the bully. Every time the bully lands a dig on your girl, she will simply reply "You ain't so baaaad," before going on to score a 12th round TKO.

    I think this is in the teacher training manual.
     
  3. Ignoring the crappy answer above, bullying needs to be dealt with, and severley. Quick phone call to the school to talk to the head teacher is best, avoid the junior teachers as they won't pack the punch to deal with the problem. If they could, they'd have already done it. I recently confronted a bully fo mine for a number of years (in the ACF, he was in his fifties and a CSM!), because the chain of command were inept. Talk to the school head, I'm sure they'll be happy to help
     
  4. Ignore the crappy answer above at your peril Tsar Nikolas. The ability to deliver a Hollywood style, teeth shattering blow to a bully is a very effective method.

    I sort of agree with you when you say 'bullying needs ot be deat with, and severley' but would need to read the english version to be certain.

    Get her on the Russian treadmill with a 45 degree incline followed by some tree trunk bench press and she'll be knocking out nasty kids all day.
     
  5. I agree totally with Tsar, Go staight to the top, speak to the head and if you get no joy there, some schools are more worried about their 'image' than looking after their pupils. I have family in the profession and have seen this first hand! If that doesn't work go straight to the local education authority. I'm sure your daughter is the most important thing in the world to you, as my kids are to me, don't be fobbed off with half answers and false promises. If the school is a good one then they'll deal with it if not then dig you heels in and go for the throat!!! If things aren't getting done to your satisfaction, threaten them with the press, in the days of leauge tables etc. the things that scares them the most is nagative publicity. I sincerely hope that it doesn't come to that and you can get this all sorted as quickly as possible.
    All the best
    Grumpy
     
  6. Eye of the tiger Sunflower, Eye of the Tiger
     
  7. Oh dear, Sunflower - you posted this in the NAAFI, so you'll get some, erm, interesting suggestions! Will some kind Mod please move this to 'The Other Half'?
     
  8. I recently had to give a chat at a high school and was invited to have lunch in the cook house the behaviour had to be seen to be believed !!!

    A total disregard for any teacher shouting, swearing, fighting and not to mention so many differant versions of what passess for a school uniform i thought i was at chav's R US.

    Had to step in at one point because two fifteen year old lads were squaring up to a female teacher over a a school tie issue, its funny how quickly a tie gets done up and apoligies issued with a couple of words in someones ear!

    Discipline is a dirty word the and majority of teachers are way out of their depth and just want to avoid any confrontation.

    As to what the answer is i dont know but a good start would be something along the lines of an RP for a school who's sole job is to inforce the rules but having the ability to ragg individuals for non compliance etc
     
  9. The answer is all in communication. Pull the offending child to one side, gain it's trust and then whisper confidentially "Your Mummy and Daddy don't love each other anymore, and soon you will have to go and live in a nasty place". Get a female friend to ring the mother at home and say "he's mine now, Bitch, and you're just in the way". Get a male friend to ring the mother and say "Tell that cnut to keep away from my wife". Call the local child protection unit from a payphone and tell them the child was overheard saying "Daddy touches me in a special place but I"m not allowed to tell Mummy". Then stand back and watch the fun.
     
  10. No, keep it in here.

    You think i'm joking, in which case, I can refer you to the government sponsored Pullman Commission which investigated bullying in 1989. Lord Pullman made many recommendations which later became standard practice throughout the teaching world. He summarised the entire report as follows.

    "It is the opinion of this commission that the continued occurrence of bullying throughout schools in the United Kingdom is unacceptable. We hope that the commissions recommendations will bear fruit in the next ten years, reducing and eventually eradicating a problem that has been given scant attention over the decades. It is hoped that the principal recommendation is accepted forthwith. All primary schools will be issued the Rocky 3 soundtrack within the next month. From that moment on, the little Clubber Langs of this world will quake in their boots. Our children, with the help of former world champion Apollo Creed, will quickly move to become great fighters and knuckle those little fcukers into the dust."

    I think that's right.
     
  11. Avre
    Had a similar experience a few years ago. My ex-wife was a teacher at a high school and I decieded to go meet her after work whilst on leave. The staff all knew who I was so I had no problems walking about the shcool after getting past the security on the front door. Anyway, as I was walking down the main corridor I hear a bit of fuss and turned a corner to see two lads 14/15 years old being seperated by the deputy head ( an awsome woman, in her 50's, 5 foot 1 and fierce as f**k). As she held these two lads apart, one of them from his back pocket produced a blade. I just happen to be standing right behind this unfortunate youth at the time and promptly 'goose necked' him and (none too gently) put him on the floor for the rozzers to collect. Anyway, I thought this was the end of it but that night, 2 x coppers appear on my door step. "Come in " says I thinking that they are there to take statements about the incident. I was mistaken! They were actually there to tell me that a complaint against me for assult against me by this lads mother.(one of those 'no my son would never do anything like that' types) Anyway to cut a long story short, the complaint never came to anything but I couldn't believe that I was in the sh1te for helping someone out.
     
  12. The majority of teachers are not out of their depth, they know that if they try to enforce discipline then they will face invesigation, suspension and the sack.

    I know the answer to the problem.
    If your kid disobeys the rules in school then the parents get to share the punishment.

    Can you imagine it. 200 Wayne and Tracys' sat in school on a saturday afternoon doing detention along with their small tribe of offspring :)

    The big question to be answered though is why do these little darlings feel/know they can get away with all the stuff they do in school? It is because the parents ie you and me have allowed the situation to develop to that level.

    I am not just talking about disciplining your own children here this is a much bigger problem than that. If a teacher discplines a child and the kid complains to "the authorities" then the teacher is in the sh1t no matter what the actual facts of the matter are. Now who is to blame for this state of affairs?
    We are because we allowed all these recycled hippies/behaviour consultants etc etc to change the laws.
     
  13. sunflower mate - get her to judo classes. make her much more confident, and it is amazing how quickly one picks up things which bullies dont really like :)

    seriously. do it. then add karate to the mix when she gets to 9 or 10.

    relying on teachers is a double-edged sword. there is no better solution than allowing the child a back-up plan, for when teacher isnt around.

    and judo is handy if she is small. worked for me when i was 11 and got (briefly) bullied by a 15 year old! :)
     
  14. I can agree with this, I used to be bullied in year 5 (9-10 years old) because I moved to a new school. One day the main bully decided to try and take me on by himself, but I had taken up Karate a few months before so I won the fight. Needless to say I didn't get bullied anymore and we actually became friends for a while. However, I can also see that this won't work for everyone.
     
  15. On a note of caution though.

    Once she triumphs over the bully, be careful that she doesn't let the victory go to her head, or before you know it, she'll be on Skid Row, fighting kangaroos for a fiver a time.