Bullsh!t and Tall Stories...

#1
So, there's a certain individual in my regiment who is the biggest bullsh!tter I think I have ever seen, he's the kind of guy who if you've just bought a helicopter, he's already got 6. I could go on forever about his porkies but here are the biggest and most random stories he has told:

1) He used to be in the grenadier guards but got kicked out because he was caught smoking when he was supposed to be guarding Buckingham Palace?!!

2) His ex-girlfriend was a chinook pilot and took him for a few rides around whenever he asked her

3) When he was a spacey (I doubt he even was) he went gliding but the glider was going to crash so he had to parachute out of it

4) His dad is a millionairre and owns a tyre factory, he is frequently flown out to Madagascar to see his dads holiday home out there

and finally the most random lie I have ever heard in my entire life:
5) He used to be an ice cream man, and one customer (a 15 year old blonde) used to suck him off everyday after school, instead of paying for her cornetto

Now, I'm sure all of you know someone like this so out with it please :)

I know this is pretty similar to the walt thread, and MODs delete it if it has been done before...
 
#2
JWRRC318 said:
and finally the most random lie I have ever heard in my entire life:
5) He used to be an ice cream man, and one customer (a 15 year old blonde) used to suck him off everyday after school, instead of paying for her cornetto
Get him on tape telling this Tale and shop him to the Monkeys for Being a Peado.
 
#3
theiftaker said:
JWRRC318 said:
and finally the most random lie I have ever heard in my entire life:
5) He used to be an ice cream man, and one customer (a 15 year old blonde) used to suck him off everyday after school, instead of paying for her cornetto
Get him on tape telling this Tale and shop him to the Monkeys for Being a Peado.
Or find out if the blonde has got a 15 years old sister who has the same "tastes". I'm sure we could hire an ice cream van.
 
#4
Know a chap who say's he's ex 22, originally Life Guards, & whilst serving in Bosnia he shot & killed a copper because he saw him shoot a kids dog! :lol:
 
#5
jarrod248 said:
brummieboy1 said:
theiftaker said:
JWRRC318 said:
and finally the most random lie I have ever heard in my entire life:
5) He used to be an ice cream man, and one customer (a 15 year old blonde) used to suck him off everyday after school, instead of paying for her cornetto
Get him on tape telling this Tale and shop him to the Monkeys for Being a Peado.
Or find out if the blonde has got a 15 years old sister who has the same "tastes". I'm sure we could hire an ice cream van.
It could have been the mong school
That's certainly more plausible, if you could see his face you'd understand...
 
G

gdm.bizkit

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#6
I can get an icecream van, only need a 30 minute pre warning before this plan is in action and we're sorted.
 
#7
In the early 90s when I was a lowly Bty Clerk, a guy I came into my office to do his Next of Kin. He filled in the paperwork, handed it over for me to check and the address for his father as NOK was the NASA space centre. I told him to F O and stop taking the pi55, get it done properly.

Off he went to his room and brought back a letter from his dad on NASA headed paper complete with his appointment etc etc etc. This guys dad really was a rocket scientist!
 

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