Building Site Practical Jokes

#1
Afternoon All

I need some practical jokes for a building site to get some shoites back! As the only resident engineer on site I am generally the butt of all the jokes!

Today I had sellotape round the drivers door of my car, couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t open the door!

Anywho, anyone got any good ones I can use?

Cheers

G82
 
#3
Expanding foam - squirted in desk draws, monitors etc.....
I've often wondered what would happen if squirted up a trouts chuff?

Crapping in ventilation grills is always worth a giggle when it comes round to commissioning.
 
#6
Finishing the job to a high standard within budget and on time......


Now that's a joke. :wink:
 
#7
Sealant in wellies/boots - superglue cups to table
 
#8
FatBoyGeorge said:
You're an engineer and you couldn't figure it out?
I must have missed that lecture on the characteristics and appilcations of hand held, fast setting, self expanding polyurethane foam when injected into a human orrifice - silly me.
 
#10
Cait said:
FatBoyGeorge said:
You're an engineer and you couldn't figure it out?
I must have missed that lecture on the characteristics and appilcations of hand held, fast setting, self expanding polyurethane foam when injected into a human orrifice - silly me.
Steady Cait. I think he's having a pop at the thread starter. Are you on the rag or something?

Anyway, you're supposed to be dead....
 
#12
Cholmondley-Warner said:
Cait said:
FatBoyGeorge said:
You're an engineer and you couldn't figure it out?
I must have missed that lecture on the characteristics and appilcations of hand held, fast setting, self expanding polyurethane foam when injected into a human orrifice - silly me.
Steady Cait. I think he's having a pop at the thread starter. Are you on the rag or something?
Ah ok, I'll shut the fu.ck up then :D
I had womb cancer last week, took my overies out to give them a wash & forgot to pop them back in - might explain the touchyness though.

Not my site but a pals, building a Radisson Hotel, just at the final fix stages but they are being plagued by a mystery site vandal known only as "black marker".........no sooner has a room been signed off as complete, murals of nobs and fannys appear on the backs of the doors & above bed spaces in black marker. Been going on for weeks I get a daily photo of the latest graffiti :D
 
#13
Next time someone "gets you," with a practical joke pick up a heavy, blunt instrument that will invariably be lying close at hand and beat the main protagonists to death with it... That's always good for a giggle.

Kick the legs af the surveyor's EDM / total station / theodolite.
Wait for him to set it back up and repeat...

Burn all the plans.

Steal all the kettles
 
#14
FatBoyGeorge said:
You're an engineer and you couldn't figure it out?

Just keep picking up tools and moving them as you walk around the site.
It was a tad embarrassing!

Didn't take long to solve the problem though, what with my superior intellect etc!

I might piss in their industrial tea thermos!
 
#17
Just before laying a concrete floor, take a piece of electrical cable/conduit, or a piece of water pipe, stick it in the sub-floor, just sit back and watch the electricians and plumbers try to figure whats up.
If its a chippy you want to get, just screw his toolbox to the wall.
hours of fun to be had, just don't come to my site though.
 
#18
Galileo82 said:
FatBoyGeorge said:
You're an engineer and you couldn't figure it out?

Just keep picking up tools and moving them as you walk around the site.
It was a tad embarrassing!

Didn't take long to solve the problem though, what with my superior intellect etc!

I might urine in their industrial tea thermos!
Wish I was there to watch you get more and more confused. Cling film over the toilet is always good, but you need time to do it right. NO CREASES WHATSOEVER!

It's ok Cait, I understand; it's a "woman thing."
 
#20
If you are going to pee in kettles/thermoses (thermi?) then there are, as always, two approaches.

Method one - gradual and evil
Day one, pop a tbsp of wee in. Day two a little more, until by day 10 the main component of the tea is wee. Go gradually and you will acclimatize them to wee-tea, until day 11 when you return to water. The "Does this tea taste strange" conversations the day I returned to H2O based brews drove me insane trying not to laugh, when I did it to the Newbury bin-collectors (who refused to give any of their Xmas boxes to the student who had been doing most of their work for three weeks)!

Method two - massive and total revenge
All wee, no tea. This approach is immensely satisfying, watching the spluttering and blurting out. However it is a one off and unless you are a sprint campeen or a Cage fighting champ then it is unwise to use it. Although there is a self defence ploy, where you also spit out your tea and pretend to be horrified and outraged.
 

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