Building Site Practical Jokes

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Galileo82, Jun 20, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Afternoon All

    I need some practical jokes for a building site to get some shoites back! As the only resident engineer on site I am generally the butt of all the jokes!

    Today I had sellotape round the drivers door of my car, couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t open the door!

    Anywho, anyone got any good ones I can use?


  2. you could set fire to their boots, NG Bailey style.
  3. Expanding foam - squirted in desk draws, monitors etc.....
    I've often wondered what would happen if squirted up a trouts chuff?

    Crapping in ventilation grills is always worth a giggle when it comes round to commissioning.
  4. You're an engineer and you couldn't figure it out?

    Just keep picking up tools and moving them as you walk around the site.
  5. Tell ‘em Germany’s invaded Poland again – should wind most of ‘em up
  6. Finishing the job to a high standard within budget and on time......

    Now that's a joke. :wink:
  7. Sealant in wellies/boots - superglue cups to table
  8. I must have missed that lecture on the characteristics and appilcations of hand held, fast setting, self expanding polyurethane foam when injected into a human orrifice - silly me.
  9. print off a big notice that says "ALL DAYWORKS CANCELLED", pin it up in canteen hut and sit back and enjoy.
  10. Steady Cait. I think he's having a pop at the thread starter. Are you on the rag or something?

    Anyway, you're supposed to be dead....
  11. Use a digger to flip some cnuts car onto its roof, itll be hilarious. Double points if its a soft top
  12. Ah ok, I'll shut the up then :D
    I had womb cancer last week, took my overies out to give them a wash & forgot to pop them back in - might explain the touchyness though.

    Not my site but a pals, building a Radisson Hotel, just at the final fix stages but they are being plagued by a mystery site vandal known only as "black marker" sooner has a room been signed off as complete, murals of nobs and fannys appear on the backs of the doors & above bed spaces in black marker. Been going on for weeks I get a daily photo of the latest graffiti :D
  13. Next time someone "gets you," with a practical joke pick up a heavy, blunt instrument that will invariably be lying close at hand and beat the main protagonists to death with it... That's always good for a giggle.

    Kick the legs af the surveyor's EDM / total station / theodolite.
    Wait for him to set it back up and repeat...

    Burn all the plans.

    Steal all the kettles
  14. It was a tad embarrassing!

    Didn't take long to solve the problem though, what with my superior intellect etc!

    I might piss in their industrial tea thermos!
  15. Jolly Japes with Portaloos and Forklifts?