Bug out time imminent ... thoughts please?

#81
My parents effectively brought the house for my Nan, back in the day. A large 3 bedroom house which due to it's situation has an astronomically large garden.

As Nan, was convinced they were going to kick her out or something, they agreed to buy it in her name with a legal charge set against it, so in the event of death or permanent care needs, the house reverts back to them.

A lot of hassle, but she is now 'temporarily' in a nursing home, doubtful of her ever coming out and all hell is being proclaimed over an empty sat house with a price tag of £200k, with family members who never decided to buy in saying they want it left open in case she comes back (she's been in a home at 97, for 18 months) attracting insurance premiums for being abandoned. Also, fending off the Council and still paying a premium due to the fact that he want a decent care home.

A council will usually stick a legal charge on the property themselves when relating to day & dom care, however they are buggered if there is already one in place.

There was a trick missed, if the house was in my parents name, they could have rented it back via a subsidised rate apparently. It would have prevented the Council from 'reviewing' it to see if they could put thier own legal charge in place, but they have already got short shrift off our solicitor.
 
#82
A friend of mine who had his own company and wasn't dependent on being in the workplace all day every day chose not to put his mum and dad into care when they became infirm. He did the caring himself for several years until they eventually passed away. It wasn't an easy task mostly because the authorities could have sectioned them and taken them into care.

Two Doctors attended his parents house to see what facilities were in place for looking after them. He had received a Council grant so adaptations were already installed including a downstairs wet room with toilet and shower facilities. He also had to go on an approved course and pass it so he could be qualified to do what he was doing.

The upside for him was that apart from the fact he was happy to do it, as an only child, the house was willed to him and he got the lot when his parents did pass away.
 
#83
Oh COME ON! Use your imagination. Although, I'll concede that you might not know what a jumper is. In this context it's a "sweater".

You are Beavis or Butt-Head and I claim my 5 bucks.
Well a jumper here more or less to refers to somebody who is going to commit suicide.
To me it just came across naturally, as larger unkempt person about to swan dive off a rather tall building or bridge. As the OP was feeling pretty down the idea of her being a Strat did not cross my mind.

This is what happens when the language forks, and seperate paths branch off. Call it an overt amount of caution but if it sounds like suicide, or smells like it you would be going to the mental health folks.
 
#84
My mother put my name as joint on her bank accounts, when she passed away I told my sister that she might as well have mums savings (not a huge amount but enough not to be sneered at) as me and the Mrs are ok financially but my sister says it feels wrong to take it. So its not been touched.
 
#85
Well a jumper here more or less to refers to somebody who is going to commit suicide.
To me it just came across naturally, as larger unkempt person about to swan dive off a rather tall building or bridge. As the OP was feeling pretty down the idea of her being a Strat did not cross my mind.

This is what happens when the language forks, and seperate paths branch off. Call it an overt amount of caution but if it sounds like suicide, or smells like it you would be going to the mental health folks.
If you used English as your first language you wouldn't have these problems:)
 

MrBane

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#87
I've dealt with a fair bit of family scamming elderly parents in a professional capacity. One lass had fleeced her mum of about £30k with no-one else realising.

To be fair, it seems to happen more in working class or unemployed kids than those well off for obvious reasons.

@thegimp There are articles out there aimed at those risk averse people. I can't recall off the top of my head but Google obvious things like 'Why should you give everything to your kids' or something like that. I read a few good ones that outline how the state basically fucks you rotten.

There are essentially two stages:

1. Dispose of savings. All cash gets dished out to relevant people before things turn for the worse. Done with full mental capacity and with no legal fees. My gran just did it and gave everyone relevant a few K each leaving her with just enough to get by on.

2. Shift ownership of estate. If the house is mortgage free, sell it for peppercorn rates and ensure that in the deeds, provisions are made for the previous owners to reside until death. Also if you want, ensure provisions are in for what happens to any money from a sale, who it is split with, etc.
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
#88
I've dealt with a fair bit of family scamming elderly parents in a professional capacity. One lass had fleeced her mum of about £30k with no-one else realising.

To be fair, it seems to happen more in working class or unemployed kids than those well off for obvious reasons.

@thegimp There are articles out there aimed at those risk averse people. I can't recall off the top of my head but Google obvious things like 'Why should you give everything to your kids' or something like that. I read a few good ones that outline how the state basically fucks you rotten.

There are essentially two stages:

1. Dispose of savings. All cash gets dished out to relevant people before things turn for the worse. Done with full mental capacity and with no legal fees. My gran just did it and gave everyone relevant a few K each leaving her with just enough to get by on.

2. Shift ownership of estate. If the house is mortgage free, sell it for peppercorn rates and ensure that in the deeds, provisions are made for the previous owners to reside until death. Also if you want, ensure provisions are in for what happens to any money from a sale, who it is split with, etc.

Also, try and hang out in the family home until you're sixty. (Not @Sixty obviously).

They can't touch you then.

Born five years too late in my case. Bastards.
 
#89
I know someone who is in a situation where he has worked out that it would be advantageous to hide his savings so that he will qualify for housing benefit and suchlike.
He was advised to invest in fine art, or A couple of rare watches.
Get the stuff insured or get a safe deposit box. That way you can show the relevant authority that you are skint with a clear conscience but still have realizable assets.
 
#90
StBob072, take a piece of the house with you, something that is a token or symbol of your everyday life there. The door handle to your bedroom Is a good example, it may be an inanimate object, but will act as a physical reminder that will trigger memories in the future.
Another small thing you can do is leave a permanent mark, carving the names of those in your family (including yours) and dates they lived there in a spot that is out of the way and hidden ie: a cellar beam , loft beam etc. I only brought this up as I found the same thing in my house, with the last date being 1966 and I just left it untouched as it meant something to someone and added to the physical history of my property.
 
#91
StBob072, take a piece of the house with you, something that is a token or symbol of your everyday life there. The door handle to your bedroom Is a good example, it may be an inanimate object, but will act as a physical reminder that will trigger memories in the future.
Another small thing you can do is leave a permanent mark, carving the names of those in your family (including yours) and dates they lived there in a spot that is out of the way and hidden ie: a cellar beam , loft beam etc. I only brought this up as I found the same thing in my house, with the last date being 1966 and I just left it untouched as it meant something to someone and added to the physical history of my property.
I took a reminiscence trip to my uni town and then my birth city where all the family for three gen came from.

Went to my grandparents old house where I stayed a lot where my dads big family was brought up.
On the cobbled back street carved into the sandstone kerb infront of the back gate was my dads and uncles name. It was very poignant touching it

I’m not normally a soft **** but that was definitely a moment
 
#92
A house can be sold for whatever price is agreed between buyer and seller. £1 is a common price for the purposes of what we're all talking about.
The tax man may beg to differ...
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
#93
StBob072, take a piece of the house with you, something that is a token or symbol of your everyday life there. The door handle to your bedroom Is a good example, it may be an inanimate object, but will act as a physical reminder that will trigger memories in the future.
Another small thing you can do is leave a permanent mark, carving the names of those in your family (including yours) and dates they lived there in a spot that is out of the way and hidden ie: a cellar beam , loft beam etc. I only brought this up as I found the same thing in my house, with the last date being 1966 and I just left it untouched as it meant something to someone and added to the physical history of my property.
I'm taking the sideboard, that eternal repository of board games, bottles of dubious beverages,
Copper ashtrays from HMS Rodney and a framed photo of my grandfather accepting the Smith trophy for best turnout, as station officer brompton fire station circa 1937.
 

SauceDoctor

On ROPS
On ROPs
#95
A house can be sold for whatever price is agreed between buyer and seller. £1 is a common price for the purposes of what we're all talking about.
Sounds right. I have vague recollections of "making it legal". My folks got a fair price. My own gaff is worth twice that, but when they pop their clogs I'm moving back in. If the long haired CO doesn't like it, no bother.
What the bloody hell was Ford thinking when they put that face on the Scorpio? And as for making a hearse out of the fecking munter... like being driven to your grave inside Joey Deacon ffs.
It (The Frog-Eyed Scorpio) was designed by an woman. Really, I'm not joking! Ford don't often get it wrong, but when they do (think Edsel) they get it wrong in spectacular style. Great for scrapping and sticking the engine in a Capri/Cortina/Escort. Not for poofery, that is a heavy ****** of an engine.

I want to be fired down the Hangar Straight at 500MPH in a Rover 800 when I croak. Will settle for a hole in the ground in Carrickfergus.
 
#96
Also, try and hang out in the family home until you're sixty. (Not @Sixty obviously).

They can't touch you then.

Born five years too late in my case. Bastards.
Whatever you do, don't let @Sixty into your house. He is of a Caledonian persuasion I believe and ergo, possessed of the sort of unspeakably bad habits that all civilised people should be shielded from.
 
#98
Too late. We've infiltrated the uncivilised parts as well! England!
I know of the Scottish colony at Corby in the McMidlands but I always believed the heathen hordes were fully contained there.

Please say you haven't broken free of the enclave and are even now running virulently through God's own green and pleasant England contaminating all that was once deep fried mars bar free?
 
#99
I know of the Scottish colony at Corby in the McMidlands but I always believed the heathen hordes were fully contained there.

Please say you haven't broken free of the enclave and are even now running virulently through God's own green and pleasant England contaminating all that was once deep fried mars bar free?
We've even penetrated into deepest, darkest Cornwall, *boi. Nowhere's safe. we will hunt you down, root you out, and destroy civilisation where ever it pops up! Sleep (un)easy!

*Say it in a drawn oot West Country accent. :)
 
Not looking for sympathy, but merely to add solidarity of feelings to other posters.

My mum passed away very quickly just before Christmas. She was always very active and a real shock at age of 71. Christmas was pretty shit and I have drank a fair volume of alcohol since then.
We finally got around to spreading her ashes on Friday, I had a brew with my dad, changed my canoe like shoes for something more sensible for a cross country drive and headed off to a training weekend with the reserves.
Saturday night the course were all due to head out to the pub for a few - I got my shoes out of the boot, look at them and they still had some of the ashes on them.

I had a bit of a moment. Sacked the pub off and still feel empty this morning. I know it will get better but I’m just sick of being an adult right now.

To you all in the same boat I’m feeling your pain - massive manly hugs to you all.


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