bulled boots

Discussion in 'OTC and ACF' started by digger8205, Jun 13, 2004.

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  1. can anyone please tell me how to bull a pair of boots??
    i've tried klear but they still look sh1t. Alot of my family were in the army (Black Watch) and there boots always looked like someone had put glass on them.
  2. I know this sounds weird and unlikely, but what you have to actually do is urinate in them. It doesn't sound nice but that's what you have to do.

    Before you just laugh and think I'm winding you up, read on first. I'm not winding you up.

    Stick the boots on a tray or in a little bucket and for a day, instead of going to the toilet just lag in them instead.

    Let that soak in for a day or two (believe me this is what they do in the Guards). What's happening is that the bacteria in your piss is breaking down the molecules in the leather from the inside out (that's why you have to urinate on the inside of them) which in turn enables the bonding agents from the polish to adhere effectively (some bloke once swore by actually shitting on them but I think that's a bit unnecessary - depends how far you want to go with this). Of course, before applying polish you know that you have to rub the outside of the boots with garlic (just a normal fresh clove from the greengrocer will do) before they dry for it to be 100% effective. After you've done this, allow to dry and then set about the boots with a good load of Kiwi black boot polish.

    Leave overnight and voila!

    Good luck with your boot prep!
  3. Seriously?
    Can anyone confirm this, before I piss in my boots? :)

    EDIT: Well, bugger me. Apparently it's true. ;)
  4. Female urine is actually better because of the type of enzymes in it
    which cause the bacteria in the leather to break down at a faster rate.
    If you need any give us a shout lol :D
  5. Digger,
    Crazy as it sounds - it's true.
    I was a US Navy musician for many years and travelled extensively round the world. It was important for us to have boots that sparkled when we gave concerts - I was a vocalist incidentally.
    So I know a bit about shiny boots. First thing we taught new recruits to the Navy band - our bit was called the Sea Chanters (look us up on the web!) was a similar technique to the one above. Actually, instead of human shite we used raccoon or cat shite to coat the boats after the urine treatment. If you ain't got animal though you can use human if you know what I mean!

    Very strange I know - but definitely true. Happy Polishing :D
  6. bet they smell great...
  7. is this a f*ckin' windup???

    is there any other way, i mean i did manage to bull my boots in basic training and it didn't involve p1ss or sh1t!!
  8. Mate, there are a lot of things that are bloody weird in the armed forces and this is one of them. I was pretty surprised when I heard about this as well but it fecking works wonders!

    Maybe someone from another thread would like to either confirm or deny this?
  9. brigade of guards 22 yrs
    12 trooping the colours
    CSgt at RMAS. so I know what I'm talking about ref boots
    that technique is definitely the best way to prepare your boots
    all true
    we used to use horseshit from the stables when I was at Wellington Bks
  10. okay, i'll try it.....just got to persuade the wife to p1ss on them now.
    by the way, how do you get rid of the smell of p1ss and sh1t??
  11. don't know about the wife thing
    the thing about female enzymes in p1ss has been around a while but not proven so it might be tricky getting wife involved

    as for smell, they actually won't smell esp after the polish.
  12. does it matter whether the poo belongs to a boy or girl?
  13. I doubt there's been scientific trials on it!
    No love it's more important what's been eaten in the previous hours and what enzymes are present. Garlic is useful (but I think that's been mentioned already) as is Chilli pepper. Anything very hot and spicy (vindaloo if you can eat them) will create the right effect.
    Obviously wear rubber gloves putting it on!
    Done well your boots will stand out from the rest-Well worth the effort
  14. Sorry to sound Vanilla,
    But isn't this called Water Sports if you're not in the army?

    As to asking the wife to pee on your boots,
    I’d think that one through a little longer....
    I’ve heard of divorce citations that start with that line...
  15. i suppose it would be best to avoid eating too nutty before hand cos it might scratch the surface