Buggered arm: what to do?

Cleverly, the Haddock has broken his arm. Nothing too nasty but a beasty shoulder-to-wrist cast makes me look 'ard. Well, maybe that's an oxymoron, but never mind, I like to think I am.

The first bit of bad news is it's me right arm. In other words, for the ladies - me pleasuring arm. :eek: Dammit.

Faced for the next 6 weeks with an arm useless for any creamy sports, I'm looking for a replacement. Nearest whore perhaps? But they're not exactly known for being gentle, wouldn't like one of them bouncing around close to a snapped bone. [The bone in my arm before you start thinking....]

So, what do I do? Learn to greet the one-eyed milkman left-handed? Hump the nearest sheep?

Ideas suggestions please... :cry:


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It would appear that the muscles in your left wrists are about to become quite pronounced. But look on the bright side - when you get to the 'tickly' bit you can change hands and it will feel like someone else doing the business (I leave the rest to your imagination).
While I'm at it, any uses for a feck orf big cast apart from the obvious primary use of t.watting the occasional chavonabike from a car window.......?
can i sugest blatant attention seeking, bad grammer, with loads of typo's maybe a touch of racist claptrap, and a healthy dollop of ignorance... cos it worked for mooch/yannie/lawstudent...

no wait, sorry, i take it back...

just go aiming for the sympathy shag, you'll get loads mate. us girls are a sucker for a sob story, and an "itch you can't scratch" lol

*edited to add*
brightside of this is, you'll be in no position to HAVE to reciprocate, unless said lass sits on your face of course.


major brownie points for thinking of twotting some chav's while you "didn't mean to hofficer, honest sir" its a win win, except in this heat where someone with a knitting needle might just be your angel :wink:
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